Life of a youth pastor .

Juggling Rocket Ships.

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What goes up must come down…so the saying goes. But what about the rocket ship? If it goes high enough it will reach zero gravity and stay in orbit for a long time! That ship is not coming back down unless given a force in the opposite direction in from which it came.

In ministry, don’t you wish you were juggling with rocket ships?! What some of us would give, to know that we could throw a task so high that it succeeds in flight and all we need to do is keep an eye on it, making sure the flight pattern is on the right path.

Often pastors, staff, and volunteers throw one ball up at a time just for it to come back down. One area of your ministry needs help, attention, a process – you spend hours, days and even weeks helping it succeed. Just when you think you have thrown that ball high enough you see many others speeding at you like asteroids about to hit your ministry. You have now lost focus of the one ball you spent so much time with! And very soon, it too will be speeding back at you.

I’m not here to say I have the answers to this juggling act, but rather offer some sympathy and encouragement…

I know ministry is exhausting at times, find strength in the Spirit. I understand you are frustrated, find contentment in the Gospel.  I recognize you are probably not getting the results you desire at the moment, find fulfillment and joy in being a child of God!

What are you juggling right now? Budgets, retreats, capital campaigns, small groups, recruiting leaders, meeting with students, parents, equipping volunteers, casting vision for staff, writing messages for Sunday. I’m right there with you.  So, how do I juggle these tasks? I recognize that the Spirit has given each one of my staff, leaders and volunteers a gift. I play to their strengths. You are not alone in ministry…so don’t do ministry alone!

How am I currently juggling? I try to begin with prayer, knowing that God is ultimately responsible here. “God, give me someone to oversee this check-in process.” Now you have to act! Seek out people who have a gift of hospitality – put them in charge of overseeing your greeting and check-in process. This one person can focus on the one ball of greeting. Seek out who has a gift of humor, I strongly believe God has created some people to be more funny than others…and every student ministry needs one. Have this person focus on the one ball of games. I am a partnering students with these adults in the juggling act, help share the load and feel the ownership. I would strongly discourage you from just putting anyone in a postion of coaching or ownership in an area of your ministry, make sure they are qualified, passionate about that specific area, and gifted in that way. It is better to keep looking than try to find a quick fix!

As these teams develop, you do not get a free ride. In some cases, your position becomes more difficult. You will have to learn how to explain your vision, desires, why’s and how to’s, when it comes to juggling. Hopefully, somewhere along the way you aren’t the one juggling all the balls that make up your ministry. You have gone from juggler to aircraft control tower – directing the airspace in your ministry where your rocket ships have launched and are flying high!

I am praying for all the pastors out there today who are juggling away.  I pray that God guides you to people who hold gifts and passions that your ministry needs to successfully launch!

If you are really interested in learning how to juggle, take a shot at it!

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Join the Experiment!

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You wake up, pour some coffee and before you are out the door to your first meeting your phone alarm goes off, it’s a reminder to stay connected to God. The reminder is customizable to your schedule when you are awake, every hour you get a verse from the Bible. Sixty days with God every hour you are awake, the sixty-sixty experiment. For dedicated believers or even pastors it can be difficult to make your relationship with God a priority with all the distractions your day will offer.

Our church is in the middle of the series “Soul Revolution” and the sixty-sixty experiment. I would encourage any one whether they are near or far from God to download the app for free and give it a try (Soul Revolution). If you don’t have a smart phone, all you need to participate is a watch you can program to beep every hour.

To make the experiment a little bit more student friendly, I did my best to get into their world. Almost every student carries a binder to school and opens it every day, multiple times a day – including at home when they do homework. We created binder inserts. The inserts were cut in half, laminated and 3-hole punched. We passed them out at the beginning of the experiment and encouraged students to put them in the front of their binder. I’m considering making inserts for other big series in the future. I’d be happy to share this resource with you, here is a link to my public dropbox folder containing the binder inserts.

Have you participated in the sixty-sixty experiment? Let’s hear your story!

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Are you ready to plant a church?

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Church planting has a special place in my heart; it is found in the DNA of both my home church Hill Country Bible Church and my current church, Gateway. I was a bit confused when I was asked to take a church planting survey while in my interview process. In the words of my senior pastor, “If we offer you this position I need to know that you understand church planting.” Not just this youth ministry, but almost every youth ministry and every youth pastor will experience this similar pressure at some point…to grow the ministry both spiritually and numerically. I believe that many veteran youth pastors make excellent candidates for church planting. Student ministry is full to the brim of church planting essentials: equipping people to lead, casting vision, working with budgets, hiring and leading staff, organizing serving opportunities and mission trips, leading small group movements, dedicating oneself to a weekly program of teaching and worship, the list goes on and on.

The assessment given to me was issued by ELI Church Planting. “ELI is mobilizing leaders to start new churches out of the culture – churches molded from messy people rising up out of the culture to become the Body of Christ.”

So, are you ready to plant a church? Check out ELI’s website for the free assessment and learn more about your areas of strength and needs for improvement when it comes to church planting.

One of my current reads on church planting is “Church Planter” by Darrin Patrick.

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Got Curriculum? Communication.

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This is blog posting #2 on Got Curriculum? See #1 here.

Communication is everything when it comes to curriculum. You the youth pastor communicating with your small group leaders –> your small group leaders communicating with the students and parents –> the actual material that needs to be communicated. If there is one thing that absolutely blows my mind about LIVE curriculum is how good of a communication network it offers.

WARNING: You will get out of it as much as you put into it. Let me explain.

  • Parent E-mail – for each individual lesson there is a parent email that you can copy+paste into a distribution list of parent emails to let them not only know what Johnny is learning that week during small group, but gives them questions to engage with their kid. We did this for our small group leaders as an accountability tool, they knew mom and dad would be getting the topic email, this helped them stay on track with the curriculum path.
  • Dashboard – Every small group leader has a one-stop shop for what they need to know before leading their small group for the week. Each leader is assigned a login & password, giving them access to ALL of their lessons for the entire school year with both a leaders guide that can be crafted to their own liking along with a student handout sheet for each week. In this same forum they are able to see new messages posted by me, and have the ability to TEXT their small group!
  • Texting – Ya, I know…texting can be more impersonal than a good phone call or face-to-face conversation, but it’s 2012 and when you need to get the word out quickly so students know where you’re meeting for small group or what they should read before coming, this can be a handy tool. Texting is a communication tool also offered through Simply Youth Ministry. We purchased it to coincide with our curriculum. I will say it’s probably 50/50 when it comes down to leaders using it to contact and connect with their small groups. I also use this feature to connect with parents. For example, I will send out a “text blast” to inform all of our parents about a certain event, “Parents, remember we have a parents meeting to discuss our mission trips for this summer. See you at 3PM.”
  • There’s an app for that – Need I say more? There is a LIVE Curriculum app that is unique to each leader’s login credentials. If you are a sophomore leader, it will show your calendar for the year, all of the sophomore study guides, small group questions and updated messages from the youth pastor.

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The tough conversation…

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We have all been there – knowing we need to have that tough conversation with a friend, relative or peer. The conversation is not being looked forward to because you know there will be confrontation in your conversation. As much as you would like to think that this person will eventually ‘get it’ most of the time they won’t unless you talk it out.

There have been many times in my life I have been the one confronted…and if done right, I am forever grateful! There have also been times that I have been on the other side, trying to confront someone about something…perhaps it’s an attitude, a cycle of sin, or even just feedback on how someone is leading. I think we all have been on either side of the equation and I’d like to take a moment to unfold some things to keep in mind that will help you the next time you are approached by someone with a confrontation or perhaps you need to have the tough conversation with someone else.

1. Show some humility. We are all sinners here, remember you have had your moments too! Any situation can be a learning moment, do not put yourself above the person that is calling you out – hear them out. When you sit down to have a conversation with a student, leader, or peer and want to confront them – think about where you have struggled in life, perhaps in the same areas.

2. Be quick to speak…scripture tells us not to let the sun go down if we are angry with our brother or sister in Christ. We need to talk things out –  NOT in the heat of the moment, take a breath, take a walk, talk with God first. We need to make sure we are speaking in love, not out of our sin nature in anger or hate. Have open ears to listen to the other person, but we cannot let important feedback linger. If we confront someone about a situation that took place 6 months ago, this could blur the lines of caring, urgency, and priority. If it was that important, why are you waiting until now to bring it up? Avoiding the conversation will only make things worse and furthermore show that this confrontation is not important.

3. Be honest. I know that when I’m honest with a student or leader, there might be some questions, dislike, hurt feelings, perhaps even disagreement but in the end they usually thank me for being honest. The worst thing that could happen is being honest with others about how you feel toward a particular person without being honest directly with that specific person, this is called GOSSIP! Honesty can and will complicate conversations, but it does bring us closer to the realities we are discussing and the feelings we are feeling.

4. Follow Up. I had a really tough conversation with a student a few weeks ago – it was honest, we both showed humility, and both of us saw it as a learning experience. We perceived certain things about each other that seemed to drive a wedge between us…we both perceived wrongly. It was so good to clear the air and have the tough conversation. Through tears, prayer and hug I still felt a little bit uneasy where things were left UNTIL the follow up. We briefly talked exactly a week later and I feel much better as where things stand. Tough conversations can be really hard for both the listener and the one who feels compelled to say something…let it settle in for a while. Evaluate the conversation as you have it, will this need to be re-visited? Do I need to bring in a parent or church staff member into this conversation? What would be the best way to follow up? Make it a point to tell your listener…”I’d like to follow up next week.” And do it! This shows that your truly care about them. Ask them how they are doing, ask them if they have had any thoughts on the conversation you had. If you are the listener and you think it may be needed, make sure you ask for a follow up conversation. Some things might be revealed to you that you should not respond to in the heat of the moment, let it settle…pray over the things said, do a self evaluation and perhaps seek wise counsel from someone you respect.

Though there are many things to consider, but these few things kept in mind when having a tough conversation can be extremely helpful. I know they have helped me!

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Eat Blueberry Pancakes

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It’s not my first choice on the menu…pancakes. I’m more of an eggs and bacon kind of guy. I know my wife loves them and I do like the idea of creating them, I love cooking! This past weekend we decided to take a few days off to enjoy the great outdoors. We packed up the truck with all our camping gear and headed north to Devil’s Lake in Wisconsin. The park was quite full so we camped at a nearby campground Mirror Lake, it’s quite the gem. We spent most of our first day setting up camp, napping, talking around the campfire and praying together – there is just something about getting away from your every day schedule that allows you to think more clearly and put the life that God has given you in perspective.

We invited another couple to join us for the weekend. They are very close friends of ours and came up later that night after getting off work. It was a comfort and refreshing thing to spend an intentional weekend with another couple that re-energizes us and gave us all an opportunity to minister to one another.

After a long day of hiking and rock climbing the cliffs at Devil’s Lake we ended the evening with chili over the campfire. The next morning I put some coffee on and then proceeded to make some thick, fluffy, blueberry pancakes. I did have my eggs and bacon but also threw down a giant blueberry pancake! It was perhaps the best pancake I’ve ever had…and a new favorite.

The truth is, no matter if things are going great, life is a little crazy or you find yourself in tough situations I think the three following things can bring great joy to your life and family:

1.) GO CAMPING. Maybe you aren’t the happy camper…but do try to get away from everything – including that cell phone. Throw the normal schedule out the window for a couple of days…enjoy the adventure!

2.) TIME WITH FRIENDS. Great friends are priceless. Find them and keep them close – they can be your greatest boost of energy while serving in full-time ministry.

3.) EAT BLUEBERRY PANCAKES. More specifically, try something new whether it be a new food, a new exercise routine, or book series. You never know…you just might like it!

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Have a destination in mind…

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lifeofayouthpastor.com is here! This website/blog is really a snapshot of my life (Chris Parker) as a youth pastor, husband, and most importantly one who understands that this life is NOT MY OWN (1Cor.6:19) I have been adopted by God and am experiencing LIFE TO THE FULLEST through His son Jesus Christ. (John 10:10) I hope to provide other youth pastors, leaders, volunteers, parents and students an open door to my life as it revolves around youth ministry, my family and adventures of mine!

Scott Murray, Junior High Pastor at Wheaton Bible Church…very much my partner in crime when it comes to youth ministry is the first to subscribe! Scott is great…he loves Jesus, his family and his youth ministry team. We exchange ideas, experiences in ministry, sermon ideas and vision all the time. I’m excited to do the same with many of you through lifeofayouthpastor.com

Knowing where you are going in ministry is critically important, whether it be a small task or a full blown program. How you get there may have numerous routes or detours, the reality is though that you do have a destination in mind. I would hope that lifeofayouthpastor.com would be a ministry in and of itself to many that subscribe (subscribe by email just by the click of a button on the top right corner of the page!)

So, I do need a destination in mind that I can continually travel toward as I write…my destination when all said and done is to look back at hundreds of postings that would have connected hundreds of people and sparked hundreds of conversations concerning youth ministry, the Bible, the church world, the parenting world, and give you a small peek at who Chris Parker is as a youth pastor.

Enjoy!

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