Life of a youth pastor .

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Small Group Leaders: Listen before you lead.

April 29, 2016 by Chris Parker 2 Comments

Can_You_Hear_Me_Now

I stood in the courtyard after church one Sunday and saw something that every youth pastor dreams of seeing. The services were over (yes we dream of that haha!) yet an entire middle school boys small group was still hanging out…with their leader.  They weren’t “meeting” as a small group, just talking with their leader…not throwing a football, not playing tag, not making farting noises…though this happens most of the time. In this moment theses students were relationally engaged with their leader, looking up to him, and incredibly fixed on him.

What was different about this leader than many of my other leaders? Sure, he was “cool” but even still there was something different in the way these boys just continued in conversation beyond service letting out.

After doing some digging I came to find out that THIS SMALL GROUP LEADER IS A GREAT LISTENER.

He didn’t show up to tell them how to do life better. He didn’t show up to punch a volunteer clock. He certainly didn’t do it to feel better about himself. He wanted to hear, know and empathize with these middle school boys. No doubt, it worked. These boys opened up in a way that I didn’t see other boys opening up. Because these boys knew their small group leader cared more about them as a person rather than pushing an agenda the listening became mutual.

Many small group leaders and even youth pastors are trying to figure out how to “make this small group work” because the kids are way off topic, always making jokes, not respecting the leader, etc. We try to implement rules for the small group, come up with behavior agreements, and even get parents involved to help reinforce the idea of authority. I suggest we begin with listening. If our students/kids are feeling heard I strongly believe they are more likely to listen to the leader during and more importantly AFTER small group is over.

 

Filed Under: Leadership, Student Ministry Tagged With: OC16, sgl, small groups, stumin

2 things when considering strategy.

April 28, 2016 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

Yesterday I attended a Jon Acuff breakout here at the Orange Conference in Atlanta, he talked about strategy. It was short and sweet, and to the point…with the occasional jokes of course. Jon has a great way of weaving authentic truth into his entertaining messages. I walked away with two nuggets of truth I’d like to share with you.

Strategy forces you to acknowledge the limits. 

Many times we believe that the sky is the limit. And guess what? As leaders we are guilty for aiming at the sky. When we don’t hit the sky we’ve been chasing after, we feel as if we have failed. It’s time we consider our strategy and understand it has limits. A strategy encompasses a unique DNA that “should” help us better focus on what we are saying NO to. The word NO can be interpreted as a bad word, an uncomfortable word or even discouraging about what you can’t do. However, when we learn to say NO to good things we will begin to understand what it looks like to acknowledge our limits. This will help us remain faithful to our strategy and execute the desired outcome.

Bigger isn’t better, better is better.

I’ve had the privilege of touring many churches over the past few years. Some with bigger buildings, bigger youth groups, others with bigger budgets and bigger staff. What have I learned? Bigger isn’t better, better is better. The high school ministry I lead is actually historically smaller than back in the hay-day when it was huge. Nonetheless, I’m told often by past leaders, previous students and current staff that our ministry is healthier than it ever was before. Our team has worked hard to put a Christ following adult if not two in the life of every teenager. When you do that, things get better. We also shifted the mentality of not just getting students plugged into a program, we wanted them to be part of something greater. 50% of our students volunteer in the church on Sunday mornings, this helps make our church a better place and gives the student a place to belong in the church beyond high school program. If you are considering simply program attendance you will miss it. Bigger isn’t better, better is better.

Filed Under: Church Planting, Leadership, Student Ministry Tagged With: OC16, orange leaders, strategy, thinkorange

Watch Orange Conference LIVE here!

April 27, 2016 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

This week is going to be awesome! What am I looking forward to the most? Glad you asked. The people. There are over 8,000 ministry leaders here who give much of their life to the next generation. The amount of influence in this place is awesome. I look forward to exchanging learnings, failures and successes with other ministry leaders. Want to learn with us this week but couldn’t make it? No worries, check out the LIVE feed here or come back for updates.

If you’re at #OC16 and want to stay connect this week hit me up on Twitter.

OC16_Insta2

Filed Under: Leadership, Student Ministry Tagged With: OC16, Orange, orange leaders

4 reasons why you won’t register for the Orange Conference.

October 8, 2015 by Chris Parker 2 Comments

Orange Conference. I think this year could be my 5th? year attending. I hear the mumblings and grumblings of many youth pastors I bump into when I mention or ask about going to the Orange Conference in Atlanta. Many of the excuses responses could be boiled down to these 4 things. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Leadership, Student Ministry Tagged With: OC16, Orange, stumin, thinkorange

Theme revealed for Orange Conference 2016!

October 5, 2015 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

MONDAY is when reality hits.
MONDAY is when Sunday is tested.
MONDAY is when faith has to work.

Monday is a big deal for students, it can make or break their week. It’s the day that they forgot they had that test, their girlfriend dumped them, they got cut to second string on the team. Monday is the day the student enters back into “real life” the reality that the weekend isn’t going to last forever and the hat of responsibility must be worn well to succeed in school, sports, friendships, etc.

As a youth worker do ever ask yourself on Mondays “I wonder if they are living it out today? I wonder if it really stuck with them?”

Monday is an important day and I couldn’t be more thrilled that we will aim at this day of the week during the Orange Conference.

Join me and the thousands of others that have committed to love the next generation with the love of Jesus. Let’s learn together. I hope to see you there!

Registration opens this Thursday, October 8. Set a reminder now to register on opening day and save $80 off regular rates + get INSIDER FIRST ACCESS to breakouts! FOR ONE DAY ONLY!

Join the conversation on Twitter using #OC16

Filed Under: Student Ministry Tagged With: OC16, orangeleaders, stumin, thinkorange, XP3, youthmin

Hey there, my name is Chris. I wake up every morning thinking youth ministry. If you are in the same boat, then I know you will identify with me, because you also live the life of a youth pastor .

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