Ready your room! (DIY1.10)

April 11, 2013 by Chris Parker 2 Comments

This is in response to a former article I wrote on DIY Student Ministry. This is the first of ten areas that I’m covering in this series.

It’s Sunday morning and students start pouring into your room for the program. The lights are stuck on some weird pink color, the woofer is pumping so loud that the gray haired people are coming and asking you to turn it down, and for whatever reason that projector keeps flashing “replace bulb”. So what do you do? Well, this isn’t the first Sunday all of this has happened, its actually a rut you find yourself in and you carry on like usual and yet somehow seem to “make it work” for your students and leaders.

I know the feeling all too well, this has happened to me in multiple environments and I’ve seen many student pastors fall victim to a room that is not functioning properly for them. Here’s the good news, this is not a DIY project! There is an army of students, parents, technicians, other staff, leaders, volunteers that are willing to help. Here is the secret of all secrets, “MAKE THE ASK!” Letting down your pride and letting others into your problem areas can only help the process get better, misery loves company right?! But seriously, you need to move away from these items so that you can connect with people.

Here are a few simple truths or common practices that have helped me:

Turn that music on! Music seems to make any set up better, whether you are rushed for time or not.
Setting up chairs. Don’t do this alone, there are too many people to help. Don’t waste your time.
Get off the ladder, and away from “isolation” projects. You need to be connecting with people.
If you are handcuffed to the sound booth, you just built a wall (literally) between you and the people you need to be connecting with. Think outside this box.
Students can run slides, cameras, lights, and even sound sometimes. They just need someone to invite them into the process, teach them how and then let them own it.
Take one day a month to spend in your space outside of programming time. Pray for creativity, tidy up the room, think about new ways you can use your space.
Set up for your program a day or days before. I use a shared space, the days that I can get in there before and prep the room for program I am WAY ahead of the game when it comes to the programming day for my students. My mind is clear of prep work and focused on equipping, encouraging, and empowering my leaders and students.
Recruit. Be specific when recruiting leaders/volunteers. Have one own stage design, another own Audio/Visual, yet another check-in process. When people’s responsibilities start to blur lines you will lose quality and assurance that the specific area is going to be taken care of.

DIY SM – Do it yourself student ministry!

April 8, 2013 by Chris Parker 23 Comments

Confession, I’m guilty of reading Popular Mechanics magazine. I love to find articles on do-it-yourself (DIY) projects around the house. Whether its staining the wood trim around our windows or changing the oil on my motorcycle, I find it fascinating to learn and do things on my own.

While time alone and DIY projects are life giving to me…I know that doing student ministry alone is not! I hope you would agree with me that student ministry was not created for the student pastor. The student ministry is not a DIY project for one to carry all alone.

Student ministry is not about you! It is not about what you accomplish, it is not about the best message you ever gave, and it is certainly not about the youth space or branding that you have created for students. At the end of your term as student pastor, you will eventually be forgotten and replaced. That might seem a little harsh, but its the truth. Remembering that student ministry is not about you, and keeping that in front of you, will only benefit your ministry and expand its reach. Only when you have this mindset are you able to truly empower your volunteers and students do some ministry of their own.

You may be thinking, “If I want things done right, then I need to do it myself.” Get over it. When you empower others to do ministry you relinquish your rights to be the “do-er” but you don’t relinquish your rights to be the visionary. Practice painting the picture for people, and let them do it! It won’t be done the way you would do it, but more is being accomplished overall through others than if you run a DIY SM. Many times I have found that when I empower someone else…whether it be a mom, dad, student, or fellow staff member…they do a far better job than what I could have done myself! The best memories in student ministry are made when many hands work together, making the job light, everyone is participating by putting their best foot forward in an area that needs attention. Healthy teamwork within your ministry is necessary in moving things forward.

Here is a list of to-do’s that many student pastors (including myself) are guilty of when it comes down to a DIY SM:

Readying the room. Setting out chairs, turning on lights, music, etc.
Finding or creating a game and leading it.
Stage design…hours can be spent doing this.
Creating and maintaining a visitor followup process.
Social media interaction – FB, Twitter, Instagram. Following & liking student posts.
Trip/Retreat research. Lodging, meals, travel.
Helping create or maintain a student band.
Supply run. Need I say more?
Liaisons between your church and local schools.
Project planning and recruiting for the BIG event.

…and the list could go on and on. As the student pastor you can’t do it all on your own. Empower your people!

After writing this article I feel compelled to write out a few thoughts on each item listed above. Stay tuned.

Question for you: What has been your biggest mistake or learning point in a DIY project? Whether in ministry or personally?

Redefining Youth Ministry in a Postmodern Culture

March 7, 2013 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

If you find yourself constantly saying, “We need leaders!” – “We need more money for our budget!” Then this article is for you. It was highly encouraging to me as a student pastor and explains clearly what I’m striving for in my current role to reach the students of today…it’s a lengthy read but worth every minute!

Thanks Dr. Duane Smith for authoring such a great article.

Redefining Youth Ministry in a Postmodern Culture, Revitalizing Reformed Churches

by Duane Smith

INTRODUCTION

We are living in confusing times. Many culture watchers are convinced that our society is undergoing a transformation of broad proportions. This cultural shift goes by various designations. Some observers tell us we are in the throes of a transition from a Christian to a post-Christian era. Others declare we are moving from a Constantinian to a post-Constantinian situation. But the most widely used description suggests we are witnessing the emergence of a “postmodern” society. Whatever may be the preferred nomenclature, the various voices are in agreement that the cultural shift now transpiring carries grave implications for the church.¹

These thoughts of Stanley Grenz, former professor at Carey Theological Seminary, Vancouver, BC, in the preface to Making Sense Out Of Church, provoke us to rethink the effectiveness of our current ministry paradigms. The “grave implications” to which Grenz refers are evident to those involved in youth ministry. Many of our congregations seem stuck in “cultural lag,” a slow or delayed response to changing paradigms, resulting in the loss of relevance or impact, particularly with younger generations. Even when churches seek to understand these postmodern shifts, most struggle with simply “keeping up” in a rapidly shifting youth culture. Cultural analysts note that in the 1980s and early 1990s, the landscape of youth culture shifted significantly about every six to seven years; today this shift seems to occur every three years.

Recent statistics regarding baptized youth also reveal evidence of cultural lag. Approximately eight out of ten adolescents will leave their RCA or CRC roots within a year of high school graduation. Certainly this is one factor affecting the forty-year plus membership decline within the RCA, yet it’s a factor we have not addressed well. Revitalization efforts, if effective at reversing this decline, must embrace the reality that our static youth ministry efforts are not effective in the long term. Although solutions will not come easily, we must begin to elevate youth ministry as a higher priority. We are losing connection with today’s generation. We will likely continue to die as congregations and denominations unless we pay serious attention to this issue.

We Need Courage and Wisdom to
Embrace a Changing World

Most researchers and authors currently exploring the postmodern shift recognize the enormity of the challenge before us. Creating and implementing new and effective youth ministry models will be demanding work. Ron Hutchcraft, a thirty-year veteran of student and family ministry, calls the challenge we face “a battle for a generation.” “Youth ministry, Jesus-style, requires the courage to leave our comfort zone and plunge into the surf and storm as he did.” Hutchcraft further notes that “if this generation is lost, it won’t be because the world is more powerful than we are, or has something better to offer. It will be the result of not showing up. We won’t lose by fighting. We will lose by forfeit.”²

We Must Elevate Youth Ministry to a
Status of Higher Priority

Traditionally, youth ministry has not received priority attention within our churches. Recent analysis of the churches within the RCA Synod of the Great Lakes revealed that the average congregation invests less than 7% of its operating budget in youth ministry,3 even though according to George Barna, 41% of those who comprise American churches are 18 years of age or younger.4 In some cases, less than $500 is annually allocated for youth ministry efforts. Additionally, further polling reveals that only one in ten churches claims to have a vibrant youth ministry. Likewise, the profession of youth ministry has been one of the lowest paying vocational careers in America. In some cases, those in professional youth ministry receive a compensation package that is 60% less than other similar professions requiring the same level of education.

A Re-Imagined Paradigm is Needed

If eight out of ten baptized youth are exiting our churches soon after high school graduation, the time for change has come. Old paradigms of ministry are no longer effective. For instance, during the 1980s and 1990s, many youth ministries were built on the “field of dreams” concept, i.e., “if you build it they will come.” The idea was to create an impressive facility with “bells and whistles” that would “attract” community youth while keeping covenant youth excited. Today, there seems little we can build that will attract students. Most do not care if we have great auditoriums and nice game rooms. What they long for are authentic relationships that dive deep into spiritual understanding. (Developing meaningful relationships is the one constant that has not and will not change in effective youth ministry.)

We need a few churches to become innovative leaders in youth ministry development, churches that will move outside the box of traditional ministry and embrace innovative strategies that engage youth in the cause of Christ. The average congregation invests less than 7% of its operating budget in youth ministry. Larger churches must begin to share their resource wealth with smaller churches. This means that we must break down the walls that separate churches in our communities and explore community-based youth ministry approaches. When it comes to youth ministry, most of our churches are segregated and dysfunctional at best. Rarely have our congregations worked together with any sense of synergy. We live in communities where 50% or more of the youth are now unchurched, yet we remain isolated and ineffective.

Churches with innovative youth ministries then can become centers for youth ministry development, effectively cultivating and training leaders to coach and mentor youth. At the same time, our denominations must take the lead in advocating fair and equal treatment of youth workers, keeping these leaders engaged in kingdom work instead of sending them packing because of economic hardship. We must embrace our mission as “going into the world” instead of waiting for lost youth to find our church doors.

The biggest challenge will be articulating a new or revised paradigm that works. Webster’s Dictionary defines paradigm as “a set of assumptions, concepts, values and practices that constitutes a way of viewing reality for the community that shares them.” What core assumptions, values, and practices might we need for developing a pardadigm of youth ministry within our postmodern context? In his book Unfreezing Moves, Bill Easum argues that congregations must break out of a mere maintenance model and move into a missional model of ministry in general. He writes,

Most Protestant congregations are stuck in the muck and mire of their institutions with little or no movement toward joining Jesus on the mission field. To them faithfulness means supporting their church and keeping it open. For them to be faithful to their God-given mission, they must be freed up from their slavery to their institutions to live for others on the mission field, freed up to function in a constantly changing world.⁵

RETHINKING YOUTH MINISTRY

God is a God of mission. The Father sent the Son in the power of the Holy Spirit to reconcile the world to God. As God sent Jesus, so Jesus sends the Church to be ambassadors of reconciliation in the world. Thus Jesus provides the primary model for missional youth ministry. The Gospel narratives suggest that Jesus’ ministry was characterized by clarity of purpose and the practices of teaching, equipping, and sending. More specifically, we can note the following about Jesus’ ministry:

He was clear about his mission.
He invested in twelve and had a very close relationship with three.
He journeyed with them through life.
He taught more outside the classroom than in the classroom.
He modeled what he taught, allowing his followers to engage faith in action.
He challenged them as emerging leaders to move beyond their current capabilities.
He ultimately transferred ministry responsibility to them.

These aspects of Jesus’ ministry can be translated into guidelines for a missional youth ministry today.

Articulating a Clear Mission and Vision

Most churches, although unconsciously affirming the value of youth ministry, have never clearly articulated why their youth ministry exists. Without a defined mission and purpose, many churches find themselves “shooting in the dark,” hoping to somehow hit the target. As our statistics indicate, many miss. Clarity of mission must accompany conviction regarding the necessity of youth ministry. Clearly articulating a youth ministry mission and vision is the starting point that ultimately can lead to the development of strategic, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely goals.

Identifying a Wider Target Group

Today’s adolescents face adult challenges and temptations at younger and younger ages. What were once typical experiences for high school and collegeage students are now typical for middle schoolers. Walt Mueller, president of the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding, refers to this shift as “age compression.” Age compression is created, in large part, by the media and popular culture. According to Mueller, “marketers have used [age compression] as a strategy to expand a product’s market by pushing adult-type products, values and attitudes on kids at younger ages. What’s resulted is an environment where what used to be for 18-year-olds is now for six-year olds, who are increasingly dressing, talking and acting like yesterday’s 18-year-olds.”⁶

Therefore pilot churches testing new paradigms of youth ministry must focus on younger students, especially those in fifth through eighth grades. We are losing connection with today’s generation. We will likely continue to die as congregations and denominations unless we pay serious attention to this issue. Additionally, we can no longer approach ninth through twelfth grades together. Both research and the experience of youth workers suggest that the first two years of high school are radically different from the last two years. The typical “youth group” approach does not connect with eleventh and twelfth graders. These adolescents today are more interested in leadership roles and mission opportunities.

We also need to expand our youth ministry efforts to include late adolescents and young adults post high school, ages eighteen to twenty-four. This group seems to be all but forgotten within many RCA and CRC congregations. While some in this age range take on leadership roles in youth ministry, a high percentage slip through cracks and exit our congregations.

Equipping a Team to Invest in Youth

Youth ministry leadership that connects relevantly with adolescents fifth grade through post high school requires that we move past the mindset that one paid professional or vocational youth leader can adequately do the job. Typically, churches hire vocational youth workers who are young and highly relational, thus able to attract students with a magnetic personality. This fits with the “if you build it they will come” paradigm. However, this leader type often fails to produce long term results. Administrative and organizational responsibilities are a challenge, and the young, inexperienced youth worker lacks the maturity and experience to develop a strong volunteer team. These youth workers are often short-term, leaving their positions within one to three years. Students who develop a close friendship with this type of leader feel abandoned, and since volunteer leaders are not adequately trained, the youth ministry is placed on hold until the next star is hired. Consequently, the next youth worker arrives with new dreams and ideas but encounters skeptical students, all wondering how long this one will stay. Churches continue to spin their youth ministry wheels, while never gaining long term traction.

We must rethink the role of the “hired” youth worker. The youth worker should not be viewed as a “hired gun” to do the work of youth ministry for the congregation. Instead, the youth worker must be seen as a team facilitator, similar to that of a coach. The model of ministry as coaching is supported by developments in leadership theory. Easum writes,

A new understanding of organization is emerging, born out of quantum physics, chaos theory, and a return to biblical principles of organization. The thrust of this theory is team ministry, built around a gift-based, permission- giving, servant-empowered approach to leadership. The role of leadership is to provide an atmosphere of trust and permission so people can follow God’s leading rather than the will of a handful of people who try to control everything that happens.⁷

Implementing a gift-based style of youth ministry leadership within RCA and CRC structures will require significant change in our current systems. As mentioned above, we must deconstruct the concept of hiring a “director” that somehow will be “all things to all students.” The typical director excels in some areas of ministry but struggles in others areas in which he or she lacks skill and passion. This inevitably leaves “leadership voids and holes” within any youth ministry infrastructure. In contrast, gift-based team leadership allows a ministry director to excel in areas where he or she is gifted. This model creates space for others to utilize and express their gifts within the greater whole, a much more well-balanced approach. In the business world, this concept is often referred to as synergy, “the interaction of two or more agents or forces so that their combined effect is greater than the sum of their individual efforts.” Today’s effective youth leader (vocational or volunteer) knows both how to mobilize a team and how to create and foster synergy within a team.

By revisiting Jesus’ ministry model, we can conclude that a minimum of one effectively trained youth leader is needed for every twelve potential students that a congregation is seeking to reach. The role of the “hired” director/facilitator now becomes identifying, recruiting, equipping, deploying, and coaching youth ministry apprentices and leaders. In this paradigm, the “volunteers” are championed equally with the trained and equipped “youth leaders,” as they are entrusted to invest relationally in the lives of a small group of teens (rather than just serving punch and cookies in the back of the room).

Deep Relational Ministry–The Heart
of Jesus’ Ministry Model

Jesus invested in twelve seemingly average people. He journeyed with them through life. He spent significant, quality time with them. He became vulnerable and transparent on both good days and challenging days. His disciples saw him angry, grieving, distressed, lonely, disappointed, struggling over God’s plan, and praying that there could be another way. They saw him live faith and daily “work out” his relationship with the Father. We might say that field trips were a valuable component of his mentoring. Seldom did he use a classroom or a building.

When we compare this kind of intense interaction with the amount of time that youth ministers (let alone ministers in general) interact with young people, the latter seems woefully inadequate. Popular culture has far more interaction with adolescents than youth workers. According to Walt Mueller, adolescents engage popular culture for approximately twenty-five hours each week,⁸ while the average youth leader spends one or two hours with the same students. How is it that we truly expect any degree of lifechanging impact?

Time is not the only issue to be addressed when developing relational youth ministry. We must also change the kinds of interactions we have with adolescents. The three-point, carefully articulated, theological argument, packaged in a thirtyminute lecture is a “terribly boring package.” Yet we continue to see many youth leaders and pastors frozen in this “talking head” teaching methodology. We dismiss the youth and say “see you next week.” The youth worker should not be viewed as a “hired gun” to do the work of youth ministry for the congregation. Instead, the youth worker must be seen as a team facilitator, similar to that of a coach. Hutchcraft writes, “Too often we expect a teen to be attracted to Christ through approaches that he or she probably considers irrelevant, uninteresting, and culturally foreign. Then we interpret this disinterest as rejection of Christ when, in reality, he may be rejecting the package in which we have presented him.”⁹

Today’s youth are interested in spiritual realities. The church must learn to connect spiritually with this generation in new ways. Conversations with post high school adolescents who remain active and involved in their congregations suggest that they stay engaged because of two factors. The first is authentic relationships, often cultivated through the context of middle school and high school ministries that utilized small groups. In most cases, these small groups were facilitated by one or two caring adults who invested in the teens outside of youth group or church functions. The second factor for their continued involvement in the church is that these older adolescents and young adults felt valued by their church. Each was given meaningful leadership and service roles within a gift-based, servant-empowered environment.

Jesus Challenged Them
as Emerging Leaders

Jesus never forced belief on his disciples. Instead he looked for teachable moments. He seized life opportunities to challenge the disciples’ faith, creating and cultivating an environment where meaningful questions could be pondered. He used illustrations and stories, tying real life situations and faith together. He provided space for them to wrestle through issues that did not make immediate sense, and he never became angry when they “didn’t get it.” He could see their potential beyond their current condition.

Today’s teens are under-challenged. Too often we conclude that youth are only interested in eating pizza, playing video games, or being entertained. Yet youth today are quite interested in questions of faith, social issues, or helping a friend through his or her parents’ divorce. As we rethink youth ministry in our Reformed settings, we must interact within adolescents’ real life settings. We must create challenging opportunities for them to discover their potential (God’s call) within the framework of a real life context–e.g., through extended, inter-generational mission trips.

Jesus Ultimately Transferred
Responsibility to Them

Jesus imparted responsibility to his disciples, ultimately trusting this rag-tag group to build the church. Here is where a massive paradigm shift is necessary. Serious questions must be asked regarding the viability of our static, Reformed church infrastructures. Why is it that all aspects of our churches are controlled by adults? Why is it that youth seldom have a voice? Why is it that youth do not serve in many leadership roles? Why is it that systems are lacking to help youth discover and implement their spiritual gifts? Why it is that youth ministry often receives the budget “leftovers”? It is within these “adultcontrolled environments” that perhaps the greatest disconnect occurs between the church and youth. Because there are so few opportunities for youth and young adults to connect through leadership and service roles, many, upon high school graduation, feel lost, with no purpose or reason to remain involved. They conclude that they are not wanted or needed. So it’s not surprising that many “check out” between the years of eighteen and twenty- four. As part of a redefined ministry context, student leadership development, accompanied by opportunities to serve, must become a high priority in every RCA and CRC church.

From Awareness to Action

Youth ministry must be redefined. No one church has it down to a science. No one approach will work in all congregations. And so we find ourselves faced with an exciting yet daunting challenge. Will we take the effort to rethink and redefine youth ministry, or will we continue to watch younger generations disconnect from our churches? Statistics verify that time is not necessarily on our side.

The purpose of this article has been to raise awareness and foster greater action. Although time tested solutions are not offered, rethinking youth ministry by revisiting Jesus’ model seems like the logical starting point. As we extrapolate from this model, I believe we can begin to build a framework that will reconnect us with younger generations. Student leadership development, engagement in missions and social action, and the creation of authentic communities that foster meaningful theological reflection and action will be part of the equation. The result can and should be revitalized congregations and Reformed denominations, a people gathered, equipped, empowered, and sent to be the presence of Christ in this world.

ENDNOTES:
¹ Stanley M. Grenze, “Foreward” in Making Sense Out Of Church, Spencer Burke (Zondervan, 2003), 15.
² Ron Hutchcraft, The Battle For A Generation (Moody Press, 1996), 12, 13.
³ Duane Smith, “Summary Information: Surveys Gathered by Eaglecrest Youth Ministry Services,” January 2000.
⁴ George Barna, Transforming Children into Spiritual Champions (Gospel Light, 1999), 56.
⁵ Bill Easum, Unfreezing Moves (Abingdon Press, 2001), 10.
⁶ Walt Mueller, Engaging the Soul of Youth Culture (InterVarsity Press, 2006), 86.
⁷ Easum, 44
⁸ Walt Mueller, “More than Music” (seminar presented at the National Youth Worker’s Convention, St. Louis, MO, November 2004).
⁹ Hutchcraft, 44.

Duane Smith is the coordinator for youth ministries in the Great Lakes Synod (RCA). He also serves as a youth ministry consultant for congregations throughout the United States.

What are your thoughts? Agreements? Disagreements? Ideas?

Listen to “their” music…just push play.

February 4, 2013 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

Music is not what it use to be. If the Beatles are still your favorite band then we need to talk. The music conversation is one that most youth pastors will have with a senior pastor, fellow staff member, student band member or even a parent. I remember a parent asking me recently, “Do you think it’s okay if my daughter listens to Taylor Swift?” Here’s the reality, as a parent or a youth pastor…most of the students out there are listening to a secular radio station your city plays or quickly downloading the hottest #1 release on the digital market. If that’s not the case of your child or student, they will still hear this stuff around their friends or when they go out. While it might not be your taste, visit a radio station that plays music with bad words being bleeped out, lyrics about one night stands and a beat you can’t understand. Here is what you need to remember – this is “their” music. This is what students listen to, this is what their friends listen to. These are the lyrics that are filling up their minds, driving their emotions, and even affecting their decision making. The chorus that sings about love, will be one of the ways they think about and interpret love as a teenager. Their favorite lead musician may appear to have it all together, this is literally a rockstar they look up to – they want to sing like them, dress like them, talk like them.

Surprisingly, there is still some clean secular music out there and when you find it… you should play it. Play it in the home. Play it as students are walking into church. Play it on the bus as you travel on your mission trip. Play the music video at camp. Students appreciate you knowing their music, and keeping up with their taste. When you play the clean stuff you are affirming and encouraging that specific song or artist. When you choose certain songs or decline particular song requests, this allows for honest conversation in why you chose these artists/songs rather than others. Avoiding the subject all together and just playing what you want is not an option.

I’m guilty of listening to plenty of songs that are irrelevant in today’s student culture. I’m an old soul. When I say to a student that I like listening to The Eagles, Marty Robbins, or some Johnny Cash they look at me real funny. So here is the challenge to you and me, find that radio station playing all the current rock/pop and just push play. Give it a whole week. Reflect on the lyrics, better understand the culture they are living in and what they are listening to. Find the fun and clean songs, write them down, download them, add them to your playlist.

I’m sure there is way more to this conversation…what do agree or disagree with? How do you feel about the challenge? What were the results if you did try this?

Orange Tour Dallas

January 30, 2013 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

I had a great opportunity to invest into some of my leaders by taking them to the Orange Tour in Dallas this past week. It was an awarding experience, including some great bonding moments with my volunteers and staff. If you are familiar with the Orange strategy you know what kind of stuff we studied, if you aren’t it’s rather simple – “What if church leaders and parents synchronized their efforts to fuel wonder, discovery and passion in the next generation?” By combining the critical influences of the light of the church (yellow) and the love of the family (red) the Orange Strategy shows a generation who God is more effectively than either could alone.” –www.whatisorange.org

The main focus of the conference was “Lead Small” – what a great focus for my volunteer team, seeing that we don’t have a functioning small group model to offer all of our students currently. This helped pioneer some great discussion and what we will be trying to achieve for our ministry in the year ahead.

My greatest takeaway –

“When you lead change, you decide to make adjustments to present methods for the sake of a sacred mission.”

I love the story that was shared at Orange of a current lead pastor, Carey Nieuwhof, who started ministry in a relatively old church setting. When he came on staff, he walked into one of his first staff meetings and asked the question, “I’ve been driving around Toronto all day trying to tune in on some organ music, I can’t seem to find any, why are we playing organ music on Sunday mornings?” He knew something needed to change in order to reach the current culture – not change the message nor the mission, but rather the method, the style of music being offered.

I pray for all those pastors and ministry leaders that are timid to change programs and think differently about current structure in order to reach the next generation, especially those that don’t have a church home. While the gospel message will always be the aim in my ministry and should continually be our foundation, this generation and culture is changing at a pace that we must keep up with.

Will you lead change for the sake of a sacred mission? For the sake of the next generation in the church?

My Youth Year Resolution: 2013

December 31, 2012 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

Wishing I could have a friendship with each and every student in my ministry is not realistic. Youth pastors are sometimes accused of having a few favorites, taking a special interest in a handful of students and hanging out with them all the time. And while that may be true, the greater truth is that when it comes to 100+ students, you can hardly remember all the names and say “Hi” to each of them on a Sunday morning. Students need more than just a “Hi” each week. Students need someone that is intentionally and consistently investing in their life, taking special interest in their spiritual development as they explore God and mature in their faith journey. I suppose someone needs to play favorites after all, it shouldn’t be solely the role of the youth pastor.

Programs are great teaching moments and momentum boosters, but authentic relationships is the glue of ministry – it keeps people together.

What’s my youth year resolution? In 2013 I plan to launch a small group movement for both middle school and high school students at my church. Connecting a student to an adult that is demonstrating an authentic relationship with God will benefit a student’s growth far more than any program. Life on life discipleship is not a new invention nor will it expire, this is what Jesus displayed for us. He did life with 12 men. He traveled with them, stayed up late with them, explored cities with them, went on camping trips with them, went hiking with them, went sailing with them…talked life with them, spoke truth to them, asked them the hard questions. There is no doubt according to scripture that these were monumental moments for the 12, that’s why we have them in writing.

Your leaders/volunteers may not be Jesus, but they do have the time to spend with students. How will they spend this time? How will they lead their group? What kind of adventures will they go on? Imagine how much impact a Christ following adult could have on 12 teenage lives.

Though I aspire to launch a small group movement for students, it begins with my leaders. Offer a small group or multiple small groups for your leaders – period. This not only helps in laying a foundation for students, but you can better grasp understanding of where they are at in their relationship with God and others. Seeing your leadership in a small group setting on a regular basis will hopefully be reflected in the way that they lead their small group.

Equipping them is key, find multiple ways to make this happen:

Get personal. Spend time with each leader, cast vision for them, help them set goals.
Develop a small group survival kit for them. More on this later.
Take them to a conference or on a retreat. We are going to Orange in January.
Show up at small group, let them know in advance. Give them feedback, applause and constructive criticism.

A few books to consider when initiating or developing a small group movement:

Are you prepared for the attack?

December 27, 2012 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

Perhaps the best time to buy or rent a house is after a storm. A heavy storm. You can see where the house leaks, where it is weak and vulnerable to the attack of the elements. It’s a full house here in NYC and after the big storm last night this truth is all too fresh for my wife and I – we woke up to standing water in her parents basement. Thankfully, everything is okay and after many loads of laundry and a few laughs we are getting ready for the day.

Now, you don’t usually get to call upon a thunderstorm right before you sign a lease or give a down payment, but soon enough the storm will come. When water starts appearing where it shouldn’t you find yourself on the hunt for leaks, seeps, drips and drops. Finding the source to the weakness and point of attack is crucial. If you do not find the source, or the initial point of attack, you can count on that specific leak coming back with a vengeance, causing more damage than it did originally.

This is a reality that every pastor or youth worker should understand. Let me explain.

Six months ago I inherited a youth ministry. While I would not consider myself “owner” (that’s God) I do feel very responsible to be a good steward of what He has entrusted to me during this season of life.

This ministry has endured a few storms- both prior to my coming and since my arrival- and I have had the opportunity to see its true colors, those areas where it is vulnerable for attack. Now, let’s go back to this morning. My wife and I wake up to standing water. Quickly we react- find a bucket, a towel, a shopvac, anything to maintain the leak and clean up the mess. But we don’t stop there; we search for the source of the leak. Once found, would it make sense to ignore it and go back to sleep? No. After doing damage control one should repair it, patch it, and reinforce it. We need to ensure that water is not going to seep in through that crack ever again.

While water was our enemy this morning, each day every one of us face a craftier enemy – Satan.

For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12 (NLT)

Whether it be people- students, volunteers, fellow staff- or a personal struggle, I guarantee that you will endure attack from the enemy on every level. Your ministry will encounter strong winds, thunderstorms, and possibly a hurricane now and again. Stand your ground. Build your ministry to be ready for the attack.

Here are a few things to keep in mind during an attack:

Do not inflict more damage by confusing the damage with the source of attack. I cannot be more straightforward than this: too many times we are quick to blame a person or focus on a current problem rather than searching out the source. Yes, humans do give into temptation, people say mean things, and as a leader people will follow you or rally against you. Perhaps a moral failure will cause dissension in your ministry or even a dark secret revealed will void the return of one of your all-star volunteers. We must remember that Satan is the tempter, the schemer, the one who is unseen and desires to stay unseen. He is plotting us against each other and aiming to tear us apart. Don’t forget your source of attack.
You determine how others react. As the leader, people will mirror your reaction to the attack at hand. What you say will be repeated and how you handle the attack will show your team how they should handle the attack. If you have to reveal a weakness or problem area to your team, do so in such a way that points back to the enemy and reminds them that you have hope for the situation. If you do not respond well you may as well pour salt on the wound.
Bear up arms against the enemy, be prepared with prayer and scripture. The Apostle Paul knew his enemy and was prepared for the attack. He was not content with simply sitting in defeat but rather found his strength and defense in something more than what the enemy could handle. He used divine communication to call upon the ultimate power! Read 2 Corinthians 10:3-6
Victory has been promised. Despite the attack, hold on to the hope we have. Perhaps at times I am too eternally focused, letting the present pass me by. However, there is much hope found in our future as the Church. The enemy will be defeated once and for all – we must consider him as that, a loser. Shedding light on this hope and helping your team think this way can help get you over the hump and past the situation at hand. Spanning thousands of years, your attack is one of many skirmishes on a battlefield of millions.
See the unseen. You must always be aware that you will often be unaware – you cannot see everything that takes place. I often pray for Elisha goggles! 2 Kings 6:17 – And Elisha prayed, “O Lord, open his eyes so he may see.” Then the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha. Asking the Lord for wisdom, discernment, foresight, and processing skills is incredibly important. Pray for these things when you encounter attack or are trying to prevent one. Never underestimate the power of asking for these things.

Prioritize the TO-DO list.

November 12, 2012 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

If it takes 2 minutes, just do it!
If someone can help, delegate it.
If none of the above, put it on the calendar.

Every night I go home with a to-do list that is never complete. I dream big and know that my list will always out do me when push comes shove. Can you relate? The to-do’s will keep coming and we will never truly finish having to-do’s, but how would it feel to have the list prioritized so you spend more time getting things done rather than feeling at loss or defeated? Getting Things Done, this book has been a huge help in prioritizing my to-do list and has helped me develop a mindset of priority in a role that requires endless decisions to be made and a process for my many tasks to be completed.This chart is referenced in the book…put all of your to-do’s through this model and see what happens.

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Driving students to get their license!

October 27, 2012 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

Roughly 28% of 16 year olds were obtaining their driver’s license in the year of 2010. Thant’s 3 out of every 10 students! The number of students getting their license continues to drop.

I have had countless conversations with students, parents and staff over the past year about how students these days just aren’t eager to get behind the wheel. Why is that? I remember not only learning how to drive on back roads well before getting my permit but rushing to the DMV on my 15th birthday to make it legal. For students today I thought it was a lackadaisical problem. According to research I found in popular mechanics this month it sounds like students are finding contentment in technology rather than the roaring engine or independence behind the wheel. Getting the keys from mom or dad at the age of 16 five to ten years ago meant freedom from home, to go where your friends were.

I suspect that social media bringing friends to our fingertips has underwhelmed the desire for teens to have face to face meetings, hangouts and relationships. While students hide behind the computer or smart phone the roads are slower to grow with young drivers. Our students are becoming less mobile and relying on mom and dad longer for rides. My heart goes out to those students who settle for experiencing life through technology rather than face to face relationships. Getting a student behind the wheel with proper driver’s education can pay huge dividends – helping them get a job, understand responsibility at a higher level, rely less on mom and dad to do for them what they can do for themselves.

Teach them how to drive:

Teach them how in a clunker, not in mom or dad’s mercedes.
Teach them manual before automatic. It’s something I learned later on, but so grateful I know how. I actually prefer a manual.
Show them how to check fluids, change a flat, and change the oil. This will save them big bucks and keep them from being scammed by a mechanic.
Parallel parking. Need I say more?
My parents set curfew for me the first few years I had my license, not a bad idea.

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Was Camp a Success?

October 26, 2012 by Chris Parker Leave a Comment

I have been to dozens of camps both as a student, volunteer and pastor. This past weekend I had the privilege of speaking at a camp in northern Georgia. My buddy Tim Tullis, a junior high pastor at a church in Knoxville invited me to spend the weekend with him and his students. Camp was a blast, I enjoyed the students and absolutely loved the camp. It confirmed that you can pull off a 6-12 camp for students in how you organize their time at camp, a schedule for HS and one for MS. The setting was truly an escape from reality, nestled in the Blue Ridge Mountains, I would highly recommend Woodlands Camp for any youth group looking for a camp setting in the south/east.

Though I thoroughly enjoyed speaking at the camp, I had the great privilege of participating in a 7th grade boys cabin talk one night. Hearing them say things like, “I need to apologize to my parents for the way I act” shows me they have a group of friends hearing them out, trusting them, and participating in life change when it happens – there was some really great conversation! Sitting in the small group and hearing the the boys reflect on the things I shared in the large session really solidified some thoughts on camp. Students will run around, play crazy games, eat that awesome camp food and even take notes in the main session BUT the life change is happening in small groups. Talking with my team at staff meeting this week my convictions were confirmed. Much of our time is spent programming for the main program, energy spent developing games, we make sure to provide students with enough free time – and cabin time becomes “whatever you guys want to talk about.” There should always be room for the whatever in a small group, but the whatever is hopefully guided toward the essentials of one’s faith journey.

When a youth group comes off of a mountain top experience, like camp, many students experience life change. They have encountered and dealt with some big things in their life and focused on their relationship with God for a solid 3-5 days. What helped make that life change a success?

Proximity – Take a student out of their element and put them in an environment that is not regular to them. Getting a student away from the computer, cell phone, their favorite CD allows their mind to think about other things in the present such as God and the people around them. When you take a student out of their normal routine it allows them to zoom out and get a panoramic view of life.
Scheduled God Time – For the most part, students hardly spend time with God or thinking about God outside their regular program(s) or small groups that the church facilitates for them. With 2 sessions a day, personal devotions, and cabin talks – scheduled time for students to rest in God’s word and think about their relationship with Him make a HUGE impact over a few days at camp.
Small Groups – This is where success happens at camp. It is not only the conversations that happen in the cabin but the intentionality of taking that stuff home as a small group and continue the conversation. The camp speaker is NOT the focal point, but merely someone who primes the pump and begins the conversation for greater conversation among established relationships.

Final Thought

If much of the camp’s success is dictated on followup with small groups, how can we better aim at equipping our small groups and leaders for the long haul when returning home? If you haven’t participated in a small group in some time but lead the direction for them you are missing out. It is incredibly important to take constant pulse checks on your small groups to better serve them and provide resources to help students get connected and stay connected.