Life of a youth pastor .

Subscribe

  • Home
  • About
  • Books
  • Contact

Naming your ministry…

March 26, 2014 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

hello

Starting a ministry? Did you change the name of your ministry? Do you want to?

Ministry names are important. A ministry name will even identify you as a ministry leader alongside your ministry, both your successes and your failures. There is so much that can be communicated in a mere word. This word isn’t the only thing that will define your program or ministry but it will be used a whole heck of a lot.

My current situation is unique in that I inherited a ministry with a particular name, but it’s not sticking. Sure, that’s partially my own fault and I will take the brunt of that. I don’t call the ministry what it used to be called but also don’t make a big deal out of calling it something new. I simply didn’t want my current ministry to be tied to something of the past. We operate and function in a different way now and I don’t want the current ministry to be confused with the way things used to be.

I think the idea of naming my ministry something new is furthest from importance right now, we are still trying to learn process, programs and procedures. Sometimes it is easier to name or re-name a ministry once it really starts establishing itself rather than putting a name to something that doesn’t really exist yet.

Let your passion, desires and goals drive you to a name…don’t let just a cool or catchy name drive you to your passion or the kind of ministry you desire for yourself and others.

Filed Under: Church Planting, Student Ministry Tagged With: church, Church Planting, ministry, name, naming your ministry, student ministry

Reader’s feedback : I introduced myself.

March 20, 2014 by Chris Parker 3 Comments

you've gotta hear this

Recently, I have had more traffic on my blog than usual, gaining more readers. Thank you to all who read. I appreciate comments, but love stories even more. A close college friend recently read my blog on “People are more important than projects.” It triggered a real-time response for him…

Hey dude, thanks for posting that article about people being more important than projects. We all know that but it’s something we need reminders of. I read your article and was reminded how I really don’t know my neighbors, so today when I was leaving for church with a little time to spare to say hi to the high school kids I know from bible study, i saw my neighbor across the street standing looking my way (might have been smoking), and it was kinda awkward because i wanted to just wave hi cause we both saw each other and then get in the car, but your article came to mind and i knew i needed to go say hi and introduce myself. We had maybe a 5 minute conversation before his delivery food arrived, and i went to church. But I finally went for it and he was really friendly and appreciative that I came over.

And then…

When I got home from church he was out again so I waved hi, and walked down the drive way to say hi. He thanked me again for earlier that evening and invited me in for a beer, so I said “uh… sure”. We spend then next 2 hours talking and I learned a lot about him, and found out he goes to my church to one of the services I don’t go to. He really enjoys the church, but I don’t know how sound he is on believing some critical doctrine. We talked a little about religion, but I didn’t want to press things since it was the first time we’ve ever really talked. But I hope to have more conversations and hopefully be a good christlike representation. Thanks again!

Wow! Thanks so much for sharing, what an encouragement. This is the fuel that keeps me writing.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: conversation, Evangelism, introduce, love your neighbor, ministry, neighbor, the wave

Small effort, BIG difference!

March 11, 2014 by Chris Parker 1 Comment

angeloaktreel

Since moving into our home, there has been multiple things that have needed attention. Everything from painting rooms to replacing doors. Recently an arborist stopped by my house and informed me that the giant oak trees in both the front and backyard needed trimming. He quoted us $2,000 for the process, and said that was on the cheap side.

If you didn’t know it, I’m a do it yourself kind of person. Pruning all these trees by myself would have taken me 3-4 weeks by myself. So, I took matters into my own hands but decided not to do it alone. I called down a list of friends, bought a pole saw, and put some BBQ on the grill.

With the help of friends we knocked out the pruning in a couple of hours. There were ladders and pole saws everywhere, chain saws whizzing through thick limbs, and delicious BBQ for the finale!

Inviting others into your process is a small effort but can make a BIG difference. How can you invite others into your current ministry dilemma to help make that big difference you want to see?

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: big difference, church, ministry, oak trees, pruning, teamwork

The priority is reconciliation.

March 6, 2014 by Chris Parker 2 Comments

Legend_Fighting_Championship_3

Have trouble letting something go? Do you have a hard time looking someone in the eyes? Are you holding a grudge?

If you get anything right in ministry or life for that matter, get this… reconciliation is THE priority. If you don’t practice this on a regular basis then you are not demonstrating what God has done for you. Unfortunately, the enemy has you right where he wants you too.

Jesus gives us grace. Just as we are, he accepts us in our mess. So, if we are to imitate Christ in our life, why do we sulk and drag our feet when it comes to making amends after someone wrongs us or we know we have wronged someone else. Jesus himself when being crucified said, “Father forgive them, they know not what they do.” Luke 23:24

In ministry you can choose to emphasize or run away from reconciliation. Often you will find those you lead in these situations. After some pretty brutal storms of my own, I now look at these hard times as an opportunity to display what Christ has displayed for us and lead others through it.

Having been wronged or wronging others, my experience has been deep and wide. I’ve had reconciling moments with my wife, senior pastors, direct supervisors, my peers, and even those I lead.

It’s the access to a beautiful gospel that allows this reconciliation.

I love how the Message puts it: “Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.” Colossians 3:13

I have never been shot down in an attempt of reconciliation when wearing my all-purpose garment. People can smell love a mile away. Likewise, they can smell a forced apology.

  • Keep short, quick accounts.
  • Be genuine.
  • Listen to the other party without interrupting.
  • Follow up with an email, phone call, or text thanking them for hearing you out.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: church, forgive, forgiveness, Marriage, ministry, reconciliation, student ministry

Spring clean your ministry space!

February 21, 2014 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

spring-cleaning-man-221x300

My house has been through a remodel this year along with trying to make a yard out of a previous overgrown jungle. It seems like we are always spring cleaning at our house, but it feels good. It feels good to donate items to the local goodwill, sell some stuff on craigslist for cash or get those six yard bags to the curb from of all the pruning that was needed.

This isn’t only happening at home but at church too. My first “assignment” in ministry as an intern was to spring clean the church shed. Since then, I do my best to get rid of the things that aren’t needed and avoid piling stuff up in the closets. Student ministries around the country are notorious for hoarding. Don’t be a hoarder! If you haven’t used it in a year, throw it away, sell it or donate it to another ministry. The most uninviting thing a guest or family could experience is your mess, clean it up. Perhaps you need a change of scenery in your space, or you are so used to your mess you don’t see it. Ask others for feedback. You will be amazed at how much easier ministry is when you know where things are at and they are easily accessible. So, what does your storage space look like? If you don’t have storage but need some, how can I help you solve that problem or brainstorm?

Now the hard part, go clean!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: cleaning, ministry, room, space, spring cleaning, student ministry, student pastor, Youth Ministry, youth pastor

Will leadership sufferings expire you?

December 9, 2013 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

Time-expired-by-Joel-PennerAfter being at my church now for just over 18 months as a youth pastor I have come to the realization that I have reached my expiration date. Yup, the average tenure of student pastors across the nation. But why? In comparison to other jobs and positions held both inside and outside of ministry why only 18 months? We can knock on leadership’s door and ask why and many times the excuses could vary from we can’t have more money for our ministry or more staff to help us do our job, perhaps we just feel like a step-child in the church at times, staff and parents patting us on the back thanking us for “dealing” with the teenagers. I don’t think a student pastor leaves a church or ministry because of the students, budget, or even staffing, it’s simply a leadership thing.

A nugget shared from J. Oswald Sanders in his book, “Spiritual Leadership”…

“True greatness, true leadership, is found in giving yourself in service to others, not in coaxing or inducing others to serve you. True service is never without cost. Often it comes with a bitter cup of challenges and a painful baptism of suffering. For genuine godly leadership weighs carefully Jesus’ question: “Can you drink the cup I drink or be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with?” (Mark 10:38b). The real spiritual leader is focused on the service he and she can render to God and other people, not on the residuals and perks of high office or holy title. We must aim to put more into life than we take out.”

I inherited the leadership of a student ministry with a small handful of dedicated leaders knowing we needed many more to help develop authentic faith for our students… forgetting what was behind and pressing on toward the goal over the last 18 months we now have 45 leaders and volunteers serving in student ministry! And while many give the thumbs up and applaud the numbers, we know it wasn’t just handed us. Take a good hard look at any church or ministry in the world that is growing – growth didn’t happen without painful moments and suffering that cuts deep emotionally and spiritually. In my situation I would say for every one leader recruited there has been a difficult or bitter conversation to be had with another. If anything, I have learned that my leadership sufferings have made me stronger, allowed me to carry more and develop a higher capacity of compassion for others.

The next time a challenge is added to your bitter cup or you experience painful suffering, just know that it’s part of the job description. And if you think quitting your position will excuse you from that, you are simply wrong. Challenges and suffering live at the top of the list when it comes to following the way of Christ. Hang in there, work through the bitterness and find joy on the other side, don’t quit too soon.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: church, growing, J. Oswald Sanders, lead small, leadership, ministry, small group leader, spiritual leadership, student ministry, suffering, Youth Ministry, youth pastor

DIY SM – Do it yourself student ministry!

April 8, 2013 by Chris Parker 23 Comments

DIYSMConfession, I’m guilty of reading Popular Mechanics magazine. I love to find articles on do-it-yourself (DIY) projects around the house. Whether its staining the wood trim around our windows or changing the oil on my motorcycle, I find it fascinating to learn and do things on my own.

While time alone and DIY projects are life giving to me…I know that doing student ministry alone is not! I hope you would agree with me that student ministry was not created for the student pastor. The student ministry is not a DIY project for one to carry all alone.

Student ministry is not about you! It is not about what you accomplish, it is not about the best message you ever gave, and it is certainly not about the youth space or branding that you have created for students. At the end of your term as student pastor, you will eventually be forgotten and replaced. That might seem a little harsh, but its the truth. Remembering that student ministry is not about you, and keeping that in front of you, will only benefit your ministry and expand its reach. Only when you have this mindset are you able to truly empower your volunteers and students do some ministry of their own.

You may be thinking, “If I want things done right, then I need to do it myself.” Get over it. When you empower others to do ministry you relinquish your rights to be the “do-er” but you don’t relinquish your rights to be the visionary. Practice painting the picture for people, and let them do it! It won’t be done the way you would do it, but more is being accomplished overall through others than if you run a DIY SM. Many times I have found that when I empower someone else…whether it be a mom, dad, student, or fellow staff member…they do a far better job than what I could have done myself! The best memories in student ministry are made when many hands work together, making the job light, everyone is participating by putting their best foot forward in an area that needs attention. Healthy teamwork within your ministry is necessary in moving things forward.

Here is a list of to-do’s that many student pastors (including myself) are guilty of when it comes down to a DIY SM:

  1. Readying the room. Setting out chairs, turning on lights, music, etc.
  2. Finding or creating a game and leading it.
  3. Stage design…hours can be spent doing this.
  4. Creating and maintaining a visitor followup process.
  5. Social media interaction – FB, Twitter, Instagram. Following & liking student posts.
  6. Trip/Retreat research. Lodging, meals, travel.
  7. Helping create or maintain a student band.
  8. Supply run. Need I say more?
  9. Liaisons between your church and local schools.
  10. Project planning and recruiting for the BIG event.

…and the list could go on and on. As the student pastor you can’t do it all on your own. Empower your people!

After writing this article I feel compelled to write out a few thoughts on each item listed above. Stay tuned.

Question for you: What has been your biggest mistake or learning point in a DIY project? Whether in ministry or personally?

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: church, Church Planting, DIY, empower, leaders, leadership, ministry, not about you, student ministry, students, stumin, to-do's, volunteers, Youth Ministry

$20 vs. Freedom

February 20, 2013 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

 

20

Lately I have been looking around the house for things I don’t use, trying to decide whether I want to repurpose the item or sell it. I came across my old iPhone – I have upgraded and this one is collecting dust. So, just like you may have done, I took some artsy pictures of the phone and put it up on Craigslist. I listed the phone for $250. When the phone went up it was like bait in a shark tank, 6 or 7 responses in the first hour. I negotiated with a mom and her son, his phone had been stolen, we agreed on $225.

As I approached the McDonalds last night to make the exchange there was a faint whisper, “Give them $20 back after the deal.” “What?!” I exclaimed. I ignored the absurd thought and started dwelling on the fact that this was MY money and I had every right to take the cash from the amount we agreed on. Yet again, but this time a bit stronger, “Give them $20 back after the deal.”  I walked through the doors and saw they were the only ones sitting at a table, I sat down and showed them the phone, that it worked just fine. They liked the product and wanted to proceed with the deal. They asked me to help find an ATT store to reactivate the phone, then the mom whipped out the cash and started counting it in front of me, the pull on my heart came again, yet even stronger, “Give them $20 back, you will regret this missed opportunity.” This voice was all too familiar, the voice of the Spirit asking me to trust Him and obey. At this point I was mad, confused, and really just wanted to get out of there with my money. I counted $225 and pocketed the money. I was a gentleman of course and held the door open for them as they walked out to their car. As Matthew, the son, was about to close the door to his car I broke down and yelled, “Hey Matthew! You will need this to reactivate the phone at the store.” I handed him the twenty dollar bill, he seemed rightfully confused, his mom looked extremely thankful, with a smile and a wave from both of them I walked back to my truck grinning ear to ear. It was the best $20 I have spent in a long time.

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1

Last night I had the privilege to experience the freedom in choosing to give, I was not a slave to my selfish desires or money. There is a strong joy in giving, there is an even greater joy in obeying the Spirit when He calls you to do something, even when you don’t completely understand. People say that money can’t buy you happiness, in this case I think it did for both parties.

Later that night I got a text from Matthew and his mother, “We made it to the ATT store with 5 minutes to spare. Thanks for you assistance and generosity! There aren’t enough people in this world with those characteristics. Thanks again!”

As much as I would like to take credit for what happened, I cannot. The Spirit wanted to test me and be in the spotlight. We can be different than the world around us when we choose to walk in the Spirit. I know the fruits of the Spirit are attractive to the believing and unbelieving world, but what about the one that is responding to the call? Sometimes we want others to understand God more when we choose to walk in the Spirit (that others might see Jesus in us). In this particular situation I believe that I came to understand God and my freedom in Christ more, I may have got more out of this than they did. I am extremely thankful for my divine appointment with Matthew and his mom.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: $20 vs. freedom, 20, church, dollars, freedom, giving, greed, iphone, matthew, ministry, mom, student ministry, youth pastor

Are you prepared for the attack?

December 27, 2012 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

water-leaking-through-the-ceiling

Perhaps the best time to buy or rent a house is after a storm. A heavy storm. You can see where the house leaks, where it is weak and vulnerable to the attack of the elements. It’s a full house here in NYC and after the big storm last night this truth is all too fresh for my wife and I – we woke up to standing water in her parents basement.  Thankfully, everything is okay and after many loads of laundry and a few laughs we are getting ready for the day.

Now, you don’t usually get to call upon a thunderstorm right before you sign a lease or give a down payment, but soon enough the storm will come. When water starts appearing where it shouldn’t you find yourself on the hunt for leaks, seeps, drips and drops. Finding the source to the weakness and point of attack is crucial. If you do not find the source, or the initial point of attack, you can count on that specific leak coming back with a vengeance, causing more damage than it did originally.

This is a reality that every pastor or youth worker should understand. Let me explain.

Six months ago I inherited a youth ministry. While I would not consider myself “owner” (that’s God) I do feel very responsible to be a good steward of what He has entrusted to me during this season of life.

This ministry has endured a few storms- both prior to my coming and since my arrival- and I have had the opportunity to see its true colors, those areas where it is vulnerable for attack. Now, let’s go back to this morning. My wife and I wake up to standing water. Quickly we react- find a bucket, a towel, a shopvac, anything to maintain the leak and clean up the mess. But we don’t stop there; we search for the source of the leak. Once found, would it make sense to ignore it and go back to sleep? No. After doing damage control one should repair it, patch it, and reinforce it. We need to ensure that water is not going to seep in through that crack ever again.

While water was our enemy this morning, each day every one of us face a craftier enemy – Satan.

For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12 (NLT)

Whether it be people- students, volunteers, fellow staff- or a personal struggle, I guarantee that you will endure attack from the enemy on every level. Your ministry will encounter strong winds, thunderstorms, and possibly a hurricane now and again. Stand your ground. Build your ministry to be ready for the attack.

Here are a few things to keep in mind during an attack:

  • Do not inflict more damage by confusing the damage with the source of attack. I cannot be more straightforward than this: too many times we are quick to blame a person or focus on a current problem rather than searching out the source. Yes, humans do give into temptation, people say mean things, and as a leader people will follow you or rally against you. Perhaps a moral failure will cause dissension in your ministry or even a dark secret revealed will void the return of one of your all-star volunteers. We must remember that Satan is the tempter, the schemer, the one who is unseen and desires to stay unseen. He is plotting us against each other and aiming to tear us apart. Don’t forget your source of attack.
  • You determine how others react. As the leader, people will mirror your reaction to the attack at hand. What you say will be repeated and how you handle the attack will show your team how they should handle the attack. If you have to reveal a weakness or problem area to your team, do so in such a way that points back to the enemy and reminds them that you have hope for the situation. If you do not respond well you may as well pour salt on the wound.
  • Bear up arms against the enemy, be prepared with prayer and scripture. The Apostle Paul knew his enemy and was prepared for the attack. He was not content with simply sitting in defeat but rather found his strength and defense in something more than what the enemy could handle. He used divine communication to call upon the ultimate power! Read 2 Corinthians 10:3-6
  • Victory has been promised. Despite the attack, hold on to the hope we have. Perhaps at times I am too eternally focused, letting the present pass me by. However, there is much hope found in our future as the Church. The enemy will be defeated once and for all – we must consider him as that, a loser. Shedding light on this hope and helping your team think this way can help get you over the hump and past the situation at hand. Spanning thousands of years, your attack is one of many skirmishes on a battlefield of millions.
  • See the unseen. You must always be aware that you will often be unaware – you cannot see everything that takes place. I often pray for Elisha goggles! 2 Kings 6:17 – And Elisha prayed, “O Lord, open his eyes so he may see.” Then the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha. Asking the Lord for wisdom, discernment, foresight, and processing skills is incredibly important.  Pray for these things when you encounter attack or are trying to prevent one. Never underestimate the power of asking for these things.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: attack, basement, battle, enemy, leader, ministry, pastor, prepared, students, victory, water, Youth Ministry

Juggling Rocket Ships.

October 2, 2012 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

What goes up must come down…so the saying goes. But what about the rocket ship? If it goes high enough it will reach zero gravity and stay in orbit for a long time! That ship is not coming back down unless given a force in the opposite direction in from which it came.

In ministry, don’t you wish you were juggling with rocket ships?! What some of us would give, to know that we could throw a task so high that it succeeds in flight and all we need to do is keep an eye on it, making sure the flight pattern is on the right path.

Often pastors, staff, and volunteers throw one ball up at a time just for it to come back down. One area of your ministry needs help, attention, a process – you spend hours, days and even weeks helping it succeed. Just when you think you have thrown that ball high enough you see many others speeding at you like asteroids about to hit your ministry. You have now lost focus of the one ball you spent so much time with! And very soon, it too will be speeding back at you.

I’m not here to say I have the answers to this juggling act, but rather offer some sympathy and encouragement…

I know ministry is exhausting at times, find strength in the Spirit. I understand you are frustrated, find contentment in the Gospel.  I recognize you are probably not getting the results you desire at the moment, find fulfillment and joy in being a child of God!

What are you juggling right now? Budgets, retreats, capital campaigns, small groups, recruiting leaders, meeting with students, parents, equipping volunteers, casting vision for staff, writing messages for Sunday. I’m right there with you.  So, how do I juggle these tasks? I recognize that the Spirit has given each one of my staff, leaders and volunteers a gift. I play to their strengths. You are not alone in ministry…so don’t do ministry alone!

How am I currently juggling? I try to begin with prayer, knowing that God is ultimately responsible here. “God, give me someone to oversee this check-in process.” Now you have to act! Seek out people who have a gift of hospitality – put them in charge of overseeing your greeting and check-in process. This one person can focus on the one ball of greeting. Seek out who has a gift of humor, I strongly believe God has created some people to be more funny than others…and every student ministry needs one. Have this person focus on the one ball of games. I am a partnering students with these adults in the juggling act, help share the load and feel the ownership. I would strongly discourage you from just putting anyone in a postion of coaching or ownership in an area of your ministry, make sure they are qualified, passionate about that specific area, and gifted in that way. It is better to keep looking than try to find a quick fix!

As these teams develop, you do not get a free ride. In some cases, your position becomes more difficult. You will have to learn how to explain your vision, desires, why’s and how to’s, when it comes to juggling. Hopefully, somewhere along the way you aren’t the one juggling all the balls that make up your ministry. You have gone from juggler to aircraft control tower – directing the airspace in your ministry where your rocket ships have launched and are flying high!

I am praying for all the pastors out there today who are juggling away.  I pray that God guides you to people who hold gifts and passions that your ministry needs to successfully launch!

If you are really interested in learning how to juggle, take a shot at it!

Subscribe to lifeofayouthpastor via email in the top right corner.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Church Planting, coaching, juggling, leading, ministry, pastor, prayer, recruiting, student ministry, volunteers

  • 1
  • 2
  • Next Page »

Hey there, my name is Chris. I wake up every morning thinking youth ministry. If you are in the same boat, then I know you will identify with me, because you also live the life of a youth pastor .

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Linkedin
  • Twitter

Stuff you should read

Best Bible Memory Apps
GroupMe - A safer way to text & communicate in groups.
Does failure define a leader?
5 (reasonably priced) gift ideas for small group leaders and volunteers
StuMin Survey

Here’s a book I recommend

MakeBelieve

Copyright © 2022 · Metro Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in