Life of a youth pastor .

Orange Tour Dallas

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orange

I had a great opportunity to invest into some of my leaders by taking them to the Orange Tour in Dallas this past week. It was an awarding experience, including some great bonding moments with my volunteers and staff. If you are familiar with the Orange strategy you know what kind of stuff we studied, if you aren’t it’s rather simple – “What if church leaders and parents synchronized their efforts to fuel wonder, discovery and passion in the next generation?” By combining the critical influences of the light of the church (yellow) and the love of the family (red) the Orange Strategy shows a generation who God is more effectively than either could alone.” –www.whatisorange.org

The main focus of the conference was “Lead Small” – what a great focus for my volunteer team, seeing that we don’t have a functioning small group model to offer all of our students currently. This helped pioneer some great discussion and what we will be trying to achieve for our ministry in the year ahead.

My greatest takeaway –

“When you lead change, you decide to make adjustments to present methods for the sake of a sacred mission.”

I love the story that was shared at Orange of a current lead pastor, Carey Nieuwhof, who started ministry in a relatively old church setting. When he came on staff, he walked into one of his first staff meetings and asked the question, “I’ve been driving around Toronto all day trying to tune in on some organ music, I can’t seem to find any, why are we playing organ music on Sunday mornings?” He knew something needed to change in order to reach the current culture – not change the message nor the mission, but rather the method, the style of music being offered.

I pray for all those pastors and ministry leaders that are timid to change programs and think differently about current structure in order to reach the next generation, especially those that don’t have a church home. While the gospel message will always be the aim in my ministry and should continually be our foundation, this generation and culture is changing at a pace that we must keep up with.

Will you lead change for the sake of a sacred mission? For the sake of the next generation in the church?

My Youth Year Resolution: 2013

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New Year 2013Wishing I could have a friendship with each and every student in my ministry is not realistic. Youth pastors are sometimes accused of having a few favorites, taking a special interest in a handful of students and hanging out with them all the time. And while that may be true, the greater truth is that when it comes to 100+ students, you can hardly remember all the names and say “Hi” to each of them on a Sunday morning. Students need more than just a “Hi” each week. Students need someone that is intentionally and consistently investing in their life, taking special interest in their spiritual development as they explore God and mature in their faith journey. I suppose someone needs to play favorites after all, it shouldn’t be solely the role of the youth pastor.

Programs are great teaching moments and momentum boosters, but authentic relationships is the glue of ministry – it keeps people together.

What’s my youth year resolution? In 2013 I plan to launch a small group movement for both middle school and high school students at my church. Connecting a student to an adult that is demonstrating an authentic relationship with God will benefit a student’s growth far more than any program. Life on life discipleship is not a new invention nor will it expire, this is what Jesus displayed for us. He did life with 12 men. He traveled with them, stayed up late with them, explored cities with them, went on camping trips with them, went hiking with them, went sailing with them…talked life with them, spoke truth to them, asked them the hard questions. There is no doubt according to scripture that these were monumental moments for the 12, that’s why we have them in writing.

Your leaders/volunteers may not be Jesus, but they do have the time to spend with students. How will they spend this time? How will they lead their group? What kind of adventures will they go on? Imagine how much impact a Christ following adult could have on 12 teenage lives.

Though I aspire to launch a small group movement for students, it begins with my leaders. Offer a small group or multiple small groups for your leaders – period. This not only helps in laying a foundation for students, but you can better grasp understanding of where they are at in their relationship with God and others. Seeing your leadership in a small group setting on a regular basis will hopefully be reflected in the way that they lead their small group.

Equipping them is key, find multiple ways to make this happen:

  • Get personal. Spend time with each leader, cast vision for them, help them set goals.
  • Develop a small group survival kit for them. More on this later.
  • Take them to a conference or on a retreat. We are going to Orange in January.
  • Show up at small group, let them know in advance. Give them feedback, applause and constructive criticism.

A few books to consider when initiating or developing a small group movement:

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Are you prepared for the attack?

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Perhaps the best time to buy or rent a house is after a storm. A heavy storm. You can see where the house leaks, where it is weak and vulnerable to the attack of the elements. It’s a full house here in NYC and after the big storm last night this truth is all too fresh for my wife and I – we woke up to standing water in her parents basement.  Thankfully, everything is okay and after many loads of laundry and a few laughs we are getting ready for the day.

Now, you don’t usually get to call upon a thunderstorm right before you sign a lease or give a down payment, but soon enough the storm will come. When water starts appearing where it shouldn’t you find yourself on the hunt for leaks, seeps, drips and drops. Finding the source to the weakness and point of attack is crucial. If you do not find the source, or the initial point of attack, you can count on that specific leak coming back with a vengeance, causing more damage than it did originally.

This is a reality that every pastor or youth worker should understand. Let me explain.

Six months ago I inherited a youth ministry. While I would not consider myself “owner” (that’s God) I do feel very responsible to be a good steward of what He has entrusted to me during this season of life.

This ministry has endured a few storms- both prior to my coming and since my arrival- and I have had the opportunity to see its true colors, those areas where it is vulnerable for attack. Now, let’s go back to this morning. My wife and I wake up to standing water. Quickly we react- find a bucket, a towel, a shopvac, anything to maintain the leak and clean up the mess. But we don’t stop there; we search for the source of the leak. Once found, would it make sense to ignore it and go back to sleep? No. After doing damage control one should repair it, patch it, and reinforce it. We need to ensure that water is not going to seep in through that crack ever again.

While water was our enemy this morning, each day every one of us face a craftier enemy – Satan.

For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12 (NLT)

Whether it be people- students, volunteers, fellow staff- or a personal struggle, I guarantee that you will endure attack from the enemy on every level. Your ministry will encounter strong winds, thunderstorms, and possibly a hurricane now and again. Stand your ground. Build your ministry to be ready for the attack.

Here are a few things to keep in mind during an attack:

  • Do not inflict more damage by confusing the damage with the source of attack. I cannot be more straightforward than this: too many times we are quick to blame a person or focus on a current problem rather than searching out the source. Yes, humans do give into temptation, people say mean things, and as a leader people will follow you or rally against you. Perhaps a moral failure will cause dissension in your ministry or even a dark secret revealed will void the return of one of your all-star volunteers. We must remember that Satan is the tempter, the schemer, the one who is unseen and desires to stay unseen. He is plotting us against each other and aiming to tear us apart. Don’t forget your source of attack.
  • You determine how others react. As the leader, people will mirror your reaction to the attack at hand. What you say will be repeated and how you handle the attack will show your team how they should handle the attack. If you have to reveal a weakness or problem area to your team, do so in such a way that points back to the enemy and reminds them that you have hope for the situation. If you do not respond well you may as well pour salt on the wound.
  • Bear up arms against the enemy, be prepared with prayer and scripture. The Apostle Paul knew his enemy and was prepared for the attack. He was not content with simply sitting in defeat but rather found his strength and defense in something more than what the enemy could handle. He used divine communication to call upon the ultimate power! Read 2 Corinthians 10:3-6
  • Victory has been promised. Despite the attack, hold on to the hope we have. Perhaps at times I am too eternally focused, letting the present pass me by. However, there is much hope found in our future as the Church. The enemy will be defeated once and for all – we must consider him as that, a loser. Shedding light on this hope and helping your team think this way can help get you over the hump and past the situation at hand. Spanning thousands of years, your attack is one of many skirmishes on a battlefield of millions.
  • See the unseen. You must always be aware that you will often be unaware – you cannot see everything that takes place. I often pray for Elisha goggles! 2 Kings 6:17 – And Elisha prayed, “O Lord, open his eyes so he may see.” Then the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha. Asking the Lord for wisdom, discernment, foresight, and processing skills is incredibly important.  Pray for these things when you encounter attack or are trying to prevent one. Never underestimate the power of asking for these things.

Tis’ the season: Bucket list NYC!

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My wife and I arrived in New York City last night, Brooklyn to be exact. We are spending the next 10 days with her family, exploring NYC and quick jaunts to meet up with other friends that will be in the area. I have been looking forward to this trip for some time now. When we took the student pastor position at Gateway 6 months ago it was something I requested right away, knowing we would have an incredibly full and busy start in Austin. Well it’s here now and I look forward to relaxing, catching up family, and wiping dust off the old camera to get some shots of the city that are frame worthy.

My bucket list for city isn’t too long, probably because my knowledge is next to none when it comes to everything NYC has to offer. Other than a mission trip for students and a quick proposal to my girlfriend at the time I haven’t had much time to do whatever I wanted in NYC. Here’s what’s on the list thus far, what would you add?!

You only have 7 minutes!

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I remember like it was yesterday…there were donuts, good donuts. And there were people with smiles. We played a game that seemed like semi-organized chaos, boys were throwing crumpled up paper at the girls and the girls were throwing them back at us. I don’t remember a single word the youth pastor said, actually I don’t even remember the youth pastor. One thing is for sure though, I felt welcomed and I wanted to go back. That was 7th grade at the church I grew up at. I had entered the youth group and I didn’t want to leave…and I didn’t, I stuck with it on a weekly basis through graduation of high school. All of those feelings of awkwardness, not belonging or people staring at that pimple on my forehead went away. I was in a place where I felt accepted immediately and had an all access pass to friends, leaders and my youth pastor.

Now I’m the youth pastor and I see an average of 5 guests a week… I want them to get connected and stay connected to God and others. How many guest do you see on a weekly basis? How do you make them feel welcomed? Do they come back?

“Seven minutes is all you get to make a positive first impression.  In the first seven minutes of contact with your church, your first-time guests will know whether or not they are coming back.  That’s before a single worship song is sung and before a single word of the message is uttered.” – Fusion

Fusion has helped me work through some of my “assimilation process” as I strive to make our visitors noticed, welcomed and always invited back to be a part of our group.

As staff, we do an okay job of getting students checked-in, giving them a gift and getting their information. However, I feel like that’s where it starts to unravel. We will call the cell phone number, leave a facebook message…but follow up for students is just down right hard.

FOLLOW UP!
Giving the students a gift or having them fill out an info card is the easy part. Following up and keeping that system alive is tough! What does your follow up process look like? How do you manage it and keep it fresh for students?

Prioritize the TO-DO list.

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  1. If it takes 2 minutes, just do it!
  2. If someone can help, delegate it.
  3. If none of the above, put it on the calendar.

Every night I go home with a to-do list that is never complete. I dream big and know that my list will always out do me when push comes shove. Can you relate? The to-do’s will keep coming and we will never truly finish having to-do’s, but how would it feel to have the list prioritized so you spend more time getting things done rather than feeling at loss or defeated? Getting Things Done, this book has been a huge help in prioritizing my to-do list and has helped me develop a mindset of priority in a role that requires endless decisions to be made and a process for my many tasks to be completed.This chart is referenced in the book…put all of your to-do’s through this model and see what happens.

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Driving students to get their license!

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Roughly 28% of 16 year olds were obtaining their driver’s license in the year of 2010. Thant’s 3 out of every 10 students! The number of students getting their license continues to drop.

I have had countless conversations with students, parents and staff over the past year about how students these days just aren’t eager to get behind the wheel. Why is that? I remember not only learning how to drive on back roads well before getting my permit but rushing to the DMV on my 15th birthday to make it legal. For students today I thought it was a lackadaisical problem. According to research I found in popular mechanics this month it sounds like students are finding contentment in technology rather than the roaring engine or independence behind the wheel. Getting the keys from mom or dad at the age of 16 five to ten years ago meant freedom from home, to go where your friends were.

I suspect that social media bringing friends to our fingertips has underwhelmed the desire for teens to have face to face meetings, hangouts and relationships. While students hide behind the computer or smart phone the roads are slower to grow with young drivers. Our students are becoming less mobile and relying on mom and dad longer for rides. My heart goes out to those students who settle for experiencing life through technology rather than face to face relationships. Getting a student behind the wheel with proper driver’s education can pay huge dividends – helping them get a job, understand responsibility at a higher level, rely less on mom and dad to do for them what they can do for themselves.

Teach them how to drive:

  • Teach them how in a clunker, not in mom or dad’s mercedes.
  • Teach them manual before automatic. It’s something I learned later on, but so grateful I know how. I actually prefer a manual.
  • Show them how to check fluids, change a flat, and change the oil. This will save them big bucks and keep them from being scammed by a mechanic.
  • Parallel parking. Need I say more?
  • My parents set curfew for me the first few years I had my license, not a bad idea.

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Was Camp a Success?

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I have been to dozens of camps both as a student, volunteer and pastor. This past weekend I had the privilege of speaking at a camp in northern Georgia. My buddy Tim Tullis, a junior high pastor at a church in Knoxville invited me to spend the weekend with him and his students. Camp was a blast, I enjoyed the students and absolutely loved the camp. It confirmed that you can pull off a 6-12 camp for students in how you organize their time at camp, a schedule for HS and one for MS. The setting was truly an escape from reality, nestled in the Blue Ridge Mountains, I would highly recommend Woodlands Camp for any youth group looking for a camp setting in the south/east.

Though I thoroughly enjoyed speaking at the camp, I had the great privilege of participating in a 7th grade boys cabin talk one night. Hearing them say things like, “I need to apologize to my parents for the way I act” shows me they have a group of friends hearing them out, trusting them, and participating in life change when it happens –  there was some really great conversation! Sitting in the small group and hearing the the boys reflect on the things I shared in the large session really solidified some thoughts on camp. Students will run around, play crazy games, eat that awesome camp food and even take notes in the main session BUT the life change is happening in small groups. Talking with my team at staff meeting this week  my convictions were confirmed. Much of our time is spent programming for the main program, energy spent developing games, we make sure to provide students with enough free time – and cabin time becomes “whatever you guys want to talk about.” There should always be room for the whatever in a small group, but the whatever is hopefully guided toward the essentials of one’s faith journey.

When a youth group comes off of a mountain top experience, like camp, many students experience life change. They have encountered and dealt with some big things in their life and focused on their relationship with God for a solid 3-5 days. What helped make that life change a success?

  • Proximity – Take a student out of their element and put them in an environment that is not regular to them. Getting a student away from the computer, cell phone, their favorite CD allows their mind to think about other things in the present such as God and the people around them. When you take a student out of their normal routine it allows them to zoom out and get a panoramic view of life.
  • Scheduled God Time – For the most part, students hardly spend time with God or thinking about God outside their regular program(s) or small groups that the church facilitates for them. With 2 sessions a day, personal devotions, and cabin talks – scheduled time for students to rest in God’s word and think about their relationship with Him make a HUGE impact over a few days at camp.
  • Small Groups – This is where success happens at camp. It is not only the conversations that happen in the cabin but the intentionality of taking that stuff home as a small group and continue the conversation. The camp speaker is NOT the focal point, but merely someone who primes the pump and begins the conversation for greater conversation among established relationships.

Final Thought

If much of the camp’s success is dictated on followup with small groups, how can we better aim at equipping our small groups and leaders for the long haul when returning home? If you haven’t participated in a small group in some time but lead the direction for them you are missing out. It is incredibly important to take constant pulse checks on your small groups to better serve them and provide resources to help students get connected and stay connected.

Juggling Rocket Ships.

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What goes up must come down…so the saying goes. But what about the rocket ship? If it goes high enough it will reach zero gravity and stay in orbit for a long time! That ship is not coming back down unless given a force in the opposite direction in from which it came.

In ministry, don’t you wish you were juggling with rocket ships?! What some of us would give, to know that we could throw a task so high that it succeeds in flight and all we need to do is keep an eye on it, making sure the flight pattern is on the right path.

Often pastors, staff, and volunteers throw one ball up at a time just for it to come back down. One area of your ministry needs help, attention, a process – you spend hours, days and even weeks helping it succeed. Just when you think you have thrown that ball high enough you see many others speeding at you like asteroids about to hit your ministry. You have now lost focus of the one ball you spent so much time with! And very soon, it too will be speeding back at you.

I’m not here to say I have the answers to this juggling act, but rather offer some sympathy and encouragement…

I know ministry is exhausting at times, find strength in the Spirit. I understand you are frustrated, find contentment in the Gospel.  I recognize you are probably not getting the results you desire at the moment, find fulfillment and joy in being a child of God!

What are you juggling right now? Budgets, retreats, capital campaigns, small groups, recruiting leaders, meeting with students, parents, equipping volunteers, casting vision for staff, writing messages for Sunday. I’m right there with you.  So, how do I juggle these tasks? I recognize that the Spirit has given each one of my staff, leaders and volunteers a gift. I play to their strengths. You are not alone in ministry…so don’t do ministry alone!

How am I currently juggling? I try to begin with prayer, knowing that God is ultimately responsible here. “God, give me someone to oversee this check-in process.” Now you have to act! Seek out people who have a gift of hospitality – put them in charge of overseeing your greeting and check-in process. This one person can focus on the one ball of greeting. Seek out who has a gift of humor, I strongly believe God has created some people to be more funny than others…and every student ministry needs one. Have this person focus on the one ball of games. I am a partnering students with these adults in the juggling act, help share the load and feel the ownership. I would strongly discourage you from just putting anyone in a postion of coaching or ownership in an area of your ministry, make sure they are qualified, passionate about that specific area, and gifted in that way. It is better to keep looking than try to find a quick fix!

As these teams develop, you do not get a free ride. In some cases, your position becomes more difficult. You will have to learn how to explain your vision, desires, why’s and how to’s, when it comes to juggling. Hopefully, somewhere along the way you aren’t the one juggling all the balls that make up your ministry. You have gone from juggler to aircraft control tower – directing the airspace in your ministry where your rocket ships have launched and are flying high!

I am praying for all the pastors out there today who are juggling away.  I pray that God guides you to people who hold gifts and passions that your ministry needs to successfully launch!

If you are really interested in learning how to juggle, take a shot at it!

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Join the Experiment!

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You wake up, pour some coffee and before you are out the door to your first meeting your phone alarm goes off, it’s a reminder to stay connected to God. The reminder is customizable to your schedule when you are awake, every hour you get a verse from the Bible. Sixty days with God every hour you are awake, the sixty-sixty experiment. For dedicated believers or even pastors it can be difficult to make your relationship with God a priority with all the distractions your day will offer.

Our church is in the middle of the series “Soul Revolution” and the sixty-sixty experiment. I would encourage any one whether they are near or far from God to download the app for free and give it a try (Soul Revolution). If you don’t have a smart phone, all you need to participate is a watch you can program to beep every hour.

To make the experiment a little bit more student friendly, I did my best to get into their world. Almost every student carries a binder to school and opens it every day, multiple times a day – including at home when they do homework. We created binder inserts. The inserts were cut in half, laminated and 3-hole punched. We passed them out at the beginning of the experiment and encouraged students to put them in the front of their binder. I’m considering making inserts for other big series in the future. I’d be happy to share this resource with you, here is a link to my public dropbox folder containing the binder inserts.

Have you participated in the sixty-sixty experiment? Let’s hear your story!

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