Life of a youth pastor .

The calm before the storm…

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My move from Chicago to Austin is now complete and we are settling into our new home here. Settling may not be the right word, things are crazy busy as we strive to launch for a new school year right around the corner!!! I am still meeting new staff members, being introduced to some of my volunteers, hanging out with students, etc. All along, trying to wrap my head around how youth ministry is being done here currently while continually asking God, “How do you want me to serve here? What is your desire for these students/leaders/volunteers?” Though it may seem like the calm before the storm, I think the waves are getting choppy and my ship is headed full steam ahead into a school year of programming, recruiting leaders, and establishing healthy community. Anyone else feel the storm brewing? While I have done this all before at my previous church it does feel like a new ship and some unchartered waters…where do they keep the life-jackets, where is the throttle, how much food and water do we have aboard, do we have any leaks that need patching or repair?!

I need some key items going into this storm. These things I must keep aboard to ensure health and safety for my staff/volunteer team, while also providing good vision and direction to get us to the other side, knowing we accomplished what God had asked of us after the school year is over.

Here are a few key things that came to my mind, what would you add to the list or emphasize?

  • A leaders retreat early on in the school year
  • Setting clear tangible goals to help maintain vision throughout the year
  • Consistent community hangouts for my leaders (once a month)
  • Defining our roles. What defines a leader? What defines a volunteer?
  • Recruit. Recruit. Recruit. Follow up, Follow up, Follow up. KEEP THEM ENGAGED!
  • Collecting student visitor information – making sure they are invited back to the program each week

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The Road to Bandera.

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I knew that I was in for a busy first two weeks in Texas. Unpacking and planning out a mission trip lends to very long days along with meeting tons of new leaders and students. So, yes, I knew it would be this way going in, what did I do to prepare? I took the road to Bandera!

Before coming to Texas I coaxed my buddy Caleb in Chicago to join me for the Uhaul move and then join me for a motorcycle tour of central Texas. We both did a lot of riding together in Chicago and he had never been to Texas before. A good motorcycle ride is so refreshing and relaxing. I had a two day 500 mile loop planned out…unfortunately it was pouring rain the first day and we couldn’t get the bikes. So the second day we set out to conquer as much as we could…we ended up doing almost 400 miles in 24 hours.

We set out from Cowboy Harley of Austin each with a Harley and headed to San Antonio. We stopped in Gruene, TX for a coke and checked out the old dance hall. Our next stop was the Alamo, we did a quick tour and then had lunch on the riverwalk. We then proceed northwest out of San Antonio and took the road to Bandera. Our destination for the night was Garner State Park.

Bandera itself, claimed cowboy capital of the world is a pretty cool place to stop for BBQ or a quick fill up at the gas station, which I would highly recommend before entering the gauntlet to Garner. The road to and from Bandera itself is what I would consider a true beauty, I can’t wait to make the same time in the spring when all the wildflowers are in bloom.

Garner State Park is a gem and I can’t believe after all the years I have spent in Texas I had never been there until now. Located on the banks of the Frio River and underneath a picturesque canyon wall it makes a beautiful place to make camp after a long ride…I would recommend spring/winter/fall, the tent was a little warm in the middle of summer, but a morning swim in the Frio quickly made up for it!  Out of Bandera take 16 to 470 to 187 to 1050 – this will take you right to the park. While this was beautiful ride I hear that the best riding in the Hill Country is called the three sisters…three separate highways just a little bit farther west from the park. You can read more about them at this link… http://www.hillcountrycruising.com/

The next morning it was a mad dash for Fredericksburg, Johnson City and back to Austin. While we didn’t get to ride the entire loop I planned out I think we saw as much of the hill country as possible and I think Caleb was pleased. I’m excited to make this ride again, while in the trenches of ministry now it was a good trip to make getting my tank refueled for the busy weeks ahead.

Unpacking.

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It has been a busy week with no rest. From Chicago to Austin, stopping in Branson, MO doing a pre-trip for Gateway – driving a Uhaul with car in tow through the Ozarks, a 400 mile motorcycle tour through the hill country of central Texas and now a casita (small house) full of boxes staring at me. I have been busy is an understatement – but I love it! In my next few posts I’ll unroll my adventures for you that took place this past week.

A few quick lessons learned.

  • Never underestimate how much you own when moving, you have a ton…it’s a great time to craigslist and goodwill the stuff you don’t use or never knew you had.
  • Always check your car owners manual before towing it, you might need a specific trailer.
  • When renting motorcycles keep up to date with the weather…make wise choices.
  • Call on your friends and family for help when you need it, don’t be a macho man.
  • Labeling boxes specifically for rooms and the items the box contains SAVES TIME. Thanks Calla, I love you for helping keep our life organized!

Got Curriculum? Communication.

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This is blog posting #2 on Got Curriculum? See #1 here.

Communication is everything when it comes to curriculum. You the youth pastor communicating with your small group leaders –> your small group leaders communicating with the students and parents –> the actual material that needs to be communicated. If there is one thing that absolutely blows my mind about LIVE curriculum is how good of a communication network it offers.

WARNING: You will get out of it as much as you put into it. Let me explain.

  • Parent E-mail – for each individual lesson there is a parent email that you can copy+paste into a distribution list of parent emails to let them not only know what Johnny is learning that week during small group, but gives them questions to engage with their kid. We did this for our small group leaders as an accountability tool, they knew mom and dad would be getting the topic email, this helped them stay on track with the curriculum path.
  • Dashboard – Every small group leader has a one-stop shop for what they need to know before leading their small group for the week. Each leader is assigned a login & password, giving them access to ALL of their lessons for the entire school year with both a leaders guide that can be crafted to their own liking along with a student handout sheet for each week. In this same forum they are able to see new messages posted by me, and have the ability to TEXT their small group!
  • Texting – Ya, I know…texting can be more impersonal than a good phone call or face-to-face conversation, but it’s 2012 and when you need to get the word out quickly so students know where you’re meeting for small group or what they should read before coming, this can be a handy tool. Texting is a communication tool also offered through Simply Youth Ministry. We purchased it to coincide with our curriculum. I will say it’s probably 50/50 when it comes down to leaders using it to contact and connect with their small groups. I also use this feature to connect with parents. For example, I will send out a “text blast” to inform all of our parents about a certain event, “Parents, remember we have a parents meeting to discuss our mission trips for this summer. See you at 3PM.”
  • There’s an app for that – Need I say more? There is a LIVE Curriculum app that is unique to each leader’s login credentials. If you are a sophomore leader, it will show your calendar for the year, all of the sophomore study guides, small group questions and updated messages from the youth pastor.

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Celestial City Lights…

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These are the city lights of Chicago…you can see a sprawling metropolis that goes on for miles. As my plane was doing a loop waiting for landing space at O’hare I was able to take in the city, pick out the skyline, particular buildings that were familiar to me and even cars on Lakeshore Dr.  This plane ride was very different than many before. I have made this flight at least 20 times since going to school at Moody Bible Institute and then living in Wheaton, IL. This flight was different knowing that it would be one of my last times for a while flying into Chicago, Austin will be our new place of residency. My stomach was in knots knowing that I am leaving a youth ministry I love, people I have relationships with over 6 years now, and just the thought of boxing up our life and moving south some 1,000 miles was becoming more and more of a reality. Though I am incredibly excited about this transition and the team I will be doing life with in Texas, it’s still something hard to swallow. As I sat in my seat gazing out the window over Chicago city lights, I simply prayed, “God, give me peace…reveal yourself to me.” I’m not exaggerating when I say, not even a second later I followed out a well lit highway to see this sitting right below me….

I know it’s hard to make out but this is Wheaton Bible Church….just below the really bright light (that’s a new ballpark the city just put in). Out of all the lights that make up Chicago, God allowed my eyes to see this tiny spec on the map. Though a tiny spec on the map, Wheaton Bible Church along with Gateway Church in Austin are only two of thousands upon millions of shimmering lights that make up the celestial lights in the city of God! God brought abundant peace to my soul and amazing understanding to see how He works through his church body among the nations to build up His eternal kingdom. I cannot wait to get the bird’s eye view from heaven one day to see how the global church of history past has partnered together in building up the kingdom of God…one light at a time.

Paul’s words come to mind when he is encouraging the church at Philippi …

Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the Word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.

It has become more apparent to me than ever before due to my time of transition, we all have our separate church buildings, neighborhoods, and communities that we would consider our “church” home, but let us not forget the kingdom that we all share in building together. We are all batting for the same team. Hopefully one day you can share in the bird’s eye view, today you can only live intentionally in light of that day.

The tough conversation…

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We have all been there – knowing we need to have that tough conversation with a friend, relative or peer. The conversation is not being looked forward to because you know there will be confrontation in your conversation. As much as you would like to think that this person will eventually ‘get it’ most of the time they won’t unless you talk it out.

There have been many times in my life I have been the one confronted…and if done right, I am forever grateful! There have also been times that I have been on the other side, trying to confront someone about something…perhaps it’s an attitude, a cycle of sin, or even just feedback on how someone is leading. I think we all have been on either side of the equation and I’d like to take a moment to unfold some things to keep in mind that will help you the next time you are approached by someone with a confrontation or perhaps you need to have the tough conversation with someone else.

1. Show some humility. We are all sinners here, remember you have had your moments too! Any situation can be a learning moment, do not put yourself above the person that is calling you out – hear them out. When you sit down to have a conversation with a student, leader, or peer and want to confront them – think about where you have struggled in life, perhaps in the same areas.

2. Be quick to speak…scripture tells us not to let the sun go down if we are angry with our brother or sister in Christ. We need to talk things out –  NOT in the heat of the moment, take a breath, take a walk, talk with God first. We need to make sure we are speaking in love, not out of our sin nature in anger or hate. Have open ears to listen to the other person, but we cannot let important feedback linger. If we confront someone about a situation that took place 6 months ago, this could blur the lines of caring, urgency, and priority. If it was that important, why are you waiting until now to bring it up? Avoiding the conversation will only make things worse and furthermore show that this confrontation is not important.

3. Be honest. I know that when I’m honest with a student or leader, there might be some questions, dislike, hurt feelings, perhaps even disagreement but in the end they usually thank me for being honest. The worst thing that could happen is being honest with others about how you feel toward a particular person without being honest directly with that specific person, this is called GOSSIP! Honesty can and will complicate conversations, but it does bring us closer to the realities we are discussing and the feelings we are feeling.

4. Follow Up. I had a really tough conversation with a student a few weeks ago – it was honest, we both showed humility, and both of us saw it as a learning experience. We perceived certain things about each other that seemed to drive a wedge between us…we both perceived wrongly. It was so good to clear the air and have the tough conversation. Through tears, prayer and hug I still felt a little bit uneasy where things were left UNTIL the follow up. We briefly talked exactly a week later and I feel much better as where things stand. Tough conversations can be really hard for both the listener and the one who feels compelled to say something…let it settle in for a while. Evaluate the conversation as you have it, will this need to be re-visited? Do I need to bring in a parent or church staff member into this conversation? What would be the best way to follow up? Make it a point to tell your listener…”I’d like to follow up next week.” And do it! This shows that your truly care about them. Ask them how they are doing, ask them if they have had any thoughts on the conversation you had. If you are the listener and you think it may be needed, make sure you ask for a follow up conversation. Some things might be revealed to you that you should not respond to in the heat of the moment, let it settle…pray over the things said, do a self evaluation and perhaps seek wise counsel from someone you respect.

Though there are many things to consider, but these few things kept in mind when having a tough conversation can be extremely helpful. I know they have helped me!

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Sight Fishing

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Fishing in a deep, dark body of water involves casting  your line where you THINK the fish are, hoping for a bite. Sight fishing is a bit different…you can literally SEE the fish, you know where to cast. This all came together for me one morning when I was fishing on a clear water lake in Michigan. It was early and the fish were on the prowl for food…I could see fish everywhere. I would try and try again, but couldn’t catch a fish. It was so frustrating! After trying a few different lures and casting methods I finally landed one, and then another and then another! Within an hour I had caught around 30 fish in the same area, if I would have given up early I would have not experienced the joy that I did that morning.

That same day I had to be back for a gathering in our backyard, we had invited all of our neighbors over. The thought hit me like a ton of bricks…”I’m sight fishing tonight!” People I see everyday are swimming to and fro, back and forth before me and I have all kinds of opportunities to throw a question their way or invite them over for a meal. Jesus called his disciples to leave everything they were doing to become fishers of men.(Matthew 4:19) We do not see them “catching” men and women every time we read a story about them, but we do see them fishing – looking to Jesus for direction, sharing meals, serving others, teaching truth…we see it in the early church and even in the church today. The lifestyle of evangelism and discipleship takes intentionality and perseverance. While we may or may not be enduring a season of harvest, God has called us to be fishers of men. There are so many people that are visibly and desperately in need of Christ’s love, will you cast the line their way?

Keep fishing, keep the line in the water by continually rooting new friendships with those who may be far from God, be in prayer, watch for opportunities. Remember, we were called to be fishers of men, not catchers…leave that part up to God, the Holy Spirit is your ultimate fishing guide.

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Reading 1-2-1

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Can the Bible be used as an evangelism tool? Your answer, “We’d be lost without it!” But what I’m getting at is actually inviting someone who is far from God or unfamiliar with the Bible to study it with you. I presented this challenge to my adult leaders in student ministry. Some latched on to the idea and a few ran with it. One man in particular who has been a leader for many years felt so compelled by the Spirit during my challenge that his neighbor came to mind. That very week, with the Bible in hand, he walked across the street and asked his neighbor to meet with him and read the Bible…his neighbor agreed! They started with the gospel of Luke and read the whole thing! The neighbor proceeded with, “Shouldn’t we start at the beginning?” They read through Genesis and now are working through the Old Testament, and may I remind you that this man does not have a relationship with Christ! Can you imagine what it would be like to learn how to study the Bible before coming to faith? He will know how to feed himself the Word of truth and where to go for answers about life and faith.

A quote from the book One-to-One Bible Reading that I gave each of my leaders and some choice student leaders:

“We asked a total of 1,000 twenty-something unchurched people; 900 American, 100 Canadian. And we compared them to a sample of 500 older unchurched (30 or above)…
One of the questions that we asked them to agree or disagree with was: ‘I would be willing to study the Bible if a friend asked me to?’ Among twenty-somethings, 61-percent said, ‘Yes.’ Among their older counterparts of 30 and above, 42-percent said, ‘Yes.’ And that was a statistically significant difference, telling us there’s something going on, there’s an openness that’s there. So we’re seeing that as an opportunity–that in the midst of some negative views of the church, there is also some openness to the things of God.”

In a previous post I did talk about the dropout rate of high school students walking away from their church and faith. Let this be an encouragement that their are many that are thirsty for the truth, but more importantly are awaiting the ask, “Will you study the Bible with me?”

Who in your life could you invite to read the Bible with you that might be far from God and unfamiliar with His love for them.

Pray for opportunities.

Watch for opportunities.

Act on opportunities.

Grab your copy of One-to-One Bible Reading

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The Parent Rap

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You parents have a crazy rap going on! Some of you have biological children, some of you have adopted, some of you open your doors as a foster home…I give you mad props for doing youth ministry 24/7, keep up the hard work!

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They are graduating from church…

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It’s that time of year when the youth pastor gets invited to all those graduation parties! There is usually great food, music in the air, an embarrassing slide show that may involve naked baby photos, and of course the anxious graduate who is ready to rip through all the cards to see how much money they got…I was no different. Though each party may have its own flavor one thing stays the same, the sigh of relief on the parents face, the look that says, “I can’t believe they made it…I can’t believe I made it!”

I’m sure as a parent, a youth pastor or small group leader you have found those graduation parties quite the celebration and milestone in your students life. They did it! They completed their homework assignments (almost all of them), they made some good friends, they learned how to prepare for college by writing essays and learning word processing systems and now they are ready to be sent off into the world…or are they?

While reading a book about why young people leave the church (specifically those graduating seniors) I came across a staggering statement…

“Teenagers are some of the most religiously active Americans.

 American twenty-somethings are the least religiously active.”

According to the polls and interviews we as the church can easily observe that this IS the reality of  church attendance and participation. Birth through high school we see active participation and attendance…it actually increases as the student approaches high school. Suddenly as if overnight, there is a nose dive in church participation, we have lost those graduates…but WHY?!

I could write all day on this subject and even present many topics that we could dissect and explore WHY older teenagers and early twenty-somethings are leaving the church…getting a driver’s license, exploring job opportunities, going “off” to college, but aren’t there churches near the college too?  It seems that many not only graduate from high school never looking back but also graduate their faith! What I’m getting at is this, we the church and parents hold their hand birth-12th…walking them to their age specific rooms, ensuring that they get on the right missions trip, help pay for the perfect Christian camp, and even recruit leaders to walk alongside them every year in a small group setting. What happens next after graduation is eye-opening…nothing. Nothing happens. Where did my small group leader go? What happened to my age specific class or community? Where do I sign up for a serving opportunity or even a small group now that I’m an adult?

We must combat the dropout rate by sending out missionaries…equipping our graduates for life on their mission field wherever God places them.

I’ll be the first to confess that my church doesn’t do the greatest job in transitioning our graduates into the greater body of the church. We are aware of this problem and are searching for ways to combat the nose dive. Here are a few ideas we have moving forward…I would love to hear what others are doing!

  • Provide a specific curriculum for all graduating seniors to go through their spring semester
  • Find ways for small group leaders stay connected to their students throughout the college years
  • Put “college ministry” under the student ministry umbrella to ensure responsibility is being taken on by a ministry within the church
  • Provide a one year stent program that would allow those graduates not going to college to participate in ministry both locally and globally

The book that dives more into this discussion can be found in my library, “You Lost Me.”

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