Life of a youth pastor .

Forward thinking.

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Does your family calendar look like this? If it doesn’t there are 10 students in your ministry that it does represent. We are way too busy, and if you can’t slow people down you need to get ahead of their schedule.

Many times, those young bucks in charge of the kiddos are known as the last-minute man. Simply, don’t be that person. I had a parent approach me earlier this week telling me how impressed they were, being that they got a calendar for the entire school year last fall. This allowed them to plan family vacations around special dates, like camps and mission trips. It simply took me a few days to look at the school calendars and block out the times I needed from families to run special activities for our students and make a calendar.

I guarantee that forward thinking and planning will only increase your participation rate. It’s worth the investment.

When using forward thinking and calendaring out 6 plus months in advance respects the family and partners with parents to provide an experience for their child. With a game plan in hand, they will walk away aware of two things when you schedule a camp, mission trips, or a special event.

  1. Save the date. Most parents would say, “I want my kid at this church activity.” They are  more responsible than the student and will mark it on the calendar making sure nothing gets scheduled on top of it.
  2. Save the money. They know this will cost money. (Even if they don’t, now you don’t have to feel bad announcing the price tag that is attached… they knew the $150 retreat was coming 6 months ago)

Now that I have done this for the past year, my job is simply to be consistent. Get the calendar in the hands of the parents late in the summer and do my best to stick to the same dates of camp/trips of the previous year. Consistency is your best momentum builder, this investment over time yields big rewards for your ministry as the years go on.

Do you have a plan for the next 6 months? 12 months? How will you communicate that plan to parents?

My first funeral. Things you should and shouldn’t say…

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funeral

A few weeks ago I officiated my first funeral. Though an honor to be asked to officiate such a ceremony, this was a tragedy for family, friends and the church. I struggled my way through it in the best way I knew how, grabbing sermons from others and crafting something of my own, which you can find attached at the end of this post. Fighting back tears and doing my best to deliver a message, this was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do in ministry yet.

The funeral wasn’t for one person, but two. One of my students lost both of her parents to a drunk driver. Just like that…gone. Unfair. Unjust. Unable to comprehend and explain. I had many family and their friends approach me with “why’s?”

I became comfortable in responding this way, the only way I knew how…

We weren’t created to understand death, we weren’t made to fathom separation from others. We were created for life, life with God and life with each other. When we see life taken from us whether young or old, it never feels right nor should it. We can’t seem to accept death, but we should accept that God has a reassuring hope for us. Through the person of Jesus, He gives us access to life with God and a future-Eden to look forward to in this most desperate time.

Things I recommend you should NOT say to someone that just lost a loved one:

  • “I know what you are going through right now.” You probably don’t. Everyone has their own experience, their own relationships, and their own emotions.
  • “Are you okay?” No they aren’t! That may sound reassuring but it’s tough right now, and “okay” is a long way away.
  • “This is the best thing that could have happened to them.” Perhaps, if the person was suffering. But let the loved one state that, it’s not your place.

Simply state you are sorry for what they are having to endure and ask if they have any needs that you can help meet during this time. Delivering meals, house cleaning, yard work, etc. These small things can really help out a family during the loss of a loved one.

Attached here is my manuscript (names have been altered to respect the family), feel free to use it as a resource as you serve others. Funeral_Manuscript_Parker

Raising the goblet of rock & creating musical fusion.

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Raise your goblet of rock! I love how the student asks, “Are we going to be goofing off like this every day?” Yes, he is Jack Black and has every right to “goof off” but he was getting the point across and had a personal critique for each student… all the while cutting loose and having fun.

At my church, we have been through the ups and downs of a student band, different leaders approaching leadership of the band from a different angle. Through fun times and not so fun times, we are heading in a great direction now but wonder if this is a struggle among most youth groups that desire to have music as part of their program?

What does your band practice look like? What elements are a must? Do you play any secular music at youth group? Why or why not?

Kryptonite.

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kryptonite

It was after sitting down with some veteran youth pastors and their teams, that I discovered how much an infant in ministry I really am. I am going on 2 years of overseeing my own student ministry at Gateway Church here in Austin. While I do feel accomplished and my ministry blessed in the amount of time I have been on staff, I know many endeavors are yet to come. Like all youth pastors, I continually ask the question, “How do I take this to the next level?”

How can I get rid of the kryptonite that is disabling my ministry from reaching the potential I know it has? The answers lie deep within your vision, goals, prayer, volunteers,  and *drumroll* ….other churches. Yup! I said it, other churches. 

Whether you are a lone ranger trying to do this on your own, have another partner in crime or perhaps even lead a huge team of youth ministry staff; it’s time you got some fresh air and went on a field trip. Take your team, some key volunteers, or even your senior pastor to another church that you respect or know has certain aspects they thrive in that you are weak in. Don’t fool yourself, this all-star ministry will have its own kryptonite and unique set of challenges but what can you learn from them? What are they doing well? How did they get there? Ask a lot of questions and take notes.

A simple visit to another church can both help you dream and even troubleshoot with someone else in your profession. Pick up the phone and call your fellow peer, let them know you are coming to visit!

If you are ever in Austin, give me a shout, come observe and tell me what we can do better! chris_parker@gatewaychurch.com

Just “like” it.

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Why? Tonight a sophomore girl that frequents our youth group had over 150 likes on a photo, yet she goes up to my wife and says, “You liked my photo!” She felt so loved, understood, valued, important… simply because my wife saw a photo and liked it. That student scrolled through a myriad of names to find my wife’s name, then seek her out, to share that she felt loved and noticed.

Bottom line, if the pic is appropriate “like it.” If the photo is appropriate just double tap the screen letting your student or leader know you where there. In a fantastic book,  “Lead Small” it mentions showing up randomly as very important to the student. One of the easiest yet personal ways we can show up randomly for a student is through social media. Follow your students on instagram, facebook, twitter, etc. and when they post that picture of them being goofy at school or bored at home, simply “like” it.

It’s become too easy. To show a student you value them simply takes tapping a screen twice, but it means the world to them. I still vote for taking them out for a Starbucks, movie, or attending a school sporting event, these can produce some more time for conversation. Though these outings can be counted as a glue for connecting with and staying connected to the student world, there is something quite invasive yet extremely valuable to a student in simply saying, “I like it”. To the student it means: I’m rooting for you, great job, cool stuff, that’s fun, way to go, I’m a fan!

Quick Tip: Clean out the inbox and keep it clean!

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Here’s a spring cleaning idea everyone needs to take action on. The inbox. Why does it always seem full, overflowing, and feel like you can’t keep up? Because 1/2 of those emails are trash, they need to be thrown away. Only a few hours can save you tons of time in the upcoming year.

Last year I spent a few hours setting up filters for my gmail accounts. This has saved me from headache and all those emails I don’t want from a store I bought something at, or that website I thought I really loved until they emailed me every other day. Sure, you can go through and delete all those emails, or try and track down the mailer and “unsubscribe”, but I find another method extremely helpful. Quit playing defense and set up a spring cleaning system that will keep that mailbox clean year round.

Gmail filters are very easy to use once you get the hang of it.

1. Click on the check box of the email you don’t want.

2. Under the “More” tab click on “filter messages like these”

3. Click on “create a filter with this search”

4. Click on boxes you want to apply, in my case, “delete it” (I never want to see you again!)

5. You can also apply to other similar emails in your inbox, I usually click on “apply filter to current conversations”

6. Click on “create filter” – Boom. You’re done…with that filter, now go make another!

It’s tedious work, but well worth it.

Check out this video if the steps above weren’t clear enough for you, there are a few more ways you can use these filters. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2Bk1Q9OquU

Spring clean your ministry space!

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My house has been through a remodel this year along with trying to make a yard out of a previous overgrown jungle. It seems like we are always spring cleaning at our house, but it feels good. It feels good to donate items to the local goodwill, sell some stuff on craigslist for cash or get those six yard bags to the curb from of all the pruning that was needed.

This isn’t only happening at home but at church too. My first “assignment” in ministry as an intern was to spring clean the church shed. Since then, I do my best to get rid of the things that aren’t needed and avoid piling stuff up in the closets. Student ministries around the country are notorious for hoarding. Don’t be a hoarder! If you haven’t used it in a year, throw it away, sell it or donate it to another ministry. The most uninviting thing a guest or family could experience is your mess, clean it up. Perhaps you need a change of scenery in your space, or you are so used to your mess you don’t see it. Ask others for feedback. You will be amazed at how much easier ministry is when you know where things are at and they are easily accessible. So, what does your storage space look like? If you don’t have storage but need some, how can I help you solve that problem or brainstorm?

Now the hard part, go clean!

Partner with a campus ministry.

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I am super excited about something that happened last week. I sat down with a a former youth worker from my church who also participated on staff with young life. As we chowed down on breakfast tacos I confessed my envy of young life and their fantastic contact work/ministry they do with high school students. I also confessed my frustrations of feeling like I had to compete with this ministry, wanting to see more of these kids plug into the local church, selfishly my local youth group and not just attend a YL club.

After feeling like I revealed my deepest and honest feelings, I then proceeded to share what God had been doing in my heart. I know at the end of the day I will have to give an account to my maker for what I have done with the time given to me, the resources entrusted to me, and the people put in my path. For this season, God has placed almost 2,500 students right down the road not only in the churches path but also young life. We will both stand side by side one day to give an account for the students on that campus. We serve the same God and are both trying to reach students with truth in a relevant way.

So, what is the best thing a local church can do for a campus ministry like young life, FCA, Cru? Find those who are doing the ministry and simply ask the questions, “How can I partner with you?” “How can I serve you?” “What do you need?”

I began this conversation today and already something amazing happened tonight… more to come.

Will leadership sufferings expire you?

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Time-expired-by-Joel-PennerAfter being at my church now for just over 18 months as a youth pastor I have come to the realization that I have reached my expiration date. Yup, the average tenure of student pastors across the nation. But why? In comparison to other jobs and positions held both inside and outside of ministry why only 18 months? We can knock on leadership’s door and ask why and many times the excuses could vary from we can’t have more money for our ministry or more staff to help us do our job, perhaps we just feel like a step-child in the church at times, staff and parents patting us on the back thanking us for “dealing” with the teenagers. I don’t think a student pastor leaves a church or ministry because of the students, budget, or even staffing, it’s simply a leadership thing.

A nugget shared from J. Oswald Sanders in his book, “Spiritual Leadership”…

“True greatness, true leadership, is found in giving yourself in service to others, not in coaxing or inducing others to serve you. True service is never without cost. Often it comes with a bitter cup of challenges and a painful baptism of suffering. For genuine godly leadership weighs carefully Jesus’ question: “Can you drink the cup I drink or be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with?” (Mark 10:38b). The real spiritual leader is focused on the service he and she can render to God and other people, not on the residuals and perks of high office or holy title. We must aim to put more into life than we take out.”

I inherited the leadership of a student ministry with a small handful of dedicated leaders knowing we needed many more to help develop authentic faith for our students… forgetting what was behind and pressing on toward the goal over the last 18 months we now have 45 leaders and volunteers serving in student ministry! And while many give the thumbs up and applaud the numbers, we know it wasn’t just handed us. Take a good hard look at any church or ministry in the world that is growing – growth didn’t happen without painful moments and suffering that cuts deep emotionally and spiritually. In my situation I would say for every one leader recruited there has been a difficult or bitter conversation to be had with another. If anything, I have learned that my leadership sufferings have made me stronger, allowed me to carry more and develop a higher capacity of compassion for others.

The next time a challenge is added to your bitter cup or you experience painful suffering, just know that it’s part of the job description. And if you think quitting your position will excuse you from that, you are simply wrong. Challenges and suffering live at the top of the list when it comes to following the way of Christ. Hang in there, work through the bitterness and find joy on the other side, don’t quit too soon.

GroupMe – A safer way to text & communicate in groups.

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GroupMe_logo_lockup_horizontalI recently had a youth pastor (Marcus Linton) ask me, “I’m looking into getting an app or some sort of program of some sort that would allow me to send out mass/group SMS text messages to my students. Could you help?”

Many student pastors and small group leaders are looking for different ways to communicate with students. I have tried multiple social media methods including facebook, instagram, emails, phone calls, and at the end of the day…drumroll please…the most effective way to reach a student where they are at is through text messaging! 96% of the time a student will check their text message right away.

We live in an era that communication is unfolding at a rapid rate. Though I’m 26 and part of the Y generation where we think anything is possible, and the world is a smaller place due to Internet and communication, I have the hardest time keeping up with the birth rate of technology. There is a new way to communicate every day.

How does this benefit youth ministry? How can we leverage the technology that has been given to us? Well, I have been introduced to GroupMe a few times this past year and believe it is time for us in student ministry to take the dive and try this out. GroupMe is definitely safer than private text messaging, technology can be used for good and bad, especially when it comes to adults communicating with students. There are loopholes with any app, or piece of technology, this one not excused but is much more above reproach than private messaging via text, fb, email, etc. This could be the answer to your problems Marcus, give it a try and let me know if it helps. Here are a few quick facts…

  • It’s FREE! (However, regular text messaging rates apply. Most people have unlimited.)
  • Set up multiple groups (I will be setting up some for my different leader groups) Your small group leaders could set up a GroupMe for their students.
  • Collect money toward an event, project, or purchase – everyone can chip in!
  • MUTE notifications…beware, it will blow up your phone once tons of people start replying. There is a way to MUTE the group so your phone isn’t constantly beeping at you.