10 things I have learned in 10 years of youth ministry.

December 20, 2017 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

This year marks 10 years of me contributing to vocational youth ministry and living out that calling…(starting to feel old-er) and I know many of you have contributed that and much more. I’m so thankful for your service to the next generation.

For the fun of it, and perhaps helpful, I asked myself the question, “What are 10 things you have learned in working with students over the past 10 years?” While I didn’t put a lot of time into this, these are some of the first things that came to mind.

Students always want to have fun.
Students want to be invited into serious conversations about life and faith.
Students need a Christ-following role model in addition to mom and dad to influence and reinforce what is learned at home and church.
Small groups are better than large groups, but large groups are still necessary.
Getting a student to serve somewhere in the church increases their chances of staying connected to the church after graduation.
Milestones such as short-term mission trips and camps/retreats provide major pivot points for a student’s faith journey.
Becoming a youth pastor to those that actually pastor the youth (small group leaders) can be your greatest asset. I love students, but I LOVE people who love students.
Networking with other youth pastors and youth leaders can only help your current situation.
Communication and strategy of communication can never be over thought. We live in a fast paced, media hungry world. You need to know what to say and how to say it, both in your messages and in social media.
Students “hang out” more via social media than ever before. The art of connecting in a personal conversations is being lost…we need to be aware of this and press into what this means for how we do youth ministry.

Many of these if not all of them are probably not new for you but I’d challenge you to evaluate how this is going at your church.

In my next post I’ll share with you about two big life events that made this year a big one and why the blog has been quiet.

Stay tuned!

I’m looking for a HS Pastor!

January 23, 2017 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

Around five months ago I stepped into a new role at Gateway Church as the Associate NextGen Pastor.

While still balancing my old role of high school pastor, this left little room to do anything “extra” (thus the quiet blog). Thankfully I was able to hire some part-time help to achieve more balance in the interim while looking for a new high school pastor.

After being in this role for 4 years I can say we have a solid small group structure and some AMAZING leaders! We are looking for a new HS pastor to come in and build upon that foundation. To take it to the next level we need someone who can look outside the church walls, equipping and encouraging students to see their schools as a mission field, meeting students that are far from God on their turf, at football games, school lunches, etc.

We have some good candidates in the running but our hiring team is still taking applications and resumes, if you or someone you know might be interested in the role of high school pastor please have them check out the job description in its entirety and apply here.

Youth ministry will always have a special place in my heart and I will (to the best of my ability) continue to write about my learnings along the way in tandem with my new journey as a NextGen pastor. Thanks to all who have found my blogs helpful over the past few years, you have been my fuel for writing. Stay tuned for more to come!

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New places inspire new ideas.

August 20, 2016 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

Amazon is on to something. Consider this leading “you want it, we have it” industry that can make something magically appear on your doorstep within 48 hours and now some items within the hour.

In reading a current article on their newest “office” in Seattle, I contemplated what this could mean for the church. Amazon is investing millions of dollars and hours of thought into something that won’t give an immediate return on it’s use. This outside the box idea for a creative space is pointing towards a larger idea and I think we can learn from it as the church. [Read more…]

The power of the prop.

March 23, 2016 by Chris Parker 1 Comment

“That was a great message.”

“I get it now, that was super helpful.”

“I will never forget when you brought that up on stage”

I get these kinds of responses from students and leaders after a message when I use a prop.

The power of a prop can completely change the message for someone.

A prop is necessary. There are a variety of learning styles out there. The most popular styles include auditory, tactile and visual. When you speak to a group on a weekly basis and all you do is speak you are catering to a portion of the audience that connects well to the auditory learning style. What about those that are tactile and visual learners? Props are necessary for these types of learners. Recently I’ve told my middle school speakers that they need to use at least one prop in their message. I believe we are connecting more with students in this way.

A prop is memorable. I remember when I was 12 years old my pastor speaking on Matthew 7:3 – “”Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” I’ll never forget when he pulled a 2×4 out from behind the pulpit and started walking around on stage speaking with it at eye-level as if it were coming out of his eye. This prop has stuck with me for 17 years. When I think about judging people, I think about the 2×4 I’m carrying around myself before I say anything. You never know how far a prop may carry into someone’s future.

A prop creates anticipation. When a student walks into a room and sees a cardboard box on stage they react, “Hmm. I wonder what that’s for?” The speaker begins his/her message and the audience knows at some point they will reference the box. The prop keeps the audience engaged and suspended in wonder of when and how the prop might be used.

Jesus used props. Who better to learn from that Jesus himself?! He knew that his audience had things around them all the time that would illustrate and reinforce the main ideas He would teach. A cup of water, a loaf of bread, a stone, a mustard seed. He took things that people completely understood to help them understand a greater truth. When we use props to reinforce what Scripture says we are teaching the way Jesus taught.

How often do you use props to illustrate your messages?

What’s one of the most memorable props you’ve seen used to illustrate a message?

Should I become an intern?

February 4, 2016 by Chris Parker 1 Comment

I have friends that have been in school for 25 years non-stop, graduating from high school, attending college, then on to get their masters and even a doctorate! Attending ivey-league schools and graduating top in their class you think they would be ready to conquer the world. Unfortunately, the classroom and textbooks will only cater so much knowledge to the developing brain of someone ready to dive into their calling. Going to school for something is a great foundation to build upon and I believe its necessary but much of school is a repetitive cycle of learning how to learn. When graduating from most schools the diploma basically reads, “We recognize this person has the self discipline to obtain information and practice that information.”

Now, before you get upset about me dismissing your nephew that worked three part-time jobs to get himself through college, I applaud him, I know it’s hard work…I lived it and I believe he will be better because of it. I’m not minimizing the information learned in the classroom, like I said, it’s necessary. What happens after graduation though? Should we be given a job of our choice just because we graduated top in our class? I believe that method has come and gone. Long ago in the 90’s my generation was promised by parents and teachers alike, “Go to college and get your degree so you can have the job of your dreams.”

It happens every single year. I hear a story about a student that is $100k in debt for going to college to study their “dream job” and after graduation they are working at the local grocery store. What?! It never gets old and always surprises me, and I always ask the question…”So what are they going to do?” Many times people shrug and say, “I don’t know.”

Enter the internship model. Interning, shadowing, residency, apprentice work – this mindset has been around since the beginning of time. Sit under the expert you want to learn from and keep learning until they believe you are ready to be on your own. My college offered “internship” programs that were really self selected. You want to be a youth pastor? Pick a church and youth pastor you want to learn from, have them agree to the timeline and get them to sign off on your hours, but it is so much more than that.

An internship is not simply a stepping stone into your job of choice, it’s an opportunity for learning that you will not get in the classroom. Too many students I talk to look at an internship as the final hoop to jump through, the icing on the cake or even a guaranteed position at the company where they are interning. Remember, nothing is guaranteed and the internship is a learning opportunity. So learn, learn, learn! Take notes, ask questions, be available, execute tasks given to you.

I was an intern in my field both prior going to college and post college…oh and during college.

PRE-COLLEGE I was offered an internship my senior year of high school into my freshmen year of college, I took it to see if I really wanted to do what I was feeling called to do. A pre-college internship is a wonderful opportunity to confirm your desires to be a __________. I would highly encourage this option if you can find it before spending loads of your parents money or the money you don’t have on a college education in a field you may eventually despise. I went to the local community college and took care of my basics during my internship.

DURING COLLEGE These are not simply the education years but the networking years. Get to know people that do what you want to do. Begin chasing down leads, take them out to coffee and pick their brain on the vocation they are living out daily. You will begin to see another side to this role you are studying in the classroom. Do they have an opening for custodial work during the week or need someone to greet clients at the front desk? Seize the opportunity. It’s amazing what you can learn about a profession by simply living in that world a few hours out of the week. You never know who you might meet, it could be your future boss.

POST-COLLEGE Perhaps one of the most critical times to intern yet short lived by many. Young professionals want the paycheck and the title. Both will come with time but perhaps the best next step is to find the person you want to learn from. Perhaps you are following in someone’s footsteps, just ask them, “What do you think about me shadowing you for a year?” If they say no, ask them who they might suggest. When you intern for someone or a company you will quickly see that you are taking on a specific DNA of how something is accomplished. Remember, it’s not the only way to do things. Just as much as an internship is learning how to do things it’s also a place to make promises to yourself such as, “I will never do it that way.”

In closing, I hope you find the job of your dreams. I believe if you chase after what you believe you were created to do it will eventually happen with time but time best spent could be learning from someone that is currently living it.

I’m really excited about the opportunity we have for those that are interested in entering into vocational ministry. If you want to be a youth pastor, worship leader, program director, church planter we have a pretty neat program for you. Its a front row seat to the daily life of those on staff at a church, the good bad and ugly.

This is not an internship. It’s so much more. The Leadership Development Program is an immersive ministry experience with mentoring and leadership training. You will do hands-on ministry and work along-side our staff teams and our goal is that after this experience, you will be ready to find a full time staff position at a church or para-church ministry. Come get prepared! To learn more, download the description of the Leadership-Development-Program and then click here to apply!

I am thrilled to be one of those on our staff team that speaks into the future leaders of the church and love sharing my success and failures with those that want to learn. If you are interested in a learning opportunity in Austin, TX this is a great one! I’d be happy to answer any questions you may have regarding the leadership development program. Don’t hesitate to reach out!

When the youth pastor agrees to be on a NextGen team…

December 22, 2015 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

I’m halfway through my fourth year on a NextGen team. It has been and continues to be an interesting and eventful ride, I wouldn’t trade the last few years for the world. Joining this team and helping bridge the gap between children and student ministry has been nothing short of a win for our church and the families that attend. I look forward to see the continued evolution of this family ministry team and the way it continues to partner with parents to reach the next generation with the love of God at Gateway Church.

Teamwork.

If you cannot trust the people you work with or you feel that they cannot trust you there will always be conflict, a NextGen team is not exempt. You can learn from each other more than you know, but you must be willing to listen to one another. Because of those on our children’s ministry staff, I have become stronger in the areas of application processes, child safety, parent communication, and volunteer recruitment. Our student ministry is better because of these people. We work together, eat lunches together, dream together, set goals together, argue together, cry together and resolve conflict together. We share a giant desk together.

Perspective.

A few Sundays back I had a guest speaker scheduled for our middle school program. This allowed me to float into other ministry areas and troubleshoot things that I might not be able to on a Sunday in which I am teaching. I do this often. This particular Sunday I wandered into the early childhood area. I was quickly asked if I could sub as a leader for a group of kindergarten boys. It was AWESOME! These little guys were full of life, rip-roaring and ready to go. As I learned their names and we talked about teenage mutant ninja turtles, I had a thought…”These are my future 6th grade boys, future graduated seniors!” I care just as much about what is going on in pre-school and elementary as I do high school because one day I know they will land in student ministry, and I want them to be ready for that. The parents of the 7th grade girl in your ministry also have a 4th grade boy. Until you realize that you exist to bridge the gap between the church and the home AND the age groups you exist to support you will always see silos in ministry. The reason the NextGen team works is because you are not simply thinking of yourself and what’s best for your particular ministry, you are willing to dive into the weeds of your peer’s problems and help them when help is needed, and won’t hesitate to ask them to do the same for you.

Attitude.

Get over yourself. It’s not about you. It’s about doing your very best to love, provide spiritual care, emotional support and direction to the families and volunteers/leaders that have been entrusted to you (read the parable of the talents). You do have to stand up for the things you feel convicted about or the areas you have experience in from time to time, but it should not trump teamwork or perspective. A sour attitude because of not “winning” a debate on a ministry decision, a tshirt design, ministry name, or where resources are being allocated will only cripple your leadership. If you have a bad attitude toward someone on the team or a situation that has occurred you need to work it out! Otherwise your team will have a very difficult time moving forward as a team and you will become a silo. This defeats the whole purpose of working on a NextGen team.

Final Thoughts.

To the youth pastor out there that is considering a position on a NextGen (family ministry team) or to the NextGen pastor that is seeking a youth/student pastor to join their team…you both are in for it. It takes patience, humility, willingness to learn from each other and building off the best found in each of your teammates. You both will need the backing of higher leadership, help them understand what you are trying to accomplish through this transition, make sure they are on board and keep them updated throughout the process. Trust your instinct. You are in the position you are in for a reason. If you feel convicted about something along the way, you NEED to bring that to your team, they and your church will benefit from it if implemented appropriately. Lastly, if this is new territory for your church I’d encourage you to reach out to other teams that appear to do this well. Schedule a visit, ask questions, take pictures, ask if they would be willing to share documents, etc.

What has been your experience on a NextGen team? What are your biggest wins? What are your biggest hurdles?

5 (reasonably priced) gift ideas for small group leaders and volunteers

December 3, 2015 by Chris Parker 1 Comment

I love my small group leaders! These people volunteer so much time energy throughout the year.

Tis the season we all think about gift giving. If you are good at appreciating your leaders/volunteers you should think about gift giving year round. When you give a gift you simply appreciate them for who they are and let them know you notice what they contribute to your ministry. I personally need to work on this more.

If I could, I’d buy all my SGL’s Ferraris…but that’s not gonna happen for obvious reasons.

Here are 5 (reasonably priced) gift ideas for your small group leaders: [Read more…]

Crunching Numbers. How do you (or your boss) rate attendance?

November 11, 2015 by Chris Parker 2 Comments

It happens at every church. The moment your senior pastor or supervisor asks you one of these questions:

“How many students do we have coming to program?”
“How many students attend on a weekly basis?”
“How many students regularly attend?”
“How many students are fully engaged?”
“What are our numbers for high school?”
“What are our current numbers for middle school?”

While many of these questions have a similar feel to them, they indeed are DIFFERENT questions. If your boss or senior pastor ask one of the above questions you might feel stuck or unfairly represented by answering that one question. Help them clarify their question by answering more questions that should be asked.

My high school ministry is most misrepresented by simply observing a weekly attendance report. If I were to answer the question, “How many high school students attended this week?” I would be forced to answer, [Read more…]

The reasons why we changed our program time, and how we did it

September 30, 2015 by Chris Parker 3 Comments

Before you get all fired up about changing your program time… here’s the best advice I can give you, approach this change with a level head, humility and above all perseverance. Going about making a change like this can upset a lot of people and you have the potential of losing students and parents.

I had been wanting to change our high school program time for 2 years. I will never forget the day that moment had finally arrived. As I watched the clock inch closer and closer to the new program time I became extremely nervous…only one student was present. I had thoughts like, “I just killed our youth group”, “I’m out of job now”, “Can I change it back?”…

While all these thoughts haunted me for a few minutes, sure enough, every student and more showed up to our new program time! This begs a couple questions that every youth pastor asks in this area: Why should I change my program time? How should I go about changing my program time?

Here are the reasons why we changed our program time:

We wanted to maximize our potential to reach more students.
We wanted to better partner with the parents, a more optimal drop-off and pick-up time.
We wanted to maximize relational time on the back end of program.
We wanted to protect our staff and key volunteers, this new time would help prevent burnout.

Here are some key milestones for making the time change:

Make a good pitch to your manager or staff that need to be involved.
Cast vision to your leaders first and make sure they are on board.
Conduct a parent/leader survey with the time options you are considering.
Write an email to your whole parent roster making them aware of a potential change, months ahead of time.
Pilot (don’t commit yet) the new program time for two-three months to help people adjust the idea, this is a true litmus test to see if people are willing.
Send out a formal email updating staff, parents and student on the time change and when it will officially take place.
Market the heck out of your new time via social media, celebrate it, make it fun.

Some history on my program change:

3 years ago when I inherited our HS group, we met on Wednesday nights. Through a survey and checking school practice/game schedules I knew I could not reach the same amount of students if we kept meeting on Wednesday nights. I wanted to move it to the time with the least amount of competition for school and family schedules, this lead me to Sunday afternoons…through a series of hoops with leadership I had to jump through (you know how that goes) I compromised to meet on Sunday nights 6pm-8pm. This was ending a bit late for students on school night and not what I wanted originally….something about program ending after dark does something to parents physiologically I believe. They don’t want to get out to pick up kids after dark. For freshmen and underclassmen, we saw parents wanted them home before dark on a school night.

After a year of doing the things listed above, we have arrived at a 4pm-6pm program time for high school students on Sunday afternoons. I copied the young life idea of doing something fun with the time…we meet at 3:59pm, this encourages them to be on time and it’s memorable.

Our program time outline:

3:30 – Small Group Leaders Meeting
3:59 – Large Group Program Start (Worship and Teaching)
4:45 – Breakout to Small Groups
5:30 – Dinner (Skinny budget dinner ideas coming soon!)
6:00 – Dismissal

Ending at this time on a Sunday allows our students and leaders to capitalize on hangout and relationship building via one off hangouts directly after church. Students are doing it and I myself have already taken advantage of hanging out with leaders after a program, going to the lake for a swim, out for ice cream, etc.

A book that helped me lead the charge on making this change along with other major shifts in student ministry was a book by Carey Nieuwhof, thanks so much Carey for this book…it gave me the courage, boldness and perseverance to press forward in sticking to my convictions and persevering until there was resolution.

You can get Carey’s book here…it’s a quick read and I recommend it for any church or business that are considering making a change.

Any questions on program times? Best practices you have used in making a change? What have been some of your best tactics or worse failures you have learned from along the way?

I’m the only one who can fix this …a leadership flaw.

September 23, 2015 by Chris Parker 1 Comment

It’s not a statement of pride, rather a statement of desperation. Have you been going 100mph on a Sunday morning when that leader or volunteer asks for your help to…

Fix the sound board.
Unfreeze the check-in computers.
Talk to an upset parent.
Print off small group questions.
Find that one item that no one can ever find, be it a microphone or speaker cable.

Our people need our help solving problems that seem unsolvable to them, and we need to meet them in that frustration. We have all found ourselves doing something important and the need went double down, something else needs my attention. The saying goes, “You can’t be in two places at once.” My plea for you and myself in these situations – DUPLICATE YOURSELF.

It would be really nice to step into a futuristic machine and hit a button and two of you come out…actually now that I’m considering it, that might be terrifying. Although, it’s not as easy as hitting a button…it is rather simple, sometimes we just have a hard time carving out the moment to train another person to do what we do, and teach someone to know what we know.

I’ve begun a new approach. Whether it be a student or volunteer, if a need arises I do my best to train on the spot rather than just fix the problem at hand by myself. Now, there is another person with the knowledge to fix that problem should it arise again. If I can’t fix the problem at hand I make it a priority to be a resounding gong to the powers that be and make it their problem until it’s taken care of…if I don’t my leaders and volunteers will naturally loose fervor and trust that I am really for them.

After observing the places I get stuck on Sundays, I now have most of my basis covered, with a few exceptions…so that if a real emergency arises I can be present and fully available to execute the task given to me without worrying about everything else going on.

What obstacles or roadblocks do you seem to encounter rather often? Are you really the only person that can handle it? Who can you entrust this problem to? Look at it this way, you aren’t giving a problem away, you are creating an opportunity for someone else to step in and lead.

Addendum: There will be a few things that ONLY you can fix. Usually this boils down to hard conversations that are only appropriate coming from you, approval of new leaders in your ministry, casting vision for the ministry year, etc.

Life of a youth pastor .

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