Life of a youth pastor .

Would you celebrate with me?

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comingsoon

Next week my blog will hit a small goal I have set for myself, 100 posts!

Rewarding both me the writer and you the reader, I will be unveiling a new layout. I’ve experimented with a few different themes, allowed my self to adventure into the world of CSS and am really excited to share it with you. I changed things up a month ago but I’m just not satisfied. This will be a lot cleaner, simpler… well I will let it speak for itself when I launch it.

I am fascinated with how many people have contacted me or started reading my blog on a regular basis during its first year. I really enjoy writing, so I appreciate the encouragement you all have given along the way. I hope you find something here you can resonate with or put into practice in your own life and ministry.

Do you have anything you want me to write more about? Or ideas/philosophy of ministry you’d like me to explore? Let me know!

 

The guest group. WIN! WIN! WIN!

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guestgroup

The picture you see here was our guest group last week.  At our program we always start as a large group and then break out into small groups.

When everyone breaks for small groups, we invite all guests and the friend that brought them to hang around for the guest group. We make it special, offering ice cream… what would you do for a Klondike bar? Go to guest group!

After the guest attends the guest group at least twice, and they want to continue showing up to the program, I transition them into a small group. This will eliminate those who just visit once or are unsure if they want to participate in your church program. It is difficult for the small group leaders to gain traction when new students are popping in all the time. Here’s the other really cool part, I encourage the student pastor to host the guest group. I get to meet every student that comes through the door this way, they hear our vision for them being here, and they don’t feel invisible or glanced over! WIN! WIN! WIN!

I host the guest group in the large group space. This eliminates transition time or having your guest adjust to another room or setting. Asking easy generic questions is the way to go. Keep things surface level, share the vision of your ministry and what you hope to offer them, perhaps ask one or two questions pertaining to the message.

What do you offer your guests?

FREE group game!

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mystery_box1__36541_zoom

Having one of those weeks where you are trying to think of a fun element for youth group? I’ve got one for you. It’s really easy, fun and everyone seemed to have a good time. It will take maybe 5-10 minutes of prep work and 15 minutes to play.

Here’s how the game is played:

  1. Split your group into teams. I split them into classes Freshman through Seniors, so I had 4 teams.
  2. Put a mystery box of meaningless box of objects, clothing, toys, etc. in the middle of the room. Make sure there is plenty for each team. Perhaps even limit them to 5 items per team. Really hype up that what’s inside the box is a mystery.
  3. Give each team 5 minutes to gather items from the box and dress up a team mate of their choice.
  4. Have the team collaborate and come up with a crazy, awesome, stupid story that explains the choice costume and items. (We did spring break theme stories)
  5. Have them delegate a spokesperson from their group to tell the story and describe the outfit they chose for their lucky candidate.

This went over seemingly well, the students laughed at each others costumes and stories. This game really brings out the creativity and imagination of your group. Above all, I think they just like to be up front and part of the program.

 

The LEGO connection.

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the_lego_movie-wide

I loved playing with LEGOs as a kid so I was up for the movie. I went to the LEGO movie last night and didn’t fully appreciate the clip until the very end. The last 10 minutes of the movie makes an astounding statement about our society, processes, worldview and yes…even your ministry.

The ministry your designing and working day after day to build, one day will be picked apart and put back together in a different way. How does that make you feel? Are you okay with that? Is it worth it?

In the LEGO movie we see two different approaches to building, one follows instructions on the diagram given to them because they know it will work. The other type of builder sees a bunch of random pieces and somehow makes something magnificent out of it. While both builders make something great, there are two completely different approaches here and one sometimes will work better than the other.

I don’t believe we need to change our approach to truth, doctrine or the gospel but we need to be innovators in ministry. We need to bring change to our processes in an ever changing culture. We need to use our imagination to look at our current pieces differently, our budgets, our leaders, our students. Your ministry could have the potential of being something MUCH different, reaching those perhaps you never reached before. This will require picking apart your ministry LEGO pieces you have already put in place, or pieces that have been put in place before you.

Be open to change, it’s not always a bad thing.

Empower them!

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braveheart460

A good leader demonstrates great abilities. A great leader empowers the abilities within others.

If you do not learn this and act upon it you will be consumed by details and will be stuck right where you are at. Once you have reached capacity of what you are able to handle and I’d argue well before that, you need to learn how to extend your ministry to others. Learn how to give it away.

I am fully capable of calling and talking with all the parents represented in my ministry, and perhaps once a year I may attempt to do that. With 17 small groups, and around 175 students representing 350 parents I cannot simply pick up the phone and make a personal phone call. This past weekend I passed out our current rosters and made the ask. I asked each small group leader to call down the list of names represented in their small group and help spread the word about our summer mission trip opportunities.

Instead of calling 350 parents this week I intend to send one email and let those closest to the students call the parents, the small group leaders. Yes, I am leveraging the leadership I have… so that my entire team can carry the weight of responsibility we have been given.

When you empower those around you, there is more buy-in to your mission, more attention given to where its currently needed and you are less likely to burn out! Work smarter not harder.

Forward thinking.

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october-calendar

Does your family calendar look like this? If it doesn’t there are 10 students in your ministry that it does represent. We are way too busy, and if you can’t slow people down you need to get ahead of their schedule.

Many times, those young bucks in charge of the kiddos are known as the last-minute man. Simply, don’t be that person. I had a parent approach me earlier this week telling me how impressed they were, being that they got a calendar for the entire school year last fall. This allowed them to plan family vacations around special dates, like camps and mission trips. It simply took me a few days to look at the school calendars and block out the times I needed from families to run special activities for our students and make a calendar.

I guarantee that forward thinking and planning will only increase your participation rate. It’s worth the investment.

When using forward thinking and calendaring out 6 plus months in advance respects the family and partners with parents to provide an experience for their child. With a game plan in hand, they will walk away aware of two things when you schedule a camp, mission trips, or a special event.

  1. Save the date. Most parents would say, “I want my kid at this church activity.” They are  more responsible than the student and will mark it on the calendar making sure nothing gets scheduled on top of it.
  2. Save the money. They know this will cost money. (Even if they don’t, now you don’t have to feel bad announcing the price tag that is attached… they knew the $150 retreat was coming 6 months ago)

Now that I have done this for the past year, my job is simply to be consistent. Get the calendar in the hands of the parents late in the summer and do my best to stick to the same dates of camp/trips of the previous year. Consistency is your best momentum builder, this investment over time yields big rewards for your ministry as the years go on.

Do you have a plan for the next 6 months? 12 months? How will you communicate that plan to parents?

My first funeral. Things you should and shouldn’t say…

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funeral

A few weeks ago I officiated my first funeral. Though an honor to be asked to officiate such a ceremony, this was a tragedy for family, friends and the church. I struggled my way through it in the best way I knew how, grabbing sermons from others and crafting something of my own, which you can find attached at the end of this post. Fighting back tears and doing my best to deliver a message, this was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do in ministry yet.

The funeral wasn’t for one person, but two. One of my students lost both of her parents to a drunk driver. Just like that…gone. Unfair. Unjust. Unable to comprehend and explain. I had many family and their friends approach me with “why’s?”

I became comfortable in responding this way, the only way I knew how…

We weren’t created to understand death, we weren’t made to fathom separation from others. We were created for life, life with God and life with each other. When we see life taken from us whether young or old, it never feels right nor should it. We can’t seem to accept death, but we should accept that God has a reassuring hope for us. Through the person of Jesus, He gives us access to life with God and a future-Eden to look forward to in this most desperate time.

Things I recommend you should NOT say to someone that just lost a loved one:

  • “I know what you are going through right now.” You probably don’t. Everyone has their own experience, their own relationships, and their own emotions.
  • “Are you okay?” No they aren’t! That may sound reassuring but it’s tough right now, and “okay” is a long way away.
  • “This is the best thing that could have happened to them.” Perhaps, if the person was suffering. But let the loved one state that, it’s not your place.

Simply state you are sorry for what they are having to endure and ask if they have any needs that you can help meet during this time. Delivering meals, house cleaning, yard work, etc. These small things can really help out a family during the loss of a loved one.

Attached here is my manuscript (names have been altered to respect the family), feel free to use it as a resource as you serve others. Funeral_Manuscript_Parker

Raising the goblet of rock & creating musical fusion.

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Raise your goblet of rock! I love how the student asks, “Are we going to be goofing off like this every day?” Yes, he is Jack Black and has every right to “goof off” but he was getting the point across and had a personal critique for each student… all the while cutting loose and having fun.

At my church, we have been through the ups and downs of a student band, different leaders approaching leadership of the band from a different angle. Through fun times and not so fun times, we are heading in a great direction now but wonder if this is a struggle among most youth groups that desire to have music as part of their program?

What does your band practice look like? What elements are a must? Do you play any secular music at youth group? Why or why not?

Kryptonite.

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kryptonite

It was after sitting down with some veteran youth pastors and their teams, that I discovered how much an infant in ministry I really am. I am going on 2 years of overseeing my own student ministry at Gateway Church here in Austin. While I do feel accomplished and my ministry blessed in the amount of time I have been on staff, I know many endeavors are yet to come. Like all youth pastors, I continually ask the question, “How do I take this to the next level?”

How can I get rid of the kryptonite that is disabling my ministry from reaching the potential I know it has? The answers lie deep within your vision, goals, prayer, volunteers,  and *drumroll* ….other churches. Yup! I said it, other churches. 

Whether you are a lone ranger trying to do this on your own, have another partner in crime or perhaps even lead a huge team of youth ministry staff; it’s time you got some fresh air and went on a field trip. Take your team, some key volunteers, or even your senior pastor to another church that you respect or know has certain aspects they thrive in that you are weak in. Don’t fool yourself, this all-star ministry will have its own kryptonite and unique set of challenges but what can you learn from them? What are they doing well? How did they get there? Ask a lot of questions and take notes.

A simple visit to another church can both help you dream and even troubleshoot with someone else in your profession. Pick up the phone and call your fellow peer, let them know you are coming to visit!

If you are ever in Austin, give me a shout, come observe and tell me what we can do better! chris_parker@gatewaychurch.com