Life of a youth pastor .

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I wrote the email, but they will never know.

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This week my inbox continues to receive a handful of the same looking emails… and they are all from my small group leaders. It could be surprising, but it’s not, I planned for this to happen.

Partnering with parents can sometimes feel unreachable, but it’s just like anything else we do, if it seems unreachable perhaps we haven’t reached for it yet. I focus my small group strategy by always training with a weekly WIN for my small group leaders. When they walk in the door for the leaders meeting they see the WIN on the board and the WIN was emailed to them earlier in the week. I make sure my WIN(s) revolve around the subjects found in the book Lead Small. This ensures I don’t forget anything that could reinforce our strategy when training and equipping leaders.

This year the bulk of my WINs will revolve around partnering with parents. If you don’t know why that’s important or how critical it can be, perhaps I can convince you. A mom of high school student recently said to me, [Read more…]

#winning

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When your leaders win, you win. When you win, your church wins.

You want your leaders to feel like winners don’t you? They work with students every week for months and sometimes years at a time. This can be discouraging and feel more like a weekly task rather than an eternal investment. I want my leaders to feel like they have won each week. To do this I have developed a WIN calendar for them. Each week the WIN is a little bit different, they are made aware of the WIN earlier in the week through an email or our app. During our meeting (pre-game show) we discuss the WIN for the week and why it’s important.

Do you give your leaders a tangible WIN each week? Here are a few WINs that I rotate through:

  • Make contact with the parents, ask how you can be praying for them.
  • Attend your students lunch or extra-curricular activity.
  • Throw a small group party.
  • Tell a student how much you care about them.
  • Send an email home reminding parents of upcoming events.
  • Talk about camp in small group and how to sign up.

These wins are much more effective in and through small groups, more than they ever would be from the stage.

The pre-game show.

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pregame

The pre-game show could be the most important piece of information for the viewer, especially if you haven’t been keeping up with your team all week.  During the pre-game show you are filled in on all the facts, flaws, hopes and expectations for what you are about to watch. Whether it is tuning in 5 minutes before kick-off or an hour worth of discussing replays from last week and how the team hopes to overcome potential obstacles for this week, the pre-game show is a wealth of information.

Every student ministry has a pre-game show. How well are the leaders educated prior to the big game–the program or their small group? It has been my experience that much of the success of the program or small group will be determined by the quality of your pre-game show. Talking with other youth pastors I understand there are many different ways to run a pre-game show, that’s not the point right now, the point is to remember that you have a pre-game show whether you know it or not.

Last year I had the opportunity to observe another youth ministry, the youth pastor was a friend of mine. We were 15 minutes out from the program start time and I was in the back of the room chatting with some of his volunteers. The closer we got to program start time the more eyes of leaders would drift to the youth pastor looking for some sort of direction or instruction. Nothing happened. As students poured into the room the youth pastor went over the sound booth and grabbed the microphone, he was headed to the stage to kick-off a program the leaders knew nothing about. That was there pre-game show.

Every student ministry has a pre-game show. Your leader’s experience prior to your program or their small group can greatly benefit or unfortunately burden your ministry. Take a moment to evaluate your current pre-game show.

  • If I were a leader in my ministry, would I feel well equipped for my role?
  • Does our pre-game show (leaders meeting) feel rushed, do we need more time?
  • Is there a good relational and informational balance in my pre-game show?
  • Do my leaders understand what a clear WIN looks like for their small group on that specific day?

I’d like to take a closer look at these questions based upon my own experience in ministry over the next few days.

“Did I win?”

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basketballhoop600x375

Believe it or not, your small group leaders ask this very question every single week. Often a small group will end with your leader feeling frustrated or defeated because they couldn’t get through all their questions or even end with a prayer because someone was laughing, the juicy gossip was flowing, or simply no one wanted to talk. The small group leader walks away feeling like they lost. The feeling of defeat is the last thing we want our leaders to experience.

It’s playoff season in the NBA and everyone wants to win. My favorite basketball games are the ones that are point for point back and forth across the court with only seconds to spare. Almost every team has the same end game in mind when mere seconds are left…do whatever it takes to get the ball in the hands of the best player to take the shot before the buzzer. There is not a doubt in that player’s mind – this shot will win or lose the game.

As a leader of leaders, it’s my job to set my small group leaders up for the game winning shot. As time dwindles on the clock in small group, our leaders need to know how to take the game winning shot. The win for a small group leader needs to be clearly defined each week.

If we want our small group leaders to walk away feeling as if they won, we need to set them up for the win. Tomorrow I will share some wins with you that I have implemented for my ministry. #winning!

 

Large Group vs. Small Group

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tug of war

Let’s play out a mock scenario. You are alone in ministry and are presented with the option to provide a dynamic large group program that dozens of students enjoy attending OR recruit and equip other leaders to provide small groups for the same group of students.

Large Group or Small Groups? And you can only choose one.

This may not be the current reality of your leadership position or church, but depending which one you choose in this mock scenario says a lot about your ministry philosophy and how you will execute that philosophy.

Perhaps you do offer both the large group program and the small group model. One of these will receive more planning this week than the other. One of these has a larger budget. One of gets more time and attention.

Why did I create a mock scenario for you? Because it’s easier to think that this is a pretend situation rather than a reality that happens every single week. Every week you will choose as the ministry leader whether large group or small group is more important. You will program for one better than the other, you will put more time and effort into one rather than the other. It may be time for you to re-evaluate your priority of large group vs. small group.

I’ve got more to say about this in my next post and announce the winner.

Give them time.

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loveovertime

My most repeated request from small group leaders over the past month has been, “Can we get more time for small group?”

I love what the ReThink groups states: Love over time matters. If that’s the case, here is what I would say to all the youth pastors out there, “QUIT TAKING ALL THE TIME.” If you have an opportunity to put another leader in the spotlight, do it. Make small groups a reality.

With our student programs being scheduled to include both large group and small group time, the large group time can easily trump the small group time–but it shouldn’t. The large group time has many moving elements–games, announcements, message and worship. Just because it has more moving parts, doesn’t give it a more dominant position. When we weigh the importance of small group time vs. large group time, the actual amount of time given is your measurement. Small group leaders need time to build trust. When trust is built then students open up and relationships happen. Relationships matter the most. Relationships are the glue of our ministry.

I have been guilty of hijacking the time of my small group leaders during our large group time. Leaving your leaders just enough time to get into a quick discussion before closing in prayer is like giving them a cake and not enough time to eat it.

Give them time.

Leading your leaders.

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 multiply

Perhaps the best thing you can do for your students is understand that you simply cannot lead them all. Whether your youth group size is 30 or 300, you need to inherit this mindset if you don’t already have it. An authentic relationship is hardly possible with 30, let alone 300.

Do you want to offer the very best to the students and make sure they are connected to great leadership? The answer isn’t you, at least not for all of them. Offer the best through your leaders. Recruit them. Develop them. Get them connected to students. Focus your leadership on the leaders, in turn you will multiply your leadership beyond what you could have ever offered students on your own.

If it weren’t for the 35-40 leaders that were investing into our students, the students would not be truly connected to the church body… they would be connected to just a building, just a program, just another student function.

My goal is to get a Christ-following adult into the life of every student that walks through that door, and I have to be okay with it not being me… but only because I recruited, developed and am in touch with those that are leading the students.

Your best small group leader.

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time-and-calendar

One of the best things that happened to me as a young teenager growing up in the church was getting a small group leader. One of the most unfortunate things that happened to me growing up in the church was losing that small group leader and getting a new one the next year, and then another new one the following year.

Not intentionally I’m sure, but we were a tough group of guys. We goofed off, wanted to have fun, couldn’t sit still and it was a miracle if we actually read through a Bible passage together in small group. Whether it was the leaders schedule, or we were just a tough group of guys, we didn’t have a continued connection with the same leader throughout our high school years.

If there is one thing you can always help cast vision for in your ministry, it’s COMMITMENT.

Not because the leaders have to be there every Sunday, but they understand it’s a privilege and they want to be there! Trust is built over time, leaders wonder why small group stays surface level or they don’t see fruit from their labor. Commitment is made over time, week after week, year after year.

I currently have every leader that wants to volunteer in our ministry sign a one-year commitment. I know of some churches that ask for 3 year commitments! It’s just part of their culture, I’m so grateful for this kind of mentality. The best small group leader is a committed one, they show up and keep showing up for their group.

What kind of commitment do you get from your leaders?

Will leadership sufferings expire you?

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Time-expired-by-Joel-PennerAfter being at my church now for just over 18 months as a youth pastor I have come to the realization that I have reached my expiration date. Yup, the average tenure of student pastors across the nation. But why? In comparison to other jobs and positions held both inside and outside of ministry why only 18 months? We can knock on leadership’s door and ask why and many times the excuses could vary from we can’t have more money for our ministry or more staff to help us do our job, perhaps we just feel like a step-child in the church at times, staff and parents patting us on the back thanking us for “dealing” with the teenagers. I don’t think a student pastor leaves a church or ministry because of the students, budget, or even staffing, it’s simply a leadership thing.

A nugget shared from J. Oswald Sanders in his book, “Spiritual Leadership”…

“True greatness, true leadership, is found in giving yourself in service to others, not in coaxing or inducing others to serve you. True service is never without cost. Often it comes with a bitter cup of challenges and a painful baptism of suffering. For genuine godly leadership weighs carefully Jesus’ question: “Can you drink the cup I drink or be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with?” (Mark 10:38b). The real spiritual leader is focused on the service he and she can render to God and other people, not on the residuals and perks of high office or holy title. We must aim to put more into life than we take out.”

I inherited the leadership of a student ministry with a small handful of dedicated leaders knowing we needed many more to help develop authentic faith for our students… forgetting what was behind and pressing on toward the goal over the last 18 months we now have 45 leaders and volunteers serving in student ministry! And while many give the thumbs up and applaud the numbers, we know it wasn’t just handed us. Take a good hard look at any church or ministry in the world that is growing – growth didn’t happen without painful moments and suffering that cuts deep emotionally and spiritually. In my situation I would say for every one leader recruited there has been a difficult or bitter conversation to be had with another. If anything, I have learned that my leadership sufferings have made me stronger, allowed me to carry more and develop a higher capacity of compassion for others.

The next time a challenge is added to your bitter cup or you experience painful suffering, just know that it’s part of the job description. And if you think quitting your position will excuse you from that, you are simply wrong. Challenges and suffering live at the top of the list when it comes to following the way of Christ. Hang in there, work through the bitterness and find joy on the other side, don’t quit too soon.