Last week I found myself in a room of guys and gals from across the city of Austin who held the title of youth pastor, student director, high school pastor, etc. It has been neat to network with others that find themselves in my shoes and do the work that I do. We can exchange victories and failures in a safe place where we really understand the unique yet adverse opportunities we face on a weekly basis when working with students, parents and volunteers.
However, as I shook hands in this room full of 25 other youth pastors and started exchanging position titles, our job descriptions, and current goals I realized quickly that I’m a bit different than the majority.
In a world where the title youth pastor or student pastor has various levels of interpretation, most of them are simply interpreted by the interpreter’s experience. Other church staff or parents think about their own youth pastor from when they were in the youth group or perhaps immediately jump to that really fun camp speaker that seemed to connect with them. Despite trying to reconcile past experiences with current youth pastors, the truth remains the same, we are all different. We each have a unique set of gifts, personalities, and leadership qualities that make up who we are as we pursue the job description set before us.
Here’s my question that also presents a plea to those that hold the position or title of youth pastor/director: “What kind of youth pastor do you think you are?”
And for churches/para-church ministries that employee youth pastors and youth workers to engage the next generation: “What kind of youth pastor do you really want?”
I think it is incredibly important for both the church and the youth pastor to be in sync on these answers. From what I have obtained in conversations with other youth pastors, my personal experience in two different churches, along with my expectations and assumptions from other church staff members, the youth pastor usually falls into one of two categories.
Let’s approach this from a film making perspective. You have your director, the script, film crew, supporting actors and star of the show. This analogy will help the approach to a conversation with your youth pastor or a church you might be dating in an interview process as you inquire what they are looking for, or simply help you get in sync with your manager or the leadership of your church. You can substitute script for job description or goals and supporting actors for volunteers but today we will look just at the two most likely youth pastors candidates, the star and the director. When you fist bump that next student pastor you’re most likely coming into contact with one of these two people.
THE STAR
Being the star is the most common type of youth pastor approach and how many start their career, it’s how I got my feet wet in ministry. You are the life of the party and really bring the whole crowd to it’s feet. Your job is the attention gatherer, making sure everyone is looking at you, listening to you and following your lead. When you laugh, they laugh, when you cry they cry. This goes all the way from that silly game on stage to having the students hanging on your very words in a message. Like the star of the show you are the biggest attractor of students, being highly relational and present in their culture. You bring pizza to school lunches, attend as many games as you can and in your free time seek out your students friends, inviting them into the atmosphere you have created. The position of youth pastor at your church is vital for your youth ministry not because of the position, but because of who you are. You are the glue to this ministry, students feel like they really know you and you do your very best to know every student.
Sounds great huh? Here’s the downside. One of two truth’s will set in for you.
1. One day you are going to leave for another job, another ministry or another career. Those students you were leading are connected to a single person, not a church, not a ministry… and when you leave, so will they. I’ve seen this happen first-hand and witnessed it in other ministries of my peers. I urge you to find someone else they can look up to in addition to you.
2. You can’t be the star for every student and not every student is going to like you. You will never be culturally relevant enough for your students, it’s impossible. You don’t live in their culture every day in the way that they do. The star can only shake the hands of so many, only make so many football games, and any volunteers you currently have may feel like they are getting a short end of the stick while you have all the fun.
THE DIRECTOR
What seems like a back seat approach may have more effectiveness in youth ministry than what it may seem. The director type of youth pastor is managerial in his or her approach even if they have no staff. A director is good a recruiting what they need to build an effective team. A director does not simply dream about what they want, but pursues it with excellence, focusing on the entire outcome of a team rather than what they can do alone. Portrayed and perhaps bullied as more authoritative at times or a father figure, this kind of youth pastor will not be best friends with every student, there are very few students that will ‘feel close’ to their youth pastor. This youth pastor pours countless hours building a foundation of youth ministry within their church that will outlast their tenure. Their time is spent recruiting, vision casting, developing, and equipping other staff and volunteer leaders so that these men and women can be the stars and super-heroes of the students.
Here’s the nitty-gritty on ‘the director’ kind of youth pastor. I believe it to be a highly sought position by church leadership, but not by students or even parents of students. This is true at first, especially if there is an absence of volunteers or a small group strategy. This is especially true if your predecessor was ‘the star’ and you were hired to be ‘the director’. In this case you have your work cut out for you. It may take 3 years for your church leadership, families, volunteers and existing students to adapt to this change in philosophy of leadership – it did for me.
CAN I BE BOTH?
This is a fantastic question. For me personally based upon my gifts, experience, current job description, and how God has convicted my heart to lead, my answer is no. My current role is ‘the director’ and I find this approach most effective in pursuing my current ministry goals. There are times I step into the spotlight, take center stage and turn on ‘the star’ mentality, going 110% extrovert like in a camp setting… but it’s for a short moment and I know someone else can do it better. I want my students to look to their small group leaders as that influence, someone that can be there much more than I can, and hopefully make a bigger impact, more than I ever could, simply due to the amount of time they get with them every week. I’m only one person that can lead so many. I’m banking on those I lead will reach farther separately into the lives of my students, having a greater impact collectively as leaders than I ever could alone. I still work hard on my Sunday message and hope to connect the dots for the student listening, but I try hard to set up a home run for my leaders leading small group conversation and frequently bring in guest speakers who may connect with students better than I do.
Coming full circle, let me be clear, I think both ‘the director’ and ‘the star’ have their place and time in the life of a church, and both can be incredibly beneficial in their own ways. A church may be able to afford and even hire in such a way where they get a ‘director’ and a ‘star’ for their team, if the chemistry is right this could work wonders! What dictates the approach of the church or ministry is the job description. You had better be on the same page (literally) with the church leadership or there is going to be confusion, wrong perceptions and possibly an early exit for you.
I think these questions would be well worth your time in reflection on this topic and perhaps consider an evaluation by other peers and co-workers close to you.
- What kind of youth pastor do you think you are?
- What kind of youth pastor do others portray you as?
- What kind of youth pastor does your church want?
- Are you okay with these answers? If not, why not?
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Just make me a solid promise, no matter what, don’t pull these kind of shenanigans or take your cues from this guy.
Good post Chris. I’ve noticed too there seems to be a correlation with church size. Youth groups that are smaller tend to have a star YP because one person or parent has the capacity to know everyone intimately. At medium/large churches, with youth groups in the 40+ size, I think it’s a more natural fit and need to have a director YP.
I also see it resemble the lead pastor & executive pastor role. In a perfect world you would have both the face/voice of the ministry who is highly relational and the behind the scenes guy making everything run and pouring into and recruiting leaders.
I liked your analogy and can definitely tell your a director YP. 🙂
Andy, you’re right on and I started down that road towards the end of my post but then saw I had written an essay. I think church size has huge advantages to hiring the star, but if the church grows… star YPs need to be ready to adapt. Thanks for reading! Hope all is well.
Ignatious
Just came across your blog branching from a Google image search of “youth pastor convicted.” You’ve probably never been convicted of anything like about 95% of the youth pastors in the photos (mostly mug shots, all denominations) that came up. And there were hundreds of them! Hundreds of youth pastors convicted of various forms of sexual assault or flat out raping their innocent charges.
So since I wound up here, I guess I’d just ask that you be aware that there’s a real child-rape problem in the youth pastor trade. Pay attention to your colleagues, learn to recognize symptoms of child exploitation, inappropriate relationships and so on.
These kids are impressionable and believe that everything you’re telling them is true. That’s a whole other big issue but let’s address one thing at a time.
So please keep your eyes peeled and your hands in sight at all times. Thanks.
i like when hotdogs are made during youth pastor services… IGNATIOUS………….. I had 13 hotdogs last service and threw EVERYTHING up those hotdogs were low quality and NOT American made and I am thoroughly disappointed. I thought this church would have brought me a high quality product as church’s strive to be in Jesus’ likeness. If Jesus was walking among us today he would treat us as if we were the unbearing fig tree casting us away to bitter damnation for all of eternity. I also thought churches were about peace and acceptance, I was distraught to learn this was not the fact when the parson forced me to leave after I threw up all over the altar in the sanctuary, the food wasn’t fully digested, and there were still some hotdog chunks left, which I THOUGHT would’ve been easier to clean up. But NOoOoOoOo your janitor doesn’t follow the followings of Christ he WASHED peoples feet and your janitor REFUSED he wouldn’t even look at my vomitty dogs. I am truly very disappointed I love used to love Jesus and I still like services but now after this very very sad show of love and kindness i declare myself a true ATHEIST. If god was real i WOULDNT have thrown up and i would have been treated like a person and not thrown out at my lowest time in life. I threw up everywhere and had no support system to recover. This is just like my healthcare coverage I guess this Church was out of network. Thank you for your time I denounce you as Youth pastor Chris Parker. I truly thought you’d be a godly man… I cry to thy god.
And on another note I did truly have fun the game of ‘Duck Duck Goose’ as you called it was truly enthralling. It made me feel life and happiness again. I have NEVER felt more alive then when playing ‘Duck Duck Goose’ with Chris and the rest of the group. It was something unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. Also this ‘tag’ they invented was so interesting the idea of touching someone and screaming “You’re it” scratches my brain in a way never done before. It was a surreal experience and showed me the way to be more ‘normal’. The only problem was the 13 hotdogs. Mixed with these bizarre games it made an unholy concoction in my tummy. Something only the devil himself could have filled my stomach with. I ran to the altar to pray to god for my stomach to feel better but then all I could see was a spray of vomit. Truly the best and worst time of my life… Ignatius. But like seriously love the ministry keep it up.
Thy feet need thy cleaning good sir!
Your face needs thy cleaning bad sir!! You are an ignorant fellow with no understanding of the gospel. I find you to be idiotic and rude. This experience was life changing and you MOCK me with simple layman words. I find this to be disgraceful to even Jesus Christ himself. If I had the ability I would wipe my shoes as I leave your house and feel the power of god decimate your home. You’re an insolent foolish child. And on that note John 3;16 says “For god so loved the world he gave his only begotten son that whoever shall believe in him shall not die but live eternally” this shows god’s grace in its truest most kind form. It shows us how much god loves us. Would you give up your child for the lives of your creation? But this also raises a moral dilemma what kind of all powerful loving being would end their child rather then just ending the sin itself. God has infinite ability and therefore should be able to simply just wipe sin. How can an immoral being bring life and be the “basis of all morals”. When god punishes David by killing his child he had with Bathsheba it shows immorality. If someone commited a crime against you would you kill their child? No!! you would rather punish the man. God doesn’t just punish the committer of the crime but the children of that person as well. Their family members, wife, and children should always be more afraid then the actual committer. But on the first note you act as if you live in those times. The lack of showering truly disgusts me.
You shower? I let god’s love wash over me and clean myself. Do not devolve into human desires. Look to god for you well being.
John 13:10 New American Standard Bible – NASB 1995 (NASB1995) Jesus *said to him, “He who has bathed needs only to wash his feet, but is completely clean; and you are clean, but not all of you.” SO WASH YOUR VOMITY DOGS SIR!!!!!
John 13:10 New American Standard Bible – NASB 1995 (NASB1995) Jesus *said to him, “He who has bathed needs only to wash his feet, but is completely clean; and you are clean, but not all of you.”
Sorry thy sir may great wealth and honor come your way!
I am greatly pleasured to lay mine eyes upon thoust most recentest reply. Whomst ever might find troubles with thine character mayest you inform yours truly as most rapid thy can. Upon my learning, may you find no more feuds with such a person any longer.
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HAVE AT YE FOR LYING ABOUT MY MINISTRY. THIS IS FALSE THESE ALLEDGED ACTIPNS NEVER OCCURED HE IS A LIAR AND A FRAUD. WE SHALL DUAL AT THE STRIKE OF NOON WE WILL SHOOT ONE WHOLE AR-15 MAG.
I’m evil
I’m sooo evil
What thy name stats is that thy is evill!!!
Yes, I’m am most evil. I declare upon this website that I am not good natured. In fact you could say that I am devious, criminal, or … EVIL!
Bless ye heart ye evil sir hopefully you get great wealth sir!!
Don’t you mean…DAMN MY HEART!!! CAUSE I’M E V I L ! ! ! ! ! ! Do not even JEST about blessings. I wish you to stub your toe.
IN FACT I HOPE YOUR TOE STUBS YOU!!!!!!111!!!!1!1!!!111!!!!!1111!!11!!11!@!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!@11@
Thy sir don’t wish that to ye mortal that is not evident of kindness. May thy sword strike you down thy vermen of men!!!!!! May thy real Chris Parker strike thy down with thy Cross.
I Chris Parker fuckest thine mother!!!
THy CROSS!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!??!? Don’t you mean THY FIREARM!!?!?!???!?!?!?!?!?!?!? No symbol could harm me unless used as a striking weapon. Refrain from embarrassing yourself more on this site!!!
So is it worth is to become a youth pastor?
NO! You will waste your youth!! Then you would be a ADULT PASTOR!!! I personally am a EVIL MAN by trade. I find it to be very well paying with government benefits. If you want to join the evil man workforce please sign up for extensive government training. If you have any questions contact me at. Buzz.off@goaway.com
uh mewwww
Honestly kids are overrated they smell and are mean teaching the older people is better!!!
@Uhh sigma berry
How old are the people you teach? Surely you don’t try to teach the perfectly religious elders in our community. ‘,:|
Depends on the day but any age older then the teens!!!
What happened to my discussion board!
YOUR discussion board??
What is this a joke to you!
Hello, I am Morally gray Chris Parker. I am unsure of what to make of this. Perhaps I should inform The Chris Parker? He would know what to do.