Life of a youth pastor .

Retreat Research DIY(6.10)

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research-studies_000

This is in response to a former article I wrote on DIY Student Ministry. This is the sixth of ten areas that I’m covering in this series.

Thank God, literally…that He has created and designed other people in my ministry to be more organized and administrative than myself. When it comes down to nitty gritty details, planning, gathering information, keeping it organized, etc. I go a little bit off the deep end. I love details but usually have a hard time organizing them if they don’t have my full attention, and let’s be honest, if you are a student pastor – you can hardly ever give one thing your full attention.

Maybe you have been to the same camp year after year…or go on the same mission trip summer after summer. Have you ever considered something different? Is there a better location for your money? For your time? Have you taken the time research or better yet have someone else research for you? Get away from DIY student ministry by finding the leader or volunteer in your ministry that is type A, has a clean and organized home, gets a high off of details…you know what kind of person I’m talking about, this could even be a parent in your ministry. Promote them to be the chief researcher for your ministry. This person could be beneficial for you in a number of ways, researching numbers, growth, school calendars, best time for retreats, mission trips, locations, lodging, transportation.

Retreat Research. When it comes to a retreat, camp or mission trip there are a many things that cannot go unseen. I want to know all the details, and usually want to hear an alternate option for each one…I like options, it helps me make better decisions.

  • Location. How far away is this place? Just because you have been at the same camp for 8 years doesn’t mean their isn’t a better option, don’t let this blind you from having an even better experience.
  • Transportation. What is the most economical? Plane, Charter bus, school bus, 12 passenger vans, SUVs, carpool. I’ve done them all, each of them have their pros and cons.
  • Lodging. Paying for lodging is not the only option. I have been in multiple situations where lodging has been provided for free, the organization appreciates what we are doing for the community – as a thank you they will let you use their facility. I have stayed in high schools (use their gyms for sleeping quarters), YMCA’s, and even colleges. When it comes to staying in hotels…I always try to get adjoining rooms, with two leaders per room for the safety and accountability factor.
  • Food. The dollar menu can be your best friend! It’s not the healthiest food, but when you are in a bind on a trip or need to make a quick stop…find two or three fast food options for students and give them 45 minutes. (Call ahead! McDonalds will love you for it, if you give them an ETA so they can prepared ahead of time…this could get you in and out of the restaurant faster) They will love you for it. Buy lunch meat, PBJ, and a variety of bread – have them make their own sandwich – this is a cheaper/healthier option but requires some additional set up.
  • Pre-trip. Whether it be for camp or for a mission trip I find it imperative to see it for myself before taking a group of students with me or sending them with someone else. I look at things from a risk-management perspective (anything that could go wrong, prepare for the worst) I need plan B’s and rainy day schedules in my back pocket, this is hard to do if you have never been to the location. This also helps you gain a perspective of reality rather than just looking at the numbers on paper or exploring the computer screen. Some things you think are great ideas will soon fizzle away once you step into reality.
  • Process. Students don’t just show up the day of and you go on your trip. There is a huge process that takes place before this. Collecting registration forms, money, liability releases, etc. If you are doing this all on your own I think  you are making a mistake, find someone to help you or delegate to someone else. Brainstorm how you can make this process easier and quicker for everyone involved. The harder your process, the harder it is on your team, and families who are signing up. It’s 2013 people, let’s get creative – use the technology thats been given to you.
  • Think outside the box. Get a new camp speaker, switch up the location, do a hybrid camp/mission trip. You might discover something new!

This is in response to a former article I wrote on DIY Student Ministry. This is the sixth of ten areas that I’m covering in this series.

Leveraging Social Media! (DIY5.10)

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InstagramLogo

This is in response to a former article I wrote on DIY Student Ministry. This is the fifth of ten areas that I’m covering in this series.

If you know anything about students, you know how much they value social media. It’s where they connect with each other. Whether it be through pictures, text, or video…long gone are the days that the student actually calls a friend to have a phone conversation or shows up on their front door step to play outside on a Saturday. Their turf is digital and it’s glued to their hand. We know in student ministry that we cannot always expect the student especially the unchurched to come to us, our church building. We need to go to them, and meet them on their turf. Showing up at their game or at school for lunch has amazing impact, and that’s physically getting on their turf and into their world – you should do it. The next best thing is to get where they are at through social media. “Follow, Like, Friend”…your students on facebook, twitter, instagram, vine, etc. Paul said, “I became all things to all people…that I might win some for Christ.” For students this means to think like a student and interact with students on their level – through their means of communication.

Leverage Social Media for your ministry:

  • This can pay huge dividends for your ministry when it comes to communication, don’t feel like you have to be the one to own it, give it away to another student or volunteer. Get away from the DIY model.
  • Use facebook as a homepage. Create a cover photo to match each series or to promote upcoming events. Create something to scale using photoshop (851×315)
  • Build your presence on Instagram. I printed a 4’x4′ canvas with the app logo that hangs in our student space. You can’t help but notice it. We have also had Instagram scavenger hunts, this builds your audience because your students are promoting for you amongst their friends! In 5 months we have reached over 200 students and their friends.
  • Find out what other social media is hot for your students, trends tend to come in waves depending on your geography. While twitter might be popular among one crowd, vine might be popular among another.
  • Interesting fact: It seems most of my HS students have or use facebook…almost none of my MS students do. For this reason it’s important to diversify your social media to extend your reach.
  • Posting at least 3 times a week is a good average. One silly picture, one reminder about programs, and one of students hanging out, playing games, band rocking out, etc.

“But what if I see students interacting or communicating in a way that I don’t approve of?” It will happen, more than once. I have bumped into many unsettling, even disturbing facebook posts, instagram photos and even text messages. First and foremost, consider social media an education piece. You will learn more about the student culture through social media than you could through having a conversation with a student. Why? They aren’t afraid to speak their mind on social media. It must be a psychological mishap, but for some reason students either think they can post something and no one cares, or our teen culture has evolved to such an inappropriate level that bad words, lack of clothing and bullying are just the norm of social media.

So should you engage a student in conversation if you see something like this? It depends on the student, and it depends on the content.

For example, let’s pretend I have one student “Suzie” that frequents church and is somewhat engaged with our student ministry – she posts on facebook “Can’t wait for the party after prom!” I have another student that is unchurched, “Jessica” has only visited twice and I haven’t seen her in a while, I follow her on Instagram and it seems that she had quite the party last night according to the picture #partygirl #allnight #wasted. Both show up to church the next morning. To both of these girls I think you could say something. To Suzie, you could ask more of a leading question to find out more about this party and help her better understand what ambiguity on social media can do to your reputation…I have had this conversation with multiple students, I really think they are ignorant sometimes.  To Jessica, do everything except confront her on her behavior. BE CAREFUL HERE…DO NOT RUN HER DOWN OR MAKE HER FEEL GUILTY – THIS DOES NOT PROVIDE THE WELCOMING FACTOR FOR A STUDENT. Tell her that you are so glad to see her and excited that she chose to come to church. As you or other leaders build trust, then consider making a soft approach to the party life by first talking about how much you care for them. I have seen too many students walk away from church because they feel judged – if you are following students on social media and only point out the bad behavior, your chances of seeing them again are slim. Like or comment on the good stuff you see to show your encouragement toward better behavior.

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Detouring to Celebrate Faith.

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detour

Though I don’t fly back to Texas until Saturday, today I leave Atlanta.

I got the call while on a small putting green out behind the hotel I’m staying at…my mom had called and told me that he had taken his last breathes. It’s so strange when you get news like this. You will never forget where you where, what you were doing, the weather and time of day. The news of death, that moment, seems to be frozen in time.

I’m driving 4 hours west to attend my grandfather’s funeral in north Alabama. He went to be with Jesus this week at the age of 87. I am grateful to be nearby so that I can be there for my dad and his family during a difficult time. Losing a loved one is never convenient nor easy. Though I wish the circumstances of my visit with family were different there is an amazing swell of hope in the air. My grandfather – James Clifton Parker knew the grace of God by placing his faith in the person of Jesus Christ. He now celebrates the eternal detour of a sinful world into the everlasting glory of God.

Many thoughts come to mind when one grieves the loss of someone. One particular thought I’d like to expound on…”It just doesn’t feel right.”

It’s not. We were not created to observe or experience death. We were created to experience life and life to the fullest. (John 10:10)  This is what God had planned for Adam and Eve, life to the fullest in garden…complete unity with God. But the former part of John 10:10 became a reality rather quickly, “The thief (Satan) comes to steal, kill and destroy.” Because Adam and Eve fell to selfish desires and the enemy’s schemes we now live in a world that experiences the consequences and ugliness of sin, our rebellion against God. One of these curses is a short physical life numbered by years. Though this is the case and unfortunate for us to experience, there is great news! Despite our rebellion God pursued us, His creation throughout history, ultimately giving up His one and only son so that we could be reunited with God, our creator. One of God’s greatest mercies is that He does give us the life intended for us in the garden, life to the fullest. For now we deal with a broken world ridden with death, but remember “He makes all things new.” (Rev. 21:5) Having a relationship with God here and now is just the pre-game show for what’s to come in eternity.

I’m looking forward to celebrating the life of my grandfather this weekend.

#OC13 The Good Stuff!

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photo (16)A zombie tap-dancing pirate, the orange-man-group beating on trashcans, and Annie belting out “the sun will come out tomorrow!” …and then DC Talk walks out to a balloon drop resurrecting the old school song “Time is ticking away” this pre-game show has been incredible!

Gwinnett Arena – Atlanta, GA. The seats are filling up with #kidmin and #stumin staff and volunteers for Orange 2013. Though this is the first main session, the day has already been packed with multiple breakouts and pre-conference gatherings. I have learned quickly that if you do not get out of your comfort zone a little bit and network at conferences then you are making a big mistake. It has been a joy to meet others in the same profession, bearing the same burdens, experiencing the same trials and joys of student ministry.

One of my favorite conversations thus far was with Carey Nieuwhof, I have been reading his book “Leading Change Without Losing It“. Being at a new church, leading through lots of change this book has been a #1 confidence builder. I thanked Carey for writing the book and was excited to hear that he is working on part two of three books. One of the things we talked about was how important it is to build trust during a season of change.

I’m sure I don’t have it with every one of my volunteers and students, but I do try hard to earn it. What does this look like? Do life with them. Church and student ministry is important but you don’t have to talk about it all the time. Taking interest in someone’s life, not their role or history in your ministry, can help build bridges of trust. Try going out for a meal and any time discussion about ministry or church comes up try to re-direct it to more of a personal conversation (family, hobbies, their history).

Creating & Maintaining a Visitor Follow-Up Process (DIY4.10)

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welcome This is in response to a former article I wrote on DIY Student Ministry. This is the fourth of ten areas that I’m covering in this series.

A new student walks into your room on a Sunday morning…better yet, do they? Thousands of students every year go unnoticed or aren’t given the opportunity to even make it to the threshold of the youth room. Many churches forfeit their opportunity to welcome the student by lack of promoting and advertising the time and location in which students meet. Let’s face it, the day of parents dropping off their teenager at the door is coming to a close; unless the teenager themselves can find out when and where you are meeting, then you just lost many potential students. Where are your signs? Are your meeting times and info on the church website, how about social media? I’d love to discuss on how to better encourage the number of visitors to your program but first I would find it incredibly important that a solid foundation is in place for welcoming the visitor.

It’s music to the student pastor’s ears when they hear, “We had 10 visitors today!”…that’s great, but the question I would silently ask myself would be…”Are they coming back?” Understanding that you hold some responsibility on whether or not a visitor returns is a huge deal! Do you have the pressure from your church to “grow” your youth group size numerically? Well, have you considered that the only way to grow your youth group numerically is through new attendees (visitors that come back)? This shows just how important a visitor follow-up process can be.

My Visitor Checklist:

  • Did you get their contact information?
  • Did you give them a gift in exchange, thanking them for coming?
  • Did you connect them with someone they can identify with: school, grade, hobby?
  • Did you personalize a follow-up step? Phone call, post card, gift drop, etc.
  • Did you connect with the parents?

If zero of these things happen, the likelihood of this student returning is slim to none. However, each step improves your chances of seeing that student again…if you complete all 5 steps I estimate you have a 60-70% chance of seeing that student again, especially if they do not have a church home and enjoyed their time. I helped restart and improve this process in my new role at Gateway Church, but this is not something I do on my own. Striving to get away from a DIY SM, I have invited others into this process that can be far more welcoming and do a better job at maintaining our process. Knowing the next teen that walks through my door could experience life change forever and a relationship with Jesus Christ – partly because we were faithful to help them get connected and stay connected, now that’s a reason to get excited about a visitor follow-up process! (theology disclaimer: We take no credit for their salvation, but would like to think our faithfulness to this kind of process is God gracing us and allowing us partner with Him when it comes to seeing life change!)

I recommend the book Fusion. This doesn’t directly apply to student ministry but many of the follow-up methods can be repurposed for welcoming teenagers.

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Packin’ my bags for OC 2013!

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orangesuitcaseReady or not Atlanta, here I come for a full 7 days! It’s been 4 years since I last went to the Orange conference, it was actually my first conference as a full-time student pastor. The people over at Orange will constantly say, “it’s not just about a curriculum, it’s a strategy”…

“What if church leaders and parents synchronized their efforts to fuel wonder, discovery and passion in the next generation?” By combining the critical influences of the light of the church (yellow) and the love of the family (red) the Orange Strategy shows a generation who God is more effectively than either could alone.

I am constantly convicted that as student pastors we must aim at equipping, empowering and hold accountable our parent relationships. There is no doubt that the best disciple of the student can be mom or dad, but without encouragement, training and partnering with the local church, how effective can the family be? I know there can be a lot of tension around this conversation, but what I am seriously pumped up about is that Orange is tackling this conversation from multiple angles – small groups, age-appropriate questions, stuff for at home, equipping volunteers and lay-leaders in the church, etc.

After having met the HS pastor for Northpoint (Kevin Ragsdale) at the Orange Tour in Dallas, I am really excited about the kind of ministry he is running in Atlanta. I love large-group environments that funnel into small-groups later in the program. This is a huge win for both students and leaders alike. I’m checking out his ministry this Sunday and hope to learn some new things that could be implemented where I am currently doing ministry.

What else am I looking forward to at Orange 2013?

  • Blogger’s Lounge – apparently Kenny over at childrensministryonline.com is getting me into the box seats. Right Kenny?! 🙂
  • Meeting up with old friends and making new ones. If you are headed to Atlanta too, I’d love to get together for a meal or coffee and talk shop! Contact me and we can set up a time.
  • I’m signed up to attend and learn from the following breakout sessions:
    • Leading You: The Art of Self Leadership
    • NextGen Ministry Leadership: Leading 360 Degrees
    • Understanding the Middle School Mind
    • Orange Interactive: Student Ministry
    • 10 Things I do to Learn, Lead and Network with Others
    • Casting the Vision Daily to Keep Everyone Aligned
    • Crafting Life-Changing Messages for Teenagers
    • Evaluating a Lead Small Experience
  • I think one night I will need to go and see Oblivion, can’t wait, the movie trailers are a tease!

Stage and space design! (DIY3.10)

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stagedesignThis is in response to a former article I wrote on DIY Student Ministry. This is the third of ten areas that I’m covering in this series.

Being an artist at heart, I become very picky about how things look. My leaders and volunteers would be the first to tell you that if I don’t like the way something looks, I have no problem voicing that concern and/or adjusting it myself. I probably slave over the dreams of stage design too much, but feel that I have settled for an adequate stage design that can be slowly improved over time. For a particular series or event I have been guilty of spending entire days setting up rooms, stages, adjusting lighting, etc. I will have a vision in mind and just can’t seem to walk away until that vision begins to come to life. For those of you who don’t have your own space for students, I get it. None of churches I have worked/interned for have had a designated student building. While the student ministry may frequent the space the most often, the room is usually shared with other ministries in the church. With this in mind, you can’t go over the top being student friendly by making permanent changes to walls or staging. So how can you make the most of your stage/student space?

Before I share some tips and tricks I’ve learned over the past few years, I would encourage you to recruit a stage designer and interior designer, perhaps even a construction crew of dad’s (they love this stuff!). Having a stage designer for each one of your series can constantly bring that “new” feeling to an area – this also gets you away from the DIY SM concept. My stage designer is quite crafty and thrifty making the most of products so we can have a dynamic yet cost effective display. She is good about re-using and re-purposing products to get extended use out of them.

Tips & Tricks:

  • Make the most of your lighting! Get away from those hideous fluorescent lights and install some floor lamps, pars, and LEDs. LEDs can totally change the mood of a room…use a deep blue at the back of your stage to make it look bigger. Custom laser etched gobos can bring a “student owned” feel to your room even if it’s not your space. When you’re not in the room simply turn it off.
  • Using foam core, or white stretching fabric to make shapes and designs you can light up with LEDs.
  • Do you have an ugly background? Use pipe and black drape.
  • Rather than decking out the entire stage for a series, use a designated location. We “decorate” a 4’x8′ section of the room for each series and light it up. This allows us to give it our best shot in a smaller area…this is more cost effective and is easier to change over every couple of weeks.
  • Go digital. If you have a projector, use it! Our screen is the focal point of the stage…we using looping graphics and videos that go with the current series. This helps tie everything together in an entertaining way. If you have the money in your budget to upgrade to a brighter or higher resolution projector – it’s worth it.
  • Create multiple levels for your stage. You can do this in the construction of your stage or by using risers. If you use risers, throw an LED underneath, it can look pretty cool.
  • Experiment with student seating…on the ground, in chairs, or find some cool retro rugs. Considering how big or small your space is, you might be limited to your options.
  • Use a large TV as an external secondary monitor for rolling announcements and reminders. (this is a next step for our area)
  • Did I mention how much lighting can make a difference in your space? 🙂
  • Remember…you’re not in this alone, get others to help and actually own this!

What’s your advice on a student space/stage?

Game Over! (DIY2.10)

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gameover

This is in response to a former article I wrote on DIY Student Ministry. This is the second of ten areas that I’m covering in this series.

Once again you find yourself trying to transition from a messy game to a serious message. As you wipe the shaving cream off your hands you ask the student’s to bow their heads and pray with you. As you disconnect your mind from your prayer…you begin drifting into thinking about how much time you spent on that game, how hard it was to set up and realize that you invested so much more time into the fun factor of the program rather than preparing a message that students can relate to…as you say Amen, you think “Well, here goes nothing.”

I’m have been guilty of this more than once. Some could blame procrastination or a lack of creativity, but games for students can be down right hard! Planning, preparing and executing games for a program takes time, thought and energy. Though you can probably do both the teaching and games…DON’T DO IT! Sometimes this can come down to a trust issue, “They can’t do games the way I do games.” “They don’t understand all the logistics that go into a group game for 100 students.” “This volunteer is not capable of putting on the fun hat and really getting the students out of their comfort zone.” While all of this can be true, you need to teach them. Lead your leaders to be great at games. Share the burden of the program with other dedicated volunteers and get away from doing both games and teaching. You can be good at both, but better at one when you empower someone else to own the other. Doing this will only help you get away from a DIY student ministry.

With that being said, I’d ask you to consider your student ministry philosophy of the program. What’s the purpose of a program? What’s the purpose of the game? Is it essential that I have a game in every program? These are some good questions to ask.

A few ideas when it comes to games:

  • What leaders come to mind when you think games? Who can be recruited, trained, and own this?
  • Have a night without the game, do something different.
  • Flip that around and have a night of programming that is just fun and games.
  • Don’t give away a prize every time someone wins, this can get expensive! Let them just have the satisfaction of winning.
  • Do a current inventory on all supplies, what can you use for games, what needs to be tossed?
  • Have a healthy mix of both up front games and group games.
  • Messy games are memorable games.
  • Practice communicating the game with fellow staff members before an audience of students, asking them, “Does this make sense?”

Ready your room! (DIY1.10)

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chairs

This is in response to a former article I wrote on DIY Student Ministry. This is the first of ten areas that I’m covering in this series.

It’s Sunday morning and students start pouring into your room for the program. The lights are stuck on some weird pink color, the woofer is pumping so loud that the gray haired people are coming and asking you to turn it down, and for whatever reason that projector keeps flashing “replace bulb”. So what do you do? Well, this isn’t the first Sunday all of this has happened, its actually a rut you find yourself in and you carry on like usual and yet somehow seem to “make it work” for your students and leaders.

I know the feeling all too well, this has happened to me in multiple environments and I’ve seen many student pastors fall victim to a room that is not functioning properly for them. Here’s the good news, this is not a DIY project! There is an army of students, parents, technicians, other staff, leaders, volunteers that are willing to help. Here is the secret of all secrets, “MAKE THE ASK!” Letting down your pride and letting others into your problem areas can only help the process get better, misery loves company right?! But seriously, you need to move away from these items so that you can connect with people.

Here are a few simple truths or common practices that have helped me:

  • Turn that music on! Music seems to make any set up better, whether you are rushed for time or not.
  • Setting up chairs. Don’t do this alone, there are too many people to help. Don’t waste your time.
  • Get off the ladder, and away from “isolation” projects. You need to be connecting with people.
  • If you are handcuffed to the sound booth, you just built a wall (literally) between you and the people you need to be connecting with. Think outside this box.
  • Students can run slides, cameras, lights, and even sound sometimes. They just need someone to invite them into the process, teach them how and then let them own it.
  • Take one day a month to spend in your space outside of programming time. Pray for creativity, tidy up the room, think about new ways you can use your space.
  • Set up for your program  a day or days before. I use a shared space, the days that I can get in there before and prep the room for program I am WAY ahead of the game when it comes to the programming day for my students. My mind is clear of prep work and focused on equipping, encouraging, and empowering my leaders and students.
  • Recruit. Be specific when recruiting leaders/volunteers. Have one own stage design, another own Audio/Visual, yet another check-in process. When people’s responsibilities start to blur lines you will lose quality and assurance that the specific area is going to be taken care of.