Life of a youth pastor .

You only have 7 minutes!

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I remember like it was yesterday…there were donuts, good donuts. And there were people with smiles. We played a game that seemed like semi-organized chaos, boys were throwing crumpled up paper at the girls and the girls were throwing them back at us. I don’t remember a single word the youth pastor said, actually I don’t even remember the youth pastor. One thing is for sure though, I felt welcomed and I wanted to go back. That was 7th grade at the church I grew up at. I had entered the youth group and I didn’t want to leave…and I didn’t, I stuck with it on a weekly basis through graduation of high school. All of those feelings of awkwardness, not belonging or people staring at that pimple on my forehead went away. I was in a place where I felt accepted immediately and had an all access pass to friends, leaders and my youth pastor.

Now I’m the youth pastor and I see an average of 5 guests a week… I want them to get connected and stay connected to God and others. How many guest do you see on a weekly basis? How do you make them feel welcomed? Do they come back?

“Seven minutes is all you get to make a positive first impression.  In the first seven minutes of contact with your church, your first-time guests will know whether or not they are coming back.  That’s before a single worship song is sung and before a single word of the message is uttered.” – Fusion

Fusion has helped me work through some of my “assimilation process” as I strive to make our visitors noticed, welcomed and always invited back to be a part of our group.

As staff, we do an okay job of getting students checked-in, giving them a gift and getting their information. However, I feel like that’s where it starts to unravel. We will call the cell phone number, leave a facebook message…but follow up for students is just down right hard.

FOLLOW UP!
Giving the students a gift or having them fill out an info card is the easy part. Following up and keeping that system alive is tough! What does your follow up process look like? How do you manage it and keep it fresh for students?

Prioritize the TO-DO list.

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  1. If it takes 2 minutes, just do it!
  2. If someone can help, delegate it.
  3. If none of the above, put it on the calendar.

Every night I go home with a to-do list that is never complete. I dream big and know that my list will always out do me when push comes shove. Can you relate? The to-do’s will keep coming and we will never truly finish having to-do’s, but how would it feel to have the list prioritized so you spend more time getting things done rather than feeling at loss or defeated? Getting Things Done, this book has been a huge help in prioritizing my to-do list and has helped me develop a mindset of priority in a role that requires endless decisions to be made and a process for my many tasks to be completed.This chart is referenced in the book…put all of your to-do’s through this model and see what happens.

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Join the Experiment!

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You wake up, pour some coffee and before you are out the door to your first meeting your phone alarm goes off, it’s a reminder to stay connected to God. The reminder is customizable to your schedule when you are awake, every hour you get a verse from the Bible. Sixty days with God every hour you are awake, the sixty-sixty experiment. For dedicated believers or even pastors it can be difficult to make your relationship with God a priority with all the distractions your day will offer.

Our church is in the middle of the series “Soul Revolution” and the sixty-sixty experiment. I would encourage any one whether they are near or far from God to download the app for free and give it a try (Soul Revolution). If you don’t have a smart phone, all you need to participate is a watch you can program to beep every hour.

To make the experiment a little bit more student friendly, I did my best to get into their world. Almost every student carries a binder to school and opens it every day, multiple times a day – including at home when they do homework. We created binder inserts. The inserts were cut in half, laminated and 3-hole punched. We passed them out at the beginning of the experiment and encouraged students to put them in the front of their binder. I’m considering making inserts for other big series in the future. I’d be happy to share this resource with you, here is a link to my public dropbox folder containing the binder inserts.

Have you participated in the sixty-sixty experiment? Let’s hear your story!

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Are you ready to plant a church?

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Church planting has a special place in my heart; it is found in the DNA of both my home church Hill Country Bible Church and my current church, Gateway. I was a bit confused when I was asked to take a church planting survey while in my interview process. In the words of my senior pastor, “If we offer you this position I need to know that you understand church planting.” Not just this youth ministry, but almost every youth ministry and every youth pastor will experience this similar pressure at some point…to grow the ministry both spiritually and numerically. I believe that many veteran youth pastors make excellent candidates for church planting. Student ministry is full to the brim of church planting essentials: equipping people to lead, casting vision, working with budgets, hiring and leading staff, organizing serving opportunities and mission trips, leading small group movements, dedicating oneself to a weekly program of teaching and worship, the list goes on and on.

The assessment given to me was issued by ELI Church Planting. “ELI is mobilizing leaders to start new churches out of the culture – churches molded from messy people rising up out of the culture to become the Body of Christ.”

So, are you ready to plant a church? Check out ELI’s website for the free assessment and learn more about your areas of strength and needs for improvement when it comes to church planting.

One of my current reads on church planting is “Church Planter” by Darrin Patrick.

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Vision, start up strategies, & my volunteer handbook.

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theSamePage

Where do you start in getting people on the same page? Within two months coming into my position of student pastor I quickly realized that many of my leaders had a heart for students and community. Though that might be a good thing, I also realized that the definition of student ministry and community was very different for each individual. At the same time we had just done a pancake push to recruit more leaders. With an updated roster containing more than 60 names the last thing I wanted to do was shake things up and lose leaders. I knew that clarity, direction and vision was desperately needed as we move ahead together in aligning our efforts to maximize our potential. We offered a vision lunch and 30 of our leaders showed up. Getting them on the same page, I gave them a vision statement and a student ministry handbook. While it may seem like shuffling papers at times, this stuff is a must for any ministry!

VISION. You need something short, simple, easy to remember but all encompassing to what you are about as a ministry. This vision should be a rally point for leaders and students alike. Anyone should be able to critique your programs, small groups, outreach nights, camps, retreats, etc. against your vision and see that they line up. What are you striving for in ministry? What is the end goal for your staff, leaders, volunteers, and students? Does it match your churches philosophy of ministry? I am still tweaking the statement, but this what we have landed on for now.

 Get connected to God. Get connected to people. Stay connected to both.

If we were successful in doing this as a ministry I think the end result would be an alive and thriving student ministry. The following vision of student ministry was a benchmark that was passed on to me from Bobby Pruitt, my high school youth pastor.

Student ministry is not student ministry until the student is doing ministry.

My desire would be that my leaders understand that small groups, teaching, music, and dynamic programs are all good things but these things are not the end result we are chasing after. Student ministry is not a 4-7 year sprint spiritually, crossing the finish line when the student graduates high school. We pray the individual student will be equipped to take every opportunity for the rest of their lives starting in middle school to look to the interest of others and display the attitude of Jesus, as found in Philippians 2.

STUDENT MINISTRY HANDBOOK. I think phrasing it like that sounds a bit less constrictive than a policy manual or rules to follow…but it is what it sounds like. To both our veteran leaders of 8+ years and those new leaders just expressing interest, this handbook provides in greater detail how we are going to accomplish the vision. The handbook provides the reality of expected duties that a leader will sign off on claiming they understand we are on the same page. It contains specific serving role protocol along with descriptions, requirements/expectations of  a leader/volunteer, and a section on child abuse protocol and procedure. Prior to going over sealing the deal with the handbook there is an online application they are asked to fill out that covers references and background checks. Here is a sample of our most current Student Ministry Handbook.

Here are a few things I think should be included in any handbook and discussed with any leader or volunteer serving in student ministry:

  • A welcome letter.
  • Vision statement.
  • Their involvement in a community that is encouraging their personal spiritual walk. If they aren’t being poured into how can you expect them to pour into the lives of students?
  • Age requirements of those serving. (I’ll write more on this later)
  • Meeting with and driving students.
  • Sleepovers and students at your house.
  • Romantic relationships across the board.
  • Child abuse policy and procedure.
  • Be above reproach. This is a catch all phrase, holding leaders/volunteers to a higher standard to ensure both the safety of them and the student.

Get your ministry on the same page. Give them a vision to follow and handbook to go to when questions come up or they want to know where you stand on situations that will occur in ministry. Subscribe via email to lifeofayouthpastor.com in the upper right hand corner of this page.

Got Curriculum? Communication.

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This is blog posting #2 on Got Curriculum? See #1 here.

Communication is everything when it comes to curriculum. You the youth pastor communicating with your small group leaders –> your small group leaders communicating with the students and parents –> the actual material that needs to be communicated. If there is one thing that absolutely blows my mind about LIVE curriculum is how good of a communication network it offers.

WARNING: You will get out of it as much as you put into it. Let me explain.

  • Parent E-mail – for each individual lesson there is a parent email that you can copy+paste into a distribution list of parent emails to let them not only know what Johnny is learning that week during small group, but gives them questions to engage with their kid. We did this for our small group leaders as an accountability tool, they knew mom and dad would be getting the topic email, this helped them stay on track with the curriculum path.
  • Dashboard – Every small group leader has a one-stop shop for what they need to know before leading their small group for the week. Each leader is assigned a login & password, giving them access to ALL of their lessons for the entire school year with both a leaders guide that can be crafted to their own liking along with a student handout sheet for each week. In this same forum they are able to see new messages posted by me, and have the ability to TEXT their small group!
  • Texting – Ya, I know…texting can be more impersonal than a good phone call or face-to-face conversation, but it’s 2012 and when you need to get the word out quickly so students know where you’re meeting for small group or what they should read before coming, this can be a handy tool. Texting is a communication tool also offered through Simply Youth Ministry. We purchased it to coincide with our curriculum. I will say it’s probably 50/50 when it comes down to leaders using it to contact and connect with their small groups. I also use this feature to connect with parents. For example, I will send out a “text blast” to inform all of our parents about a certain event, “Parents, remember we have a parents meeting to discuss our mission trips for this summer. See you at 3PM.”
  • There’s an app for that – Need I say more? There is a LIVE Curriculum app that is unique to each leader’s login credentials. If you are a sophomore leader, it will show your calendar for the year, all of the sophomore study guides, small group questions and updated messages from the youth pastor.

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Got Curriculum?

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This past year the youth ministry staff at Wheaton Bible Church did a trial run of the LIVE curriculum put out by Simply Youth Ministry.  It somewhat became my baby from the beginning, I was intrigued by the internet platform…getting everyone signed up for it, helping design particular curriculum paths 7th-12th grade and ensuring that my leaders knew how to use LIVE. Needless to say, THIS STUFF IS AWESOME! I know each youth pastor and small group leader will have their own preferences for curriculum, and that’s the beauty of LIVE…it is totally customizable from top to bottom. You can edit each lesson to be your own, choose topics each grade will study throughout a school year AND it provides an online platform for your leaders to prepare for their group! Over the next few posts I would like to dive into deeper detail on why LIVE was a WIN for us this past year and how LIVE could be a WIN for your youth ministry this coming Fall.

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The tough conversation…

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We have all been there – knowing we need to have that tough conversation with a friend, relative or peer. The conversation is not being looked forward to because you know there will be confrontation in your conversation. As much as you would like to think that this person will eventually ‘get it’ most of the time they won’t unless you talk it out.

There have been many times in my life I have been the one confronted…and if done right, I am forever grateful! There have also been times that I have been on the other side, trying to confront someone about something…perhaps it’s an attitude, a cycle of sin, or even just feedback on how someone is leading. I think we all have been on either side of the equation and I’d like to take a moment to unfold some things to keep in mind that will help you the next time you are approached by someone with a confrontation or perhaps you need to have the tough conversation with someone else.

1. Show some humility. We are all sinners here, remember you have had your moments too! Any situation can be a learning moment, do not put yourself above the person that is calling you out – hear them out. When you sit down to have a conversation with a student, leader, or peer and want to confront them – think about where you have struggled in life, perhaps in the same areas.

2. Be quick to speak…scripture tells us not to let the sun go down if we are angry with our brother or sister in Christ. We need to talk things out –  NOT in the heat of the moment, take a breath, take a walk, talk with God first. We need to make sure we are speaking in love, not out of our sin nature in anger or hate. Have open ears to listen to the other person, but we cannot let important feedback linger. If we confront someone about a situation that took place 6 months ago, this could blur the lines of caring, urgency, and priority. If it was that important, why are you waiting until now to bring it up? Avoiding the conversation will only make things worse and furthermore show that this confrontation is not important.

3. Be honest. I know that when I’m honest with a student or leader, there might be some questions, dislike, hurt feelings, perhaps even disagreement but in the end they usually thank me for being honest. The worst thing that could happen is being honest with others about how you feel toward a particular person without being honest directly with that specific person, this is called GOSSIP! Honesty can and will complicate conversations, but it does bring us closer to the realities we are discussing and the feelings we are feeling.

4. Follow Up. I had a really tough conversation with a student a few weeks ago – it was honest, we both showed humility, and both of us saw it as a learning experience. We perceived certain things about each other that seemed to drive a wedge between us…we both perceived wrongly. It was so good to clear the air and have the tough conversation. Through tears, prayer and hug I still felt a little bit uneasy where things were left UNTIL the follow up. We briefly talked exactly a week later and I feel much better as where things stand. Tough conversations can be really hard for both the listener and the one who feels compelled to say something…let it settle in for a while. Evaluate the conversation as you have it, will this need to be re-visited? Do I need to bring in a parent or church staff member into this conversation? What would be the best way to follow up? Make it a point to tell your listener…”I’d like to follow up next week.” And do it! This shows that your truly care about them. Ask them how they are doing, ask them if they have had any thoughts on the conversation you had. If you are the listener and you think it may be needed, make sure you ask for a follow up conversation. Some things might be revealed to you that you should not respond to in the heat of the moment, let it settle…pray over the things said, do a self evaluation and perhaps seek wise counsel from someone you respect.

Though there are many things to consider, but these few things kept in mind when having a tough conversation can be extremely helpful. I know they have helped me!

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Sight Fishing

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Fishing in a deep, dark body of water involves casting  your line where you THINK the fish are, hoping for a bite. Sight fishing is a bit different…you can literally SEE the fish, you know where to cast. This all came together for me one morning when I was fishing on a clear water lake in Michigan. It was early and the fish were on the prowl for food…I could see fish everywhere. I would try and try again, but couldn’t catch a fish. It was so frustrating! After trying a few different lures and casting methods I finally landed one, and then another and then another! Within an hour I had caught around 30 fish in the same area, if I would have given up early I would have not experienced the joy that I did that morning.

That same day I had to be back for a gathering in our backyard, we had invited all of our neighbors over. The thought hit me like a ton of bricks…”I’m sight fishing tonight!” People I see everyday are swimming to and fro, back and forth before me and I have all kinds of opportunities to throw a question their way or invite them over for a meal. Jesus called his disciples to leave everything they were doing to become fishers of men.(Matthew 4:19) We do not see them “catching” men and women every time we read a story about them, but we do see them fishing – looking to Jesus for direction, sharing meals, serving others, teaching truth…we see it in the early church and even in the church today. The lifestyle of evangelism and discipleship takes intentionality and perseverance. While we may or may not be enduring a season of harvest, God has called us to be fishers of men. There are so many people that are visibly and desperately in need of Christ’s love, will you cast the line their way?

Keep fishing, keep the line in the water by continually rooting new friendships with those who may be far from God, be in prayer, watch for opportunities. Remember, we were called to be fishers of men, not catchers…leave that part up to God, the Holy Spirit is your ultimate fishing guide.

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Reading 1-2-1

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Can the Bible be used as an evangelism tool? Your answer, “We’d be lost without it!” But what I’m getting at is actually inviting someone who is far from God or unfamiliar with the Bible to study it with you. I presented this challenge to my adult leaders in student ministry. Some latched on to the idea and a few ran with it. One man in particular who has been a leader for many years felt so compelled by the Spirit during my challenge that his neighbor came to mind. That very week, with the Bible in hand, he walked across the street and asked his neighbor to meet with him and read the Bible…his neighbor agreed! They started with the gospel of Luke and read the whole thing! The neighbor proceeded with, “Shouldn’t we start at the beginning?” They read through Genesis and now are working through the Old Testament, and may I remind you that this man does not have a relationship with Christ! Can you imagine what it would be like to learn how to study the Bible before coming to faith? He will know how to feed himself the Word of truth and where to go for answers about life and faith.

A quote from the book One-to-One Bible Reading that I gave each of my leaders and some choice student leaders:

“We asked a total of 1,000 twenty-something unchurched people; 900 American, 100 Canadian. And we compared them to a sample of 500 older unchurched (30 or above)…
One of the questions that we asked them to agree or disagree with was: ‘I would be willing to study the Bible if a friend asked me to?’ Among twenty-somethings, 61-percent said, ‘Yes.’ Among their older counterparts of 30 and above, 42-percent said, ‘Yes.’ And that was a statistically significant difference, telling us there’s something going on, there’s an openness that’s there. So we’re seeing that as an opportunity–that in the midst of some negative views of the church, there is also some openness to the things of God.”

In a previous post I did talk about the dropout rate of high school students walking away from their church and faith. Let this be an encouragement that their are many that are thirsty for the truth, but more importantly are awaiting the ask, “Will you study the Bible with me?”

Who in your life could you invite to read the Bible with you that might be far from God and unfamiliar with His love for them.

Pray for opportunities.

Watch for opportunities.

Act on opportunities.

Grab your copy of One-to-One Bible Reading

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