Life of a youth pastor .

Are you ready to plant a church?

September 17, 2012 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

Church planting has a special place in my heart; it is found in the DNA of both my home church Hill Country Bible Church and my current church, Gateway. I was a bit confused when I was asked to take a church planting survey while in my interview process. In the words of my senior pastor, “If we offer you this position I need to know that you understand church planting.” Not just this youth ministry, but almost every youth ministry and every youth pastor will experience this similar pressure at some point…to grow the ministry both spiritually and numerically. I believe that many veteran youth pastors make excellent candidates for church planting. Student ministry is full to the brim of church planting essentials: equipping people to lead, casting vision, working with budgets, hiring and leading staff, organizing serving opportunities and mission trips, leading small group movements, dedicating oneself to a weekly program of teaching and worship, the list goes on and on.

The assessment given to me was issued by ELI Church Planting. “ELI is mobilizing leaders to start new churches out of the culture – churches molded from messy people rising up out of the culture to become the Body of Christ.”

So, are you ready to plant a church? Check out ELI’s website for the free assessment and learn more about your areas of strength and needs for improvement when it comes to church planting.

One of my current reads on church planting is “Church Planter” by Darrin Patrick.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: church, church planter, Church Planting, growth, leadership, ministry, pastor, student ministry, youth pastor

Vision, start up strategies, & my volunteer handbook.

September 12, 2012 by Chris Parker 1 Comment

 

theSamePage

Where do you start in getting people on the same page? Within two months coming into my position of student pastor I quickly realized that many of my leaders had a heart for students and community. Though that might be a good thing, I also realized that the definition of student ministry and community was very different for each individual. At the same time we had just done a pancake push to recruit more leaders. With an updated roster containing more than 60 names the last thing I wanted to do was shake things up and lose leaders. I knew that clarity, direction and vision was desperately needed as we move ahead together in aligning our efforts to maximize our potential. We offered a vision lunch and 30 of our leaders showed up. Getting them on the same page, I gave them a vision statement and a student ministry handbook. While it may seem like shuffling papers at times, this stuff is a must for any ministry!

VISION. You need something short, simple, easy to remember but all encompassing to what you are about as a ministry. This vision should be a rally point for leaders and students alike. Anyone should be able to critique your programs, small groups, outreach nights, camps, retreats, etc. against your vision and see that they line up. What are you striving for in ministry? What is the end goal for your staff, leaders, volunteers, and students? Does it match your churches philosophy of ministry? I am still tweaking the statement, but this what we have landed on for now.

 Get connected to God. Get connected to people. Stay connected to both.

If we were successful in doing this as a ministry I think the end result would be an alive and thriving student ministry. The following vision of student ministry was a benchmark that was passed on to me from Bobby Pruitt, my high school youth pastor.

Student ministry is not student ministry until the student is doing ministry.

My desire would be that my leaders understand that small groups, teaching, music, and dynamic programs are all good things but these things are not the end result we are chasing after. Student ministry is not a 4-7 year sprint spiritually, crossing the finish line when the student graduates high school. We pray the individual student will be equipped to take every opportunity for the rest of their lives starting in middle school to look to the interest of others and display the attitude of Jesus, as found in Philippians 2.

STUDENT MINISTRY HANDBOOK. I think phrasing it like that sounds a bit less constrictive than a policy manual or rules to follow…but it is what it sounds like. To both our veteran leaders of 8+ years and those new leaders just expressing interest, this handbook provides in greater detail how we are going to accomplish the vision. The handbook provides the reality of expected duties that a leader will sign off on claiming they understand we are on the same page. It contains specific serving role protocol along with descriptions, requirements/expectations of  a leader/volunteer, and a section on child abuse protocol and procedure. Prior to going over sealing the deal with the handbook there is an online application they are asked to fill out that covers references and background checks. Here is a sample of our most current Student Ministry Handbook.

Here are a few things I think should be included in any handbook and discussed with any leader or volunteer serving in student ministry:

  • A welcome letter.
  • Vision statement.
  • Their involvement in a community that is encouraging their personal spiritual walk. If they aren’t being poured into how can you expect them to pour into the lives of students?
  • Age requirements of those serving. (I’ll write more on this later)
  • Meeting with and driving students.
  • Sleepovers and students at your house.
  • Romantic relationships across the board.
  • Child abuse policy and procedure.
  • Be above reproach. This is a catch all phrase, holding leaders/volunteers to a higher standard to ensure both the safety of them and the student.

Get your ministry on the same page. Give them a vision to follow and handbook to go to when questions come up or they want to know where you stand on situations that will occur in ministry. Subscribe via email to lifeofayouthpastor.com in the upper right hand corner of this page.

Filed Under: Student Ministry, Uncategorized Tagged With: church, goals, handbook, leaders, leadership, ministry, mission, stumin, vision, volunteer handbook, volunteers, youth min, Youth Ministry, youth pastor

Unpacking.

July 14, 2012 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

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It has been a busy week with no rest. From Chicago to Austin, stopping in Branson, MO doing a pre-trip for Gateway – driving a Uhaul with car in tow through the Ozarks, a 400 mile motorcycle tour through the hill country of central Texas and now a casita (small house) full of boxes staring at me. I have been busy is an understatement – but I love it! In my next few posts I’ll unroll my adventures for you that took place this past week.

A few quick lessons learned.

  • Never underestimate how much you own when moving, you have a ton…it’s a great time to craigslist and goodwill the stuff you don’t use or never knew you had.
  • Always check your car owners manual before towing it, you might need a specific trailer.
  • When renting motorcycles keep up to date with the weather…make wise choices.
  • Call on your friends and family for help when you need it, don’t be a macho man.
  • Labeling boxes specifically for rooms and the items the box contains SAVES TIME. Thanks Calla, I love you for helping keep our life organized!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: friends, ministry, motorcycles, moving, packing, road trip, unpacking, youth pastor

Celestial City Lights…

July 2, 2012 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

These are the city lights of Chicago…you can see a sprawling metropolis that goes on for miles. As my plane was doing a loop waiting for landing space at O’hare I was able to take in the city, pick out the skyline, particular buildings that were familiar to me and even cars on Lakeshore Dr.  This plane ride was very different than many before. I have made this flight at least 20 times since going to school at Moody Bible Institute and then living in Wheaton, IL. This flight was different knowing that it would be one of my last times for a while flying into Chicago, Austin will be our new place of residency. My stomach was in knots knowing that I am leaving a youth ministry I love, people I have relationships with over 6 years now, and just the thought of boxing up our life and moving south some 1,000 miles was becoming more and more of a reality. Though I am incredibly excited about this transition and the team I will be doing life with in Texas, it’s still something hard to swallow. As I sat in my seat gazing out the window over Chicago city lights, I simply prayed, “God, give me peace…reveal yourself to me.” I’m not exaggerating when I say, not even a second later I followed out a well lit highway to see this sitting right below me….

I know it’s hard to make out but this is Wheaton Bible Church….just below the really bright light (that’s a new ballpark the city just put in). Out of all the lights that make up Chicago, God allowed my eyes to see this tiny spec on the map. Though a tiny spec on the map, Wheaton Bible Church along with Gateway Church in Austin are only two of thousands upon millions of shimmering lights that make up the celestial lights in the city of God! God brought abundant peace to my soul and amazing understanding to see how He works through his church body among the nations to build up His eternal kingdom. I cannot wait to get the bird’s eye view from heaven one day to see how the global church of history past has partnered together in building up the kingdom of God…one light at a time.

Paul’s words come to mind when he is encouraging the church at Philippi …

Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the Word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.

It has become more apparent to me than ever before due to my time of transition, we all have our separate church buildings, neighborhoods, and communities that we would consider our “church” home, but let us not forget the kingdom that we all share in building together. We are all batting for the same team. Hopefully one day you can share in the bird’s eye view, today you can only live intentionally in light of that day.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: airplane, austin, chicago, Gateway Church, lights, ministry, mission, peace, prayer, transition, wheaton bible church, Youth Ministry, youth pastor

Security Deposit!

June 30, 2012 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

My wife Calla and I were scrambling to get everything out of our rental house so our landlord could do a walk through. It’s been a good little house, we will miss it. After getting the last box out on the sidewalk the landlord pulled into our drive.

Now, you must understand that we have really done them a favor by turning the Est. 1920 house into a 21st century home with some fresh paint, new counters for the kitchen, my father-in-law Kevin and I gutted and put up new drywall the bathroom…..the list really does go on and on, I like to leave things better than when I found them.

As I was talking with the landlord the previous week, I did bring up that we would hope to get the security deposit back from her after the walk through. We expected the security deposit after the walk through, and the landlord asks, “How much were you expecting to get back?” I followed up by responding with the amount that we pay monthly for rent, I knew that was what I put down for a security deposit. She answered back, “I looked back at my records, you paid last months rent up front as well, here is a check for double that amount!”

Honesty is priceless. She could have scammed us, but didn’t. She could have lied and kept a lot of money for herself, but didn’t. I know honesty between family, friends, and peers can be devastating sometimes – but the opposite is true, you can truly bless someone with your honesty. How could you be honest with someone today? Make their day and bless them with honesty.

Lessons learned…

  • Do a better job recording and documenting purchases (I like taking pictures of receipts with my phone and emailing them to myself) what do you do?
  • Honesty is the best policy…lame I know, but so true.

If you do the right thing, honesty will be your guide. But if you are crooked, you will be trapped by your own dishonesty. Proverbs 11:3

We just put down another security deposit on a little place in Texas (yes, I have made a copy of the lease and what we have paid)…it’s a guest house on someone’s land. There are longhorns walking around! No joke.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: honesty, leadership, ministry, money, moving, receipts, rental house, security deposit

The tough conversation…

June 28, 2012 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

We have all been there – knowing we need to have that tough conversation with a friend, relative or peer. The conversation is not being looked forward to because you know there will be confrontation in your conversation. As much as you would like to think that this person will eventually ‘get it’ most of the time they won’t unless you talk it out.

There have been many times in my life I have been the one confronted…and if done right, I am forever grateful! There have also been times that I have been on the other side, trying to confront someone about something…perhaps it’s an attitude, a cycle of sin, or even just feedback on how someone is leading. I think we all have been on either side of the equation and I’d like to take a moment to unfold some things to keep in mind that will help you the next time you are approached by someone with a confrontation or perhaps you need to have the tough conversation with someone else.

1. Show some humility. We are all sinners here, remember you have had your moments too! Any situation can be a learning moment, do not put yourself above the person that is calling you out – hear them out. When you sit down to have a conversation with a student, leader, or peer and want to confront them – think about where you have struggled in life, perhaps in the same areas.

2. Be quick to speak…scripture tells us not to let the sun go down if we are angry with our brother or sister in Christ. We need to talk things out –  NOT in the heat of the moment, take a breath, take a walk, talk with God first. We need to make sure we are speaking in love, not out of our sin nature in anger or hate. Have open ears to listen to the other person, but we cannot let important feedback linger. If we confront someone about a situation that took place 6 months ago, this could blur the lines of caring, urgency, and priority. If it was that important, why are you waiting until now to bring it up? Avoiding the conversation will only make things worse and furthermore show that this confrontation is not important.

3. Be honest. I know that when I’m honest with a student or leader, there might be some questions, dislike, hurt feelings, perhaps even disagreement but in the end they usually thank me for being honest. The worst thing that could happen is being honest with others about how you feel toward a particular person without being honest directly with that specific person, this is called GOSSIP! Honesty can and will complicate conversations, but it does bring us closer to the realities we are discussing and the feelings we are feeling.

4. Follow Up. I had a really tough conversation with a student a few weeks ago – it was honest, we both showed humility, and both of us saw it as a learning experience. We perceived certain things about each other that seemed to drive a wedge between us…we both perceived wrongly. It was so good to clear the air and have the tough conversation. Through tears, prayer and hug I still felt a little bit uneasy where things were left UNTIL the follow up. We briefly talked exactly a week later and I feel much better as where things stand. Tough conversations can be really hard for both the listener and the one who feels compelled to say something…let it settle in for a while. Evaluate the conversation as you have it, will this need to be re-visited? Do I need to bring in a parent or church staff member into this conversation? What would be the best way to follow up? Make it a point to tell your listener…”I’d like to follow up next week.” And do it! This shows that your truly care about them. Ask them how they are doing, ask them if they have had any thoughts on the conversation you had. If you are the listener and you think it may be needed, make sure you ask for a follow up conversation. Some things might be revealed to you that you should not respond to in the heat of the moment, let it settle…pray over the things said, do a self evaluation and perhaps seek wise counsel from someone you respect.

Though there are many things to consider, but these few things kept in mind when having a tough conversation can be extremely helpful. I know they have helped me!

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: care, Childrens Ministry, church, confrontation, conversation, follow up, honesty, humility, leadership, ministry, pastor, tough conversation, volunteer, Youth Ministry, youth pastor

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Hey there, my name is Chris. I wake up every morning thinking youth ministry. If you are in the same boat, then I know you will identify with me, because you also live the life of a youth pastor .

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