Life of a youth pastor .

Listen to “their” music…just push play.

February 4, 2013 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

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Music is not what it use to be. If the Beatles are still your favorite band then we need to talk. The music conversation is one that most youth pastors will have with a senior pastor, fellow staff member, student band member or even a parent. I remember a parent asking me recently, “Do you think it’s okay if my daughter listens to Taylor Swift?” Here’s the reality, as a parent or a youth pastor…most of the students out there are listening to a secular radio station your city plays or quickly downloading the hottest #1 release on the digital market. If that’s not the case of your child or student, they will still hear this stuff around their friends or when they go out. While it might not be your taste, visit a radio station that plays music with bad words being bleeped out, lyrics about one night stands and a beat you can’t understand.  Here is what you need to remember – this is “their” music. This is what students listen to, this is what their friends listen to. These are the lyrics that are filling up their minds, driving their emotions, and even affecting their decision making. The chorus that sings about love, will be one of the ways they think about and interpret love as a teenager. Their favorite lead musician may appear to have it all together, this is literally a rockstar they look up to – they want to sing like them, dress like them, talk like them.

Surprisingly, there is still some clean secular music out there and when you find it… you should play it. Play it in the home. Play it as students are walking into church. Play it on the bus as you travel on your mission trip. Play the music video at camp. Students appreciate you knowing their music, and keeping up with their taste. When you play the clean stuff you are affirming and encouraging that specific song or artist. When you choose certain songs or decline particular song requests, this allows for honest conversation in why you chose these artists/songs rather than others. Avoiding the subject all together and just playing what you want is not an option.

I’m guilty of listening to plenty of songs that are irrelevant in today’s student culture. I’m an old soul. When I say to a student that I like listening to The Eagles, Marty Robbins, or some Johnny Cash they look at me real funny. So here is the challenge to you and me, find that radio station playing all the current rock/pop and just push play. Give it a whole week. Reflect on the lyrics, better understand the culture they are living in and what they are listening to. Find the fun and clean songs, write them down, download them, add them to your playlist.

I’m sure there is way more to this conversation…what do agree or disagree with? How do you feel about the challenge? What were the results if you did try this?

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: child, church, high school, middle school, music, parent, pastor, push play, radio, student ministry, students, Youth Ministry

Orange Tour Dallas

January 30, 2013 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

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I had a great opportunity to invest into some of my leaders by taking them to the Orange Tour in Dallas this past week. It was an awarding experience, including some great bonding moments with my volunteers and staff. If you are familiar with the Orange strategy you know what kind of stuff we studied, if you aren’t it’s rather simple – “What if church leaders and parents synchronized their efforts to fuel wonder, discovery and passion in the next generation?” By combining the critical influences of the light of the church (yellow) and the love of the family (red) the Orange Strategy shows a generation who God is more effectively than either could alone.” –www.whatisorange.org

The main focus of the conference was “Lead Small” – what a great focus for my volunteer team, seeing that we don’t have a functioning small group model to offer all of our students currently. This helped pioneer some great discussion and what we will be trying to achieve for our ministry in the year ahead.

My greatest takeaway –

“When you lead change, you decide to make adjustments to present methods for the sake of a sacred mission.”

I love the story that was shared at Orange of a current lead pastor, Carey Nieuwhof, who started ministry in a relatively old church setting. When he came on staff, he walked into one of his first staff meetings and asked the question, “I’ve been driving around Toronto all day trying to tune in on some organ music, I can’t seem to find any, why are we playing organ music on Sunday mornings?” He knew something needed to change in order to reach the current culture – not change the message nor the mission, but rather the method, the style of music being offered.

I pray for all those pastors and ministry leaders that are timid to change programs and think differently about current structure in order to reach the next generation, especially those that don’t have a church home. While the gospel message will always be the aim in my ministry and should continually be our foundation, this generation and culture is changing at a pace that we must keep up with.

Will you lead change for the sake of a sacred mission? For the sake of the next generation in the church?

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: church, conference, high school, leadership, middle school, Orange, orange tour, pastor, student ministry, students, volunteers, Youth Ministry

My Youth Year Resolution: 2013

December 31, 2012 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

New Year 2013Wishing I could have a friendship with each and every student in my ministry is not realistic. Youth pastors are sometimes accused of having a few favorites, taking a special interest in a handful of students and hanging out with them all the time. And while that may be true, the greater truth is that when it comes to 100+ students, you can hardly remember all the names and say “Hi” to each of them on a Sunday morning. Students need more than just a “Hi” each week. Students need someone that is intentionally and consistently investing in their life, taking special interest in their spiritual development as they explore God and mature in their faith journey. I suppose someone needs to play favorites after all, it shouldn’t be solely the role of the youth pastor.

Programs are great teaching moments and momentum boosters, but authentic relationships is the glue of ministry – it keeps people together.

What’s my youth year resolution? In 2013 I plan to launch a small group movement for both middle school and high school students at my church. Connecting a student to an adult that is demonstrating an authentic relationship with God will benefit a student’s growth far more than any program. Life on life discipleship is not a new invention nor will it expire, this is what Jesus displayed for us. He did life with 12 men. He traveled with them, stayed up late with them, explored cities with them, went on camping trips with them, went hiking with them, went sailing with them…talked life with them, spoke truth to them, asked them the hard questions. There is no doubt according to scripture that these were monumental moments for the 12, that’s why we have them in writing.

Your leaders/volunteers may not be Jesus, but they do have the time to spend with students. How will they spend this time? How will they lead their group? What kind of adventures will they go on? Imagine how much impact a Christ following adult could have on 12 teenage lives.

Though I aspire to launch a small group movement for students, it begins with my leaders. Offer a small group or multiple small groups for your leaders – period. This not only helps in laying a foundation for students, but you can better grasp understanding of where they are at in their relationship with God and others. Seeing your leadership in a small group setting on a regular basis will hopefully be reflected in the way that they lead their small group.

Equipping them is key, find multiple ways to make this happen:

  • Get personal. Spend time with each leader, cast vision for them, help them set goals.
  • Develop a small group survival kit for them. More on this later.
  • Take them to a conference or on a retreat. We are going to Orange in January.
  • Show up at small group, let them know in advance. Give them feedback, applause and constructive criticism.

A few books to consider when initiating or developing a small group movement:

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: adult leader, church, Church Planting, leadership, Orange, small group, small groups, student ministry, volunteer, Youth Ministry, youth pastor

You only have 7 minutes!

November 24, 2012 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

I remember like it was yesterday…there were donuts, good donuts. And there were people with smiles. We played a game that seemed like semi-organized chaos, boys were throwing crumpled up paper at the girls and the girls were throwing them back at us. I don’t remember a single word the youth pastor said, actually I don’t even remember the youth pastor. One thing is for sure though, I felt welcomed and I wanted to go back. That was 7th grade at the church I grew up at. I had entered the youth group and I didn’t want to leave…and I didn’t, I stuck with it on a weekly basis through graduation of high school. All of those feelings of awkwardness, not belonging or people staring at that pimple on my forehead went away. I was in a place where I felt accepted immediately and had an all access pass to friends, leaders and my youth pastor.

Now I’m the youth pastor and I see an average of 5 guests a week… I want them to get connected and stay connected to God and others. How many guest do you see on a weekly basis? How do you make them feel welcomed? Do they come back?

“Seven minutes is all you get to make a positive first impression.  In the first seven minutes of contact with your church, your first-time guests will know whether or not they are coming back.  That’s before a single worship song is sung and before a single word of the message is uttered.” – Fusion

Fusion has helped me work through some of my “assimilation process” as I strive to make our visitors noticed, welcomed and always invited back to be a part of our group.

As staff, we do an okay job of getting students checked-in, giving them a gift and getting their information. However, I feel like that’s where it starts to unravel. We will call the cell phone number, leave a facebook message…but follow up for students is just down right hard.

FOLLOW UP!
Giving the students a gift or having them fill out an info card is the easy part. Following up and keeping that system alive is tough! What does your follow up process look like? How do you manage it and keep it fresh for students?

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: 7 minutes, assimilation, church, follow up, fusion, guest, student ministry, visitor, youth pastor

Prioritize the TO-DO list.

November 12, 2012 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

  1. If it takes 2 minutes, just do it!
  2. If someone can help, delegate it.
  3. If none of the above, put it on the calendar.

Every night I go home with a to-do list that is never complete. I dream big and know that my list will always out do me when push comes shove. Can you relate? The to-do’s will keep coming and we will never truly finish having to-do’s, but how would it feel to have the list prioritized so you spend more time getting things done rather than feeling at loss or defeated? Getting Things Done, this book has been a huge help in prioritizing my to-do list and has helped me develop a mindset of priority in a role that requires endless decisions to be made and a process for my many tasks to be completed.This chart is referenced in the book…put all of your to-do’s through this model and see what happens.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: 2 minutes, chart, church, delegate, Getting Things Done, leadership, list, pastor, prioritize, student ministry, To-Do, Youth Ministry, youth pastor

Was Camp a Success?

October 26, 2012 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

I have been to dozens of camps both as a student, volunteer and pastor. This past weekend I had the privilege of speaking at a camp in northern Georgia. My buddy Tim Tullis, a junior high pastor at a church in Knoxville invited me to spend the weekend with him and his students. Camp was a blast, I enjoyed the students and absolutely loved the camp. It confirmed that you can pull off a 6-12 camp for students in how you organize their time at camp, a schedule for HS and one for MS. The setting was truly an escape from reality, nestled in the Blue Ridge Mountains, I would highly recommend Woodlands Camp for any youth group looking for a camp setting in the south/east.

Though I thoroughly enjoyed speaking at the camp, I had the great privilege of participating in a 7th grade boys cabin talk one night. Hearing them say things like, “I need to apologize to my parents for the way I act” shows me they have a group of friends hearing them out, trusting them, and participating in life change when it happens –  there was some really great conversation! Sitting in the small group and hearing the the boys reflect on the things I shared in the large session really solidified some thoughts on camp. Students will run around, play crazy games, eat that awesome camp food and even take notes in the main session BUT the life change is happening in small groups. Talking with my team at staff meeting this week  my convictions were confirmed. Much of our time is spent programming for the main program, energy spent developing games, we make sure to provide students with enough free time – and cabin time becomes “whatever you guys want to talk about.” There should always be room for the whatever in a small group, but the whatever is hopefully guided toward the essentials of one’s faith journey.

When a youth group comes off of a mountain top experience, like camp, many students experience life change. They have encountered and dealt with some big things in their life and focused on their relationship with God for a solid 3-5 days. What helped make that life change a success?

  • Proximity – Take a student out of their element and put them in an environment that is not regular to them. Getting a student away from the computer, cell phone, their favorite CD allows their mind to think about other things in the present such as God and the people around them. When you take a student out of their normal routine it allows them to zoom out and get a panoramic view of life.
  • Scheduled God Time – For the most part, students hardly spend time with God or thinking about God outside their regular program(s) or small groups that the church facilitates for them. With 2 sessions a day, personal devotions, and cabin talks – scheduled time for students to rest in God’s word and think about their relationship with Him make a HUGE impact over a few days at camp.
  • Small Groups – This is where success happens at camp. It is not only the conversations that happen in the cabin but the intentionality of taking that stuff home as a small group and continue the conversation. The camp speaker is NOT the focal point, but merely someone who primes the pump and begins the conversation for greater conversation among established relationships.

Final Thought

If much of the camp’s success is dictated on followup with small groups, how can we better aim at equipping our small groups and leaders for the long haul when returning home? If you haven’t participated in a small group in some time but lead the direction for them you are missing out. It is incredibly important to take constant pulse checks on your small groups to better serve them and provide resources to help students get connected and stay connected.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: #woodlands12, camp, camp speaker, knoxville, leadership, pastor, small groups, student ministry, tim tullis, woodlands camp, Youth Ministry, youth pastor

Juggling Rocket Ships.

October 2, 2012 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

What goes up must come down…so the saying goes. But what about the rocket ship? If it goes high enough it will reach zero gravity and stay in orbit for a long time! That ship is not coming back down unless given a force in the opposite direction in from which it came.

In ministry, don’t you wish you were juggling with rocket ships?! What some of us would give, to know that we could throw a task so high that it succeeds in flight and all we need to do is keep an eye on it, making sure the flight pattern is on the right path.

Often pastors, staff, and volunteers throw one ball up at a time just for it to come back down. One area of your ministry needs help, attention, a process – you spend hours, days and even weeks helping it succeed. Just when you think you have thrown that ball high enough you see many others speeding at you like asteroids about to hit your ministry. You have now lost focus of the one ball you spent so much time with! And very soon, it too will be speeding back at you.

I’m not here to say I have the answers to this juggling act, but rather offer some sympathy and encouragement…

I know ministry is exhausting at times, find strength in the Spirit. I understand you are frustrated, find contentment in the Gospel.  I recognize you are probably not getting the results you desire at the moment, find fulfillment and joy in being a child of God!

What are you juggling right now? Budgets, retreats, capital campaigns, small groups, recruiting leaders, meeting with students, parents, equipping volunteers, casting vision for staff, writing messages for Sunday. I’m right there with you.  So, how do I juggle these tasks? I recognize that the Spirit has given each one of my staff, leaders and volunteers a gift. I play to their strengths. You are not alone in ministry…so don’t do ministry alone!

How am I currently juggling? I try to begin with prayer, knowing that God is ultimately responsible here. “God, give me someone to oversee this check-in process.” Now you have to act! Seek out people who have a gift of hospitality – put them in charge of overseeing your greeting and check-in process. This one person can focus on the one ball of greeting. Seek out who has a gift of humor, I strongly believe God has created some people to be more funny than others…and every student ministry needs one. Have this person focus on the one ball of games. I am a partnering students with these adults in the juggling act, help share the load and feel the ownership. I would strongly discourage you from just putting anyone in a postion of coaching or ownership in an area of your ministry, make sure they are qualified, passionate about that specific area, and gifted in that way. It is better to keep looking than try to find a quick fix!

As these teams develop, you do not get a free ride. In some cases, your position becomes more difficult. You will have to learn how to explain your vision, desires, why’s and how to’s, when it comes to juggling. Hopefully, somewhere along the way you aren’t the one juggling all the balls that make up your ministry. You have gone from juggler to aircraft control tower – directing the airspace in your ministry where your rocket ships have launched and are flying high!

I am praying for all the pastors out there today who are juggling away.  I pray that God guides you to people who hold gifts and passions that your ministry needs to successfully launch!

If you are really interested in learning how to juggle, take a shot at it!

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Church Planting, coaching, juggling, leading, ministry, pastor, prayer, recruiting, student ministry, volunteers

Join the Experiment!

September 23, 2012 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

You wake up, pour some coffee and before you are out the door to your first meeting your phone alarm goes off, it’s a reminder to stay connected to God. The reminder is customizable to your schedule when you are awake, every hour you get a verse from the Bible. Sixty days with God every hour you are awake, the sixty-sixty experiment. For dedicated believers or even pastors it can be difficult to make your relationship with God a priority with all the distractions your day will offer.

Our church is in the middle of the series “Soul Revolution” and the sixty-sixty experiment. I would encourage any one whether they are near or far from God to download the app for free and give it a try (Soul Revolution). If you don’t have a smart phone, all you need to participate is a watch you can program to beep every hour.

To make the experiment a little bit more student friendly, I did my best to get into their world. Almost every student carries a binder to school and opens it every day, multiple times a day – including at home when they do homework. We created binder inserts. The inserts were cut in half, laminated and 3-hole punched. We passed them out at the beginning of the experiment and encouraged students to put them in the front of their binder. I’m considering making inserts for other big series in the future. I’d be happy to share this resource with you, here is a link to my public dropbox folder containing the binder inserts.

Have you participated in the sixty-sixty experiment? Let’s hear your story!

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: 6060, binder inserts, church, experiment, pastor, sixty-sixty, soul revolution, student ministry, students

Teach your mom how to use a computer!

September 22, 2012 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment


When I went away to college I’ll never forget how many times my parents would call and ask questions about the computer…how to attach a file, make a new folder, or even how to turn on the computer! Our parents didn’t grow up with computers, why blame them when you can help them?!

Help them answer questions like this:

  • Copy & Paste
  • Change background/screensaver
  • Create an online calendar
  • Chat & Video chat
  • Attach files to email

I was introduced to a website recently that google put together, I’m sure you will have fun organizing your own little tech care package for mom, dad, or the grandparents. The video tutorials are extremely helpful, I’m hoping to put together something similar  for new volunteers serving in my ministry – giving them specific video tutorials that are helpful for their area of serving – greeting, visitor check-in, leading a small group, etc.

Send some tech love to mom or dad HERE.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Computer, leadership, student ministry, teaching, tutorials, Youth Ministry, youth pastor

Are you ready to plant a church?

September 17, 2012 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

Church planting has a special place in my heart; it is found in the DNA of both my home church Hill Country Bible Church and my current church, Gateway. I was a bit confused when I was asked to take a church planting survey while in my interview process. In the words of my senior pastor, “If we offer you this position I need to know that you understand church planting.” Not just this youth ministry, but almost every youth ministry and every youth pastor will experience this similar pressure at some point…to grow the ministry both spiritually and numerically. I believe that many veteran youth pastors make excellent candidates for church planting. Student ministry is full to the brim of church planting essentials: equipping people to lead, casting vision, working with budgets, hiring and leading staff, organizing serving opportunities and mission trips, leading small group movements, dedicating oneself to a weekly program of teaching and worship, the list goes on and on.

The assessment given to me was issued by ELI Church Planting. “ELI is mobilizing leaders to start new churches out of the culture – churches molded from messy people rising up out of the culture to become the Body of Christ.”

So, are you ready to plant a church? Check out ELI’s website for the free assessment and learn more about your areas of strength and needs for improvement when it comes to church planting.

One of my current reads on church planting is “Church Planter” by Darrin Patrick.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: church, church planter, Church Planting, growth, leadership, ministry, pastor, student ministry, youth pastor

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Hey there, my name is Chris. I wake up every morning thinking youth ministry. If you are in the same boat, then I know you will identify with me, because you also live the life of a youth pastor .

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