Recently I watched a documentary on forest fires within Yellowstone, reminding me what I had seen first hand last summer. The charred and barren spots within the park remind us that fires can be damaging or beneficial, sometimes both. This all depends on where the fire begins, the duration of the fire, and the one fighting the fire.
Ministry can often feel like you are playing the role of a fire fighter, and many times it can feel lonely. [Read more…]
This is in response to a former article I wrote on DIY Student Ministry. This is the ninth of ten areas that I’m covering in this series.
Nothing says, “I want to be in your world” more than a visit to the student’s school. Whether it be for lunch in the cafeteria or sitting in the student section at a football game – when you approach the school you approach where they do most of their life. Now before I get into this, we must make an observation…some schools are open and some are closed, meaning some schools will let you and your volunteers into the building for lunch with your students while others will not. There are some loopholes. Some campuses would like to make you think they are closed…start asking questions of where they need help or how you can meet with an individual student. The administration may start by asking you to fill out a volunteer application or have a written letter on file from the parent of the student you are meeting with.
When you get into a student’s world at school, you will better understand the crowd you are trying to reach on a weekly basis. If you lose touch of this, you diminish your effectiveness as a student pastor. You might as well be teaching an empty hallway.
When I was in Chicago the campuses were closed but I was able to apply for a mentor program that allowed me to get on campus and meet with students that needed help thinking through the process of going to college. This allowed me to see some of my students but also meet students I didn’t already know.
Here in Austin it’s a little bit of both, it’s actually not even consistent within each school district. I had a regular habit of visiting the closest school this semester until things got ridiculously busy. One thing I quickly discovered was that my HS group of 60 students represented 16 different high schools in the Austin area. Knowing that I barely had the time to visit one school, I knew that do-it-yourself student ministry would not have the impact that these students and schools needed from the church. I currently have one HS volunteer visiting (going through the application process) the school I was visiting and one MS volunteer visiting a MS just down the road. Slowly but surely I hope to get more of my leaders and volunteers to help build the bridge between the church and school.
Here are some ways to get started:
How have you made a presence on your school campus? What is your success story of partnering with a local school?
This is in response to a former article I wrote on DIY Student Ministry. This is the ninth of ten areas that I’m covering in this series.
This is in response to a former article I wrote on DIY Student Ministry. This is the eighth of ten areas that I’m covering in this series.
I’ll make this one short and sweet. You don’t need to do all of the shopping for your ministry. There are plenty of leaders and parents out there that are willing to swing by the store for you, just ask. Get away from do-it-yourself student ministry by delegating to others, allowing them to be a piece in the process of pulling your program or event together. Bringing others into your supply run outings can bring great benefits.
ALWAYS
IDEAS
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Wishing I could have a friendship with each and every student in my ministry is not realistic. Youth pastors are sometimes accused of having a few favorites, taking a special interest in a handful of students and hanging out with them all the time. And while that may be true, the greater truth is that when it comes to 100+ students, you can hardly remember all the names and say “Hi” to each of them on a Sunday morning. Students need more than just a “Hi” each week. Students need someone that is intentionally and consistently investing in their life, taking special interest in their spiritual development as they explore God and mature in their faith journey. I suppose someone needs to play favorites after all, it shouldn’t be solely the role of the youth pastor.
Programs are great teaching moments and momentum boosters, but authentic relationships is the glue of ministry – it keeps people together.
What’s my youth year resolution? In 2013 I plan to launch a small group movement for both middle school and high school students at my church. Connecting a student to an adult that is demonstrating an authentic relationship with God will benefit a student’s growth far more than any program. Life on life discipleship is not a new invention nor will it expire, this is what Jesus displayed for us. He did life with 12 men. He traveled with them, stayed up late with them, explored cities with them, went on camping trips with them, went hiking with them, went sailing with them…talked life with them, spoke truth to them, asked them the hard questions. There is no doubt according to scripture that these were monumental moments for the 12, that’s why we have them in writing.
Your leaders/volunteers may not be Jesus, but they do have the time to spend with students. How will they spend this time? How will they lead their group? What kind of adventures will they go on? Imagine how much impact a Christ following adult could have on 12 teenage lives.
Though I aspire to launch a small group movement for students, it begins with my leaders. Offer a small group or multiple small groups for your leaders – period. This not only helps in laying a foundation for students, but you can better grasp understanding of where they are at in their relationship with God and others. Seeing your leadership in a small group setting on a regular basis will hopefully be reflected in the way that they lead their small group.
Equipping them is key, find multiple ways to make this happen:
A few books to consider when initiating or developing a small group movement:
Now your speaking my language…hot pancakes. I’m not really a sucker for pancakes, but free hot food? Heck ya! Yesterday the student ministry at Gateway went through dozens of pancakes, probably a few hundred. Why? A touchdown had literally just been handed to us and I wanted to go for 2 rather than settle for a field goal. Let me explain. Gateway has done a phenomenal job of making me and my wife feel welcome to the church. This weekend we were introduced to 300+ volunteers and leaders at a conference and then again in all Sunday morning services yesterday, TOUCHDOWN! While we could have simply just expressed our gratitude we took this opportunity to welcome others!
“Come and eat pancakes with us after the service!”
We invited parents to meet us after service while also putting the ask out to anyone who may have the interest in serving students. What did we get in return? We have 22 brand new contacts that have expressed interest in serving students!
What did it take to make this happen?
The BIG idea: Do something out of the ordinary that involves free food and an opportunity to show others how they can get involved in your ministry!
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We have all been there – knowing we need to have that tough conversation with a friend, relative or peer. The conversation is not being looked forward to because you know there will be confrontation in your conversation. As much as you would like to think that this person will eventually ‘get it’ most of the time they won’t unless you talk it out.
There have been many times in my life I have been the one confronted…and if done right, I am forever grateful! There have also been times that I have been on the other side, trying to confront someone about something…perhaps it’s an attitude, a cycle of sin, or even just feedback on how someone is leading. I think we all have been on either side of the equation and I’d like to take a moment to unfold some things to keep in mind that will help you the next time you are approached by someone with a confrontation or perhaps you need to have the tough conversation with someone else.
1. Show some humility. We are all sinners here, remember you have had your moments too! Any situation can be a learning moment, do not put yourself above the person that is calling you out – hear them out. When you sit down to have a conversation with a student, leader, or peer and want to confront them – think about where you have struggled in life, perhaps in the same areas.
2. Be quick to speak…scripture tells us not to let the sun go down if we are angry with our brother or sister in Christ. We need to talk things out – NOT in the heat of the moment, take a breath, take a walk, talk with God first. We need to make sure we are speaking in love, not out of our sin nature in anger or hate. Have open ears to listen to the other person, but we cannot let important feedback linger. If we confront someone about a situation that took place 6 months ago, this could blur the lines of caring, urgency, and priority. If it was that important, why are you waiting until now to bring it up? Avoiding the conversation will only make things worse and furthermore show that this confrontation is not important.
3. Be honest. I know that when I’m honest with a student or leader, there might be some questions, dislike, hurt feelings, perhaps even disagreement but in the end they usually thank me for being honest. The worst thing that could happen is being honest with others about how you feel toward a particular person without being honest directly with that specific person, this is called GOSSIP! Honesty can and will complicate conversations, but it does bring us closer to the realities we are discussing and the feelings we are feeling.
4. Follow Up. I had a really tough conversation with a student a few weeks ago – it was honest, we both showed humility, and both of us saw it as a learning experience. We perceived certain things about each other that seemed to drive a wedge between us…we both perceived wrongly. It was so good to clear the air and have the tough conversation. Through tears, prayer and hug I still felt a little bit uneasy where things were left UNTIL the follow up. We briefly talked exactly a week later and I feel much better as where things stand. Tough conversations can be really hard for both the listener and the one who feels compelled to say something…let it settle in for a while. Evaluate the conversation as you have it, will this need to be re-visited? Do I need to bring in a parent or church staff member into this conversation? What would be the best way to follow up? Make it a point to tell your listener…”I’d like to follow up next week.” And do it! This shows that your truly care about them. Ask them how they are doing, ask them if they have had any thoughts on the conversation you had. If you are the listener and you think it may be needed, make sure you ask for a follow up conversation. Some things might be revealed to you that you should not respond to in the heat of the moment, let it settle…pray over the things said, do a self evaluation and perhaps seek wise counsel from someone you respect.
Though there are many things to consider, but these few things kept in mind when having a tough conversation can be extremely helpful. I know they have helped me!
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