The guest group. WIN! WIN! WIN!

March 14, 2014 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

The picture you see here was our guest group last week. At our program we always start as a large group and then break out into small groups.

When everyone breaks for small groups, we invite all guests and the friend that brought them to hang around for the guest group. We make it special, offering ice cream… what would you do for a Klondike bar? Go to guest group!

After the guest attends the guest group at least twice, and they want to continue showing up to the program, I transition them into a small group. This will eliminate those who just visit once or are unsure if they want to participate in your church program. It is difficult for the small group leaders to gain traction when new students are popping in all the time. Here’s the other really cool part, I encourage the student pastor to host the guest group. I get to meet every student that comes through the door this way, they hear our vision for them being here, and they don’t feel invisible or glanced over! WIN! WIN! WIN!

I host the guest group in the large group space. This eliminates transition time or having your guest adjust to another room or setting. Asking easy generic questions is the way to go. Keep things surface level, share the vision of your ministry and what you hope to offer them, perhaps ask one or two questions pertaining to the message.

What do you offer your guests?

Creating & Maintaining a Visitor Follow-Up Process (DIY4.10)

April 21, 2013 by Chris Parker 2 Comments

This is in response to a former article I wrote on DIY Student Ministry. This is the fourth of ten areas that I’m covering in this series.

A new student walks into your room on a Sunday morning…better yet, do they? Thousands of students every year go unnoticed or aren’t given the opportunity to even make it to the threshold of the youth room. Many churches forfeit their opportunity to welcome the student by lack of promoting and advertising the time and location in which students meet. Let’s face it, the day of parents dropping off their teenager at the door is coming to a close; unless the teenager themselves can find out when and where you are meeting, then you just lost many potential students. Where are your signs? Are your meeting times and info on the church website, how about social media? I’d love to discuss on how to better encourage the number of visitors to your program but first I would find it incredibly important that a solid foundation is in place for welcoming the visitor.

It’s music to the student pastor’s ears when they hear, “We had 10 visitors today!”…that’s great, but the question I would silently ask myself would be…”Are they coming back?” Understanding that you hold some responsibility on whether or not a visitor returns is a huge deal! Do you have the pressure from your church to “grow” your youth group size numerically? Well, have you considered that the only way to grow your youth group numerically is through new attendees (visitors that come back)? This shows just how important a visitor follow-up process can be.

My Visitor Checklist:

Did you get their contact information?
Did you give them a gift in exchange, thanking them for coming?
Did you connect them with someone they can identify with: school, grade, hobby?
Did you personalize a follow-up step? Phone call, post card, gift drop, etc.
Did you connect with the parents?

If zero of these things happen, the likelihood of this student returning is slim to none. However, each step improves your chances of seeing that student again…if you complete all 5 steps I estimate you have a 60-70% chance of seeing that student again, especially if they do not have a church home and enjoyed their time. I helped restart and improve this process in my new role at Gateway Church, but this is not something I do on my own. Striving to get away from a DIY SM, I have invited others into this process that can be far more welcoming and do a better job at maintaining our process. Knowing the next teen that walks through my door could experience life change forever and a relationship with Jesus Christ – partly because we were faithful to help them get connected and stay connected, now that’s a reason to get excited about a visitor follow-up process! (theology disclaimer: We take no credit for their salvation, but would like to think our faithfulness to this kind of process is God gracing us and allowing us partner with Him when it comes to seeing life change!)

I recommend the book Fusion. This doesn’t directly apply to student ministry but many of the follow-up methods can be repurposed for welcoming teenagers.

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You only have 7 minutes!

November 24, 2012 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

I remember like it was yesterday…there were donuts, good donuts. And there were people with smiles. We played a game that seemed like semi-organized chaos, boys were throwing crumpled up paper at the girls and the girls were throwing them back at us. I don’t remember a single word the youth pastor said, actually I don’t even remember the youth pastor. One thing is for sure though, I felt welcomed and I wanted to go back. That was 7th grade at the church I grew up at. I had entered the youth group and I didn’t want to leave…and I didn’t, I stuck with it on a weekly basis through graduation of high school. All of those feelings of awkwardness, not belonging or people staring at that pimple on my forehead went away. I was in a place where I felt accepted immediately and had an all access pass to friends, leaders and my youth pastor.

Now I’m the youth pastor and I see an average of 5 guests a week… I want them to get connected and stay connected to God and others. How many guest do you see on a weekly basis? How do you make them feel welcomed? Do they come back?

“Seven minutes is all you get to make a positive first impression. In the first seven minutes of contact with your church, your first-time guests will know whether or not they are coming back. That’s before a single worship song is sung and before a single word of the message is uttered.” – Fusion

Fusion has helped me work through some of my “assimilation process” as I strive to make our visitors noticed, welcomed and always invited back to be a part of our group.

As staff, we do an okay job of getting students checked-in, giving them a gift and getting their information. However, I feel like that’s where it starts to unravel. We will call the cell phone number, leave a facebook message…but follow up for students is just down right hard.

FOLLOW UP!
Giving the students a gift or having them fill out an info card is the easy part. Following up and keeping that system alive is tough! What does your follow up process look like? How do you manage it and keep it fresh for students?

The tough conversation…

June 28, 2012 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

We have all been there – knowing we need to have that tough conversation with a friend, relative or peer. The conversation is not being looked forward to because you know there will be confrontation in your conversation. As much as you would like to think that this person will eventually ‘get it’ most of the time they won’t unless you talk it out.

There have been many times in my life I have been the one confronted…and if done right, I am forever grateful! There have also been times that I have been on the other side, trying to confront someone about something…perhaps it’s an attitude, a cycle of sin, or even just feedback on how someone is leading. I think we all have been on either side of the equation and I’d like to take a moment to unfold some things to keep in mind that will help you the next time you are approached by someone with a confrontation or perhaps you need to have the tough conversation with someone else.

1. Show some humility. We are all sinners here, remember you have had your moments too! Any situation can be a learning moment, do not put yourself above the person that is calling you out – hear them out. When you sit down to have a conversation with a student, leader, or peer and want to confront them – think about where you have struggled in life, perhaps in the same areas.

2. Be quick to speak…scripture tells us not to let the sun go down if we are angry with our brother or sister in Christ. We need to talk things out – NOT in the heat of the moment, take a breath, take a walk, talk with God first. We need to make sure we are speaking in love, not out of our sin nature in anger or hate. Have open ears to listen to the other person, but we cannot let important feedback linger. If we confront someone about a situation that took place 6 months ago, this could blur the lines of caring, urgency, and priority. If it was that important, why are you waiting until now to bring it up? Avoiding the conversation will only make things worse and furthermore show that this confrontation is not important.

3. Be honest. I know that when I’m honest with a student or leader, there might be some questions, dislike, hurt feelings, perhaps even disagreement but in the end they usually thank me for being honest. The worst thing that could happen is being honest with others about how you feel toward a particular person without being honest directly with that specific person, this is called GOSSIP! Honesty can and will complicate conversations, but it does bring us closer to the realities we are discussing and the feelings we are feeling.

4. Follow Up. I had a really tough conversation with a student a few weeks ago – it was honest, we both showed humility, and both of us saw it as a learning experience. We perceived certain things about each other that seemed to drive a wedge between us…we both perceived wrongly. It was so good to clear the air and have the tough conversation. Through tears, prayer and hug I still felt a little bit uneasy where things were left UNTIL the follow up. We briefly talked exactly a week later and I feel much better as where things stand. Tough conversations can be really hard for both the listener and the one who feels compelled to say something…let it settle in for a while. Evaluate the conversation as you have it, will this need to be re-visited? Do I need to bring in a parent or church staff member into this conversation? What would be the best way to follow up? Make it a point to tell your listener…”I’d like to follow up next week.” And do it! This shows that your truly care about them. Ask them how they are doing, ask them if they have had any thoughts on the conversation you had. If you are the listener and you think it may be needed, make sure you ask for a follow up conversation. Some things might be revealed to you that you should not respond to in the heat of the moment, let it settle…pray over the things said, do a self evaluation and perhaps seek wise counsel from someone you respect.

Though there are many things to consider, but these few things kept in mind when having a tough conversation can be extremely helpful. I know they have helped me!

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