Life of a youth pastor .

The LEGO connection.

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I loved playing with LEGOs as a kid so I was up for the movie. I went to the LEGO movie last night and didn’t fully appreciate the clip until the very end. The last 10 minutes of the movie makes an astounding statement about our society, processes, worldview and yes…even your ministry.

The ministry your designing and working day after day to build, one day will be picked apart and put back together in a different way. How does that make you feel? Are you okay with that? Is it worth it?

In the LEGO movie we see two different approaches to building, one follows instructions on the diagram given to them because they know it will work. The other type of builder sees a bunch of random pieces and somehow makes something magnificent out of it. While both builders make something great, there are two completely different approaches here and one sometimes will work better than the other.

I don’t believe we need to change our approach to truth, doctrine or the gospel but we need to be innovators in ministry. We need to bring change to our processes in an ever changing culture. We need to use our imagination to look at our current pieces differently, our budgets, our leaders, our students. Your ministry could have the potential of being something MUCH different, reaching those perhaps you never reached before. This will require picking apart your ministry LEGO pieces you have already put in place, or pieces that have been put in place before you.

Be open to change, it’s not always a bad thing.

Kryptonite.

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It was after sitting down with some veteran youth pastors and their teams, that I discovered how much an infant in ministry I really am. I am going on 2 years of overseeing my own student ministry at Gateway Church here in Austin. While I do feel accomplished and my ministry blessed in the amount of time I have been on staff, I know many endeavors are yet to come. Like all youth pastors, I continually ask the question, “How do I take this to the next level?”

How can I get rid of the kryptonite that is disabling my ministry from reaching the potential I know it has? The answers lie deep within your vision, goals, prayer, volunteers,  and *drumroll* ….other churches. Yup! I said it, other churches. 

Whether you are a lone ranger trying to do this on your own, have another partner in crime or perhaps even lead a huge team of youth ministry staff; it’s time you got some fresh air and went on a field trip. Take your team, some key volunteers, or even your senior pastor to another church that you respect or know has certain aspects they thrive in that you are weak in. Don’t fool yourself, this all-star ministry will have its own kryptonite and unique set of challenges but what can you learn from them? What are they doing well? How did they get there? Ask a lot of questions and take notes.

A simple visit to another church can both help you dream and even troubleshoot with someone else in your profession. Pick up the phone and call your fellow peer, let them know you are coming to visit!

If you are ever in Austin, give me a shout, come observe and tell me what we can do better! chris_parker@gatewaychurch.com

Will leadership sufferings expire you?

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Time-expired-by-Joel-PennerAfter being at my church now for just over 18 months as a youth pastor I have come to the realization that I have reached my expiration date. Yup, the average tenure of student pastors across the nation. But why? In comparison to other jobs and positions held both inside and outside of ministry why only 18 months? We can knock on leadership’s door and ask why and many times the excuses could vary from we can’t have more money for our ministry or more staff to help us do our job, perhaps we just feel like a step-child in the church at times, staff and parents patting us on the back thanking us for “dealing” with the teenagers. I don’t think a student pastor leaves a church or ministry because of the students, budget, or even staffing, it’s simply a leadership thing.

A nugget shared from J. Oswald Sanders in his book, “Spiritual Leadership”…

“True greatness, true leadership, is found in giving yourself in service to others, not in coaxing or inducing others to serve you. True service is never without cost. Often it comes with a bitter cup of challenges and a painful baptism of suffering. For genuine godly leadership weighs carefully Jesus’ question: “Can you drink the cup I drink or be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with?” (Mark 10:38b). The real spiritual leader is focused on the service he and she can render to God and other people, not on the residuals and perks of high office or holy title. We must aim to put more into life than we take out.”

I inherited the leadership of a student ministry with a small handful of dedicated leaders knowing we needed many more to help develop authentic faith for our students… forgetting what was behind and pressing on toward the goal over the last 18 months we now have 45 leaders and volunteers serving in student ministry! And while many give the thumbs up and applaud the numbers, we know it wasn’t just handed us. Take a good hard look at any church or ministry in the world that is growing – growth didn’t happen without painful moments and suffering that cuts deep emotionally and spiritually. In my situation I would say for every one leader recruited there has been a difficult or bitter conversation to be had with another. If anything, I have learned that my leadership sufferings have made me stronger, allowed me to carry more and develop a higher capacity of compassion for others.

The next time a challenge is added to your bitter cup or you experience painful suffering, just know that it’s part of the job description. And if you think quitting your position will excuse you from that, you are simply wrong. Challenges and suffering live at the top of the list when it comes to following the way of Christ. Hang in there, work through the bitterness and find joy on the other side, don’t quit too soon.

Project Planning (DIY10.10)

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This is in response to a former article I wrote on DIY Student Ministry. This is the final topic I’m covering in this series. After writing on numerous topics where it is much better to recruit, delegate, and empower others to come alongside you and do student ministry, I’m living in the middle of this one currently. This is a pioneer year for mission experiences with our students, we have three trips running this month – one middle school, and two high school trips. With over 80 students involved on trips with another 60 students back in Austin with regular programming, I could never do this alone.

When you delegate, you empower. When you empower, you give ownership. When you give ownership, someone will likely do it better than you and if they don’t, at least they will be invested in something that they are contributing to. When you empower a leader or volunteer with a task you are not just getting a task finished you are getting someone bought into the larger picture of what leadership is by helping them understand the smaller nuts and bolts of what holds this whole thing together we call student ministry.

With our experiences combined, my wife and I have collectively participated on well over 50 different short-term missions, along with leading a handful ourselves. Each experience whether easy, difficult, domestic or international has proven invaluable in how we design a trip for students. Everything from support raising, to travel/lodging details, and simple details that could be lost such as sensitivity to food allergies. A huge blessing for us was that Gateway saw my wife’s experience and needed a part-time Global Director – she helps organize and empower trip leaders during this season. While this is a huge blessing for me and by me I mean student ministry…it comes with its hurdles.  When you “know” how you want an event or trip to run sometimes it can be easier to just do it rather than explain your thoughts and bring others into the process.

This has been my challenge since coming on staff at a new church but I’m glad to see this weakness now and eager to explain more and give away more in the upcoming months. It was made very clear in my first few months here that I had an issue with delegating projects or tasks… because I felt things needed to be done in a particular way and I had little time to explain these philosophies or processes while doing them myself. While these moments could have their appropriate places – it won’t be very often that you are doing something that someone else couldn’t do.

For big event planning you must realize that there are many details to be considered. If you don’t think so, you probably shouldn’t be the project planner/manager. Just a snapshot of my recent project: rental vans, charter buses, lodging, showers, week-long schedule with every hour accounted for, expenses, reimbursements, trip leaders, adult leaders, kids club curriculum, kids club games, kids club music, kids club crafts, emergency response number, and the list goes on and on.

If you as the student pastor or project planner get sucked into any of these details and doing them yourself, the rest of the project could easily unravel and unfold in such a way that you wouldn’t have wished for. When it comes to project planning and pulling off the big event you should have one role and one role only…this actually sums up the entire DIY series. YOUR ROLE IS NOT – JUST DO IT, but rather JUST DELEGATE IT. Be sure to follow up with encouragement and constructive criticism, just because you delegate it doesn’t mean you’re off the hook.

This post goes out to all my volunteers and part-time staff that keep student ministry operating and firing on all cylinders. You are rockstars in my book and do so much more than most would ever credit you. Delegating to you is not a way for me to “get out of it”, delegating and empowering you all actually allows me to get more into it, helping me keep my eyes on the big picture. Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!

DIY SM – Do it yourself student ministry!

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DIYSMConfession, I’m guilty of reading Popular Mechanics magazine. I love to find articles on do-it-yourself (DIY) projects around the house. Whether its staining the wood trim around our windows or changing the oil on my motorcycle, I find it fascinating to learn and do things on my own.

While time alone and DIY projects are life giving to me…I know that doing student ministry alone is not! I hope you would agree with me that student ministry was not created for the student pastor. The student ministry is not a DIY project for one to carry all alone.

Student ministry is not about you! It is not about what you accomplish, it is not about the best message you ever gave, and it is certainly not about the youth space or branding that you have created for students. At the end of your term as student pastor, you will eventually be forgotten and replaced. That might seem a little harsh, but its the truth. Remembering that student ministry is not about you, and keeping that in front of you, will only benefit your ministry and expand its reach. Only when you have this mindset are you able to truly empower your volunteers and students do some ministry of their own.

You may be thinking, “If I want things done right, then I need to do it myself.” Get over it. When you empower others to do ministry you relinquish your rights to be the “do-er” but you don’t relinquish your rights to be the visionary. Practice painting the picture for people, and let them do it! It won’t be done the way you would do it, but more is being accomplished overall through others than if you run a DIY SM. Many times I have found that when I empower someone else…whether it be a mom, dad, student, or fellow staff member…they do a far better job than what I could have done myself! The best memories in student ministry are made when many hands work together, making the job light, everyone is participating by putting their best foot forward in an area that needs attention. Healthy teamwork within your ministry is necessary in moving things forward.

Here is a list of to-do’s that many student pastors (including myself) are guilty of when it comes down to a DIY SM:

  1. Readying the room. Setting out chairs, turning on lights, music, etc.
  2. Finding or creating a game and leading it.
  3. Stage design…hours can be spent doing this.
  4. Creating and maintaining a visitor followup process.
  5. Social media interaction – FB, Twitter, Instagram. Following & liking student posts.
  6. Trip/Retreat research. Lodging, meals, travel.
  7. Helping create or maintain a student band.
  8. Supply run. Need I say more?
  9. Liaisons between your church and local schools.
  10. Project planning and recruiting for the BIG event.

…and the list could go on and on. As the student pastor you can’t do it all on your own. Empower your people!

After writing this article I feel compelled to write out a few thoughts on each item listed above. Stay tuned.

Question for you: What has been your biggest mistake or learning point in a DIY project? Whether in ministry or personally?

Orange Tour Dallas

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I had a great opportunity to invest into some of my leaders by taking them to the Orange Tour in Dallas this past week. It was an awarding experience, including some great bonding moments with my volunteers and staff. If you are familiar with the Orange strategy you know what kind of stuff we studied, if you aren’t it’s rather simple – “What if church leaders and parents synchronized their efforts to fuel wonder, discovery and passion in the next generation?” By combining the critical influences of the light of the church (yellow) and the love of the family (red) the Orange Strategy shows a generation who God is more effectively than either could alone.” –www.whatisorange.org

The main focus of the conference was “Lead Small” – what a great focus for my volunteer team, seeing that we don’t have a functioning small group model to offer all of our students currently. This helped pioneer some great discussion and what we will be trying to achieve for our ministry in the year ahead.

My greatest takeaway –

“When you lead change, you decide to make adjustments to present methods for the sake of a sacred mission.”

I love the story that was shared at Orange of a current lead pastor, Carey Nieuwhof, who started ministry in a relatively old church setting. When he came on staff, he walked into one of his first staff meetings and asked the question, “I’ve been driving around Toronto all day trying to tune in on some organ music, I can’t seem to find any, why are we playing organ music on Sunday mornings?” He knew something needed to change in order to reach the current culture – not change the message nor the mission, but rather the method, the style of music being offered.

I pray for all those pastors and ministry leaders that are timid to change programs and think differently about current structure in order to reach the next generation, especially those that don’t have a church home. While the gospel message will always be the aim in my ministry and should continually be our foundation, this generation and culture is changing at a pace that we must keep up with.

Will you lead change for the sake of a sacred mission? For the sake of the next generation in the church?

My Youth Year Resolution: 2013

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New Year 2013Wishing I could have a friendship with each and every student in my ministry is not realistic. Youth pastors are sometimes accused of having a few favorites, taking a special interest in a handful of students and hanging out with them all the time. And while that may be true, the greater truth is that when it comes to 100+ students, you can hardly remember all the names and say “Hi” to each of them on a Sunday morning. Students need more than just a “Hi” each week. Students need someone that is intentionally and consistently investing in their life, taking special interest in their spiritual development as they explore God and mature in their faith journey. I suppose someone needs to play favorites after all, it shouldn’t be solely the role of the youth pastor.

Programs are great teaching moments and momentum boosters, but authentic relationships is the glue of ministry – it keeps people together.

What’s my youth year resolution? In 2013 I plan to launch a small group movement for both middle school and high school students at my church. Connecting a student to an adult that is demonstrating an authentic relationship with God will benefit a student’s growth far more than any program. Life on life discipleship is not a new invention nor will it expire, this is what Jesus displayed for us. He did life with 12 men. He traveled with them, stayed up late with them, explored cities with them, went on camping trips with them, went hiking with them, went sailing with them…talked life with them, spoke truth to them, asked them the hard questions. There is no doubt according to scripture that these were monumental moments for the 12, that’s why we have them in writing.

Your leaders/volunteers may not be Jesus, but they do have the time to spend with students. How will they spend this time? How will they lead their group? What kind of adventures will they go on? Imagine how much impact a Christ following adult could have on 12 teenage lives.

Though I aspire to launch a small group movement for students, it begins with my leaders. Offer a small group or multiple small groups for your leaders – period. This not only helps in laying a foundation for students, but you can better grasp understanding of where they are at in their relationship with God and others. Seeing your leadership in a small group setting on a regular basis will hopefully be reflected in the way that they lead their small group.

Equipping them is key, find multiple ways to make this happen:

  • Get personal. Spend time with each leader, cast vision for them, help them set goals.
  • Develop a small group survival kit for them. More on this later.
  • Take them to a conference or on a retreat. We are going to Orange in January.
  • Show up at small group, let them know in advance. Give them feedback, applause and constructive criticism.

A few books to consider when initiating or developing a small group movement:

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Prioritize the TO-DO list.

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  1. If it takes 2 minutes, just do it!
  2. If someone can help, delegate it.
  3. If none of the above, put it on the calendar.

Every night I go home with a to-do list that is never complete. I dream big and know that my list will always out do me when push comes shove. Can you relate? The to-do’s will keep coming and we will never truly finish having to-do’s, but how would it feel to have the list prioritized so you spend more time getting things done rather than feeling at loss or defeated? Getting Things Done, this book has been a huge help in prioritizing my to-do list and has helped me develop a mindset of priority in a role that requires endless decisions to be made and a process for my many tasks to be completed.This chart is referenced in the book…put all of your to-do’s through this model and see what happens.

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Was Camp a Success?

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I have been to dozens of camps both as a student, volunteer and pastor. This past weekend I had the privilege of speaking at a camp in northern Georgia. My buddy Tim Tullis, a junior high pastor at a church in Knoxville invited me to spend the weekend with him and his students. Camp was a blast, I enjoyed the students and absolutely loved the camp. It confirmed that you can pull off a 6-12 camp for students in how you organize their time at camp, a schedule for HS and one for MS. The setting was truly an escape from reality, nestled in the Blue Ridge Mountains, I would highly recommend Woodlands Camp for any youth group looking for a camp setting in the south/east.

Though I thoroughly enjoyed speaking at the camp, I had the great privilege of participating in a 7th grade boys cabin talk one night. Hearing them say things like, “I need to apologize to my parents for the way I act” shows me they have a group of friends hearing them out, trusting them, and participating in life change when it happens –  there was some really great conversation! Sitting in the small group and hearing the the boys reflect on the things I shared in the large session really solidified some thoughts on camp. Students will run around, play crazy games, eat that awesome camp food and even take notes in the main session BUT the life change is happening in small groups. Talking with my team at staff meeting this week  my convictions were confirmed. Much of our time is spent programming for the main program, energy spent developing games, we make sure to provide students with enough free time – and cabin time becomes “whatever you guys want to talk about.” There should always be room for the whatever in a small group, but the whatever is hopefully guided toward the essentials of one’s faith journey.

When a youth group comes off of a mountain top experience, like camp, many students experience life change. They have encountered and dealt with some big things in their life and focused on their relationship with God for a solid 3-5 days. What helped make that life change a success?

  • Proximity – Take a student out of their element and put them in an environment that is not regular to them. Getting a student away from the computer, cell phone, their favorite CD allows their mind to think about other things in the present such as God and the people around them. When you take a student out of their normal routine it allows them to zoom out and get a panoramic view of life.
  • Scheduled God Time – For the most part, students hardly spend time with God or thinking about God outside their regular program(s) or small groups that the church facilitates for them. With 2 sessions a day, personal devotions, and cabin talks – scheduled time for students to rest in God’s word and think about their relationship with Him make a HUGE impact over a few days at camp.
  • Small Groups – This is where success happens at camp. It is not only the conversations that happen in the cabin but the intentionality of taking that stuff home as a small group and continue the conversation. The camp speaker is NOT the focal point, but merely someone who primes the pump and begins the conversation for greater conversation among established relationships.

Final Thought

If much of the camp’s success is dictated on followup with small groups, how can we better aim at equipping our small groups and leaders for the long haul when returning home? If you haven’t participated in a small group in some time but lead the direction for them you are missing out. It is incredibly important to take constant pulse checks on your small groups to better serve them and provide resources to help students get connected and stay connected.

Teach your mom how to use a computer!

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When I went away to college I’ll never forget how many times my parents would call and ask questions about the computer…how to attach a file, make a new folder, or even how to turn on the computer! Our parents didn’t grow up with computers, why blame them when you can help them?!

Help them answer questions like this:

  • Copy & Paste
  • Change background/screensaver
  • Create an online calendar
  • Chat & Video chat
  • Attach files to email

I was introduced to a website recently that google put together, I’m sure you will have fun organizing your own little tech care package for mom, dad, or the grandparents. The video tutorials are extremely helpful, I’m hoping to put together something similar  for new volunteers serving in my ministry – giving them specific video tutorials that are helpful for their area of serving – greeting, visitor check-in, leading a small group, etc.

Send some tech love to mom or dad HERE.

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