Life of a youth pastor .

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Are you ready to plant a church?

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Church planting has a special place in my heart; it is found in the DNA of both my home church Hill Country Bible Church and my current church, Gateway. I was a bit confused when I was asked to take a church planting survey while in my interview process. In the words of my senior pastor, “If we offer you this position I need to know that you understand church planting.” Not just this youth ministry, but almost every youth ministry and every youth pastor will experience this similar pressure at some point…to grow the ministry both spiritually and numerically. I believe that many veteran youth pastors make excellent candidates for church planting. Student ministry is full to the brim of church planting essentials: equipping people to lead, casting vision, working with budgets, hiring and leading staff, organizing serving opportunities and mission trips, leading small group movements, dedicating oneself to a weekly program of teaching and worship, the list goes on and on.

The assessment given to me was issued by ELI Church Planting. “ELI is mobilizing leaders to start new churches out of the culture – churches molded from messy people rising up out of the culture to become the Body of Christ.”

So, are you ready to plant a church? Check out ELI’s website for the free assessment and learn more about your areas of strength and needs for improvement when it comes to church planting.

One of my current reads on church planting is “Church Planter” by Darrin Patrick.

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The bird’s eye view.

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I bought wi-fi on the plane for the first time…it is very slow, I’d advise against it and actually want my $5 back. Nonetheless, this posting comes to you from 30,000 feet in the air!  We put man on the moon, so I guess we shouldn’t be too surprised.

How often do you look at your ministry from a bird’s eye view? Student ministry and really any ministry in the church is due a good look from a bird’s eye view. Up here I can see everything going on…cars and trucks, highways and interstates, farms and cities, rivers and forests, you get the idea. I just made this trip a couple months ago in a different  fashion – Chicago to Austin via the interstate…it was a very different experience. On the road you can pick out details and give very special focus to particular exits, restaurants, pick out and dissect the hotel you may want to stay in, even play that license plate game for 1000 miles! When you are on the ground in ministry you get sucked into the nitty-gritty details of one program, one leader’s concerns, a game that needs to planned, a message that needs to be written…and this happens everyday one thing after another, non-stop. Getting stuck on one topic, problem point, or program may take you miles in the wrong direction when you are looking at the big picture. We have people on the ground that have extremely specific serving roles that need direction and vision. We need to know where we are leading our team and how we are getting there. This requires a bird’s eye view…often.

How often do we take a two hour flight, get up in the sky and examine our ministry’s journey?

Juggling the many tasks that ministry demands becomes somewhat natural for someone that has been doing it for a while. You can think, “I’m doing it!” But at what point do you put all of those things down to pray, evaluate, and take a good look from a bird’s eye view at the whole picture?

Take 20 minutes to answer the following questions to get your own bird’s eye view of ministry…write your answers down and keep them in a place where you can see them throughout the day. Repeat the exercise at least once a month.

  • Pray for an honest heart in evaluating yourself and your ministry.
  • Where is my ministry bearing fruit?
  • How can I thank God for what He is doing among my flock?
  • Is my team driving the same direction I feel God calling us? Why or why not?
  • Do the passengers trust the pilot? How can I continue to build trust with my team?
  • What stories can be captured that will fuel my leaders with encouragement?
  • What people or areas of ministry need more attention or focus from me?
  • What item(s) am I spending too much time on?
  • Pray for a willing heart to follow through on the questions you have answered.

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Vision, start up strategies, & my volunteer handbook.

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theSamePage

Where do you start in getting people on the same page? Within two months coming into my position of student pastor I quickly realized that many of my leaders had a heart for students and community. Though that might be a good thing, I also realized that the definition of student ministry and community was very different for each individual. At the same time we had just done a pancake push to recruit more leaders. With an updated roster containing more than 60 names the last thing I wanted to do was shake things up and lose leaders. I knew that clarity, direction and vision was desperately needed as we move ahead together in aligning our efforts to maximize our potential. We offered a vision lunch and 30 of our leaders showed up. Getting them on the same page, I gave them a vision statement and a student ministry handbook. While it may seem like shuffling papers at times, this stuff is a must for any ministry!

VISION. You need something short, simple, easy to remember but all encompassing to what you are about as a ministry. This vision should be a rally point for leaders and students alike. Anyone should be able to critique your programs, small groups, outreach nights, camps, retreats, etc. against your vision and see that they line up. What are you striving for in ministry? What is the end goal for your staff, leaders, volunteers, and students? Does it match your churches philosophy of ministry? I am still tweaking the statement, but this what we have landed on for now.

 Get connected to God. Get connected to people. Stay connected to both.

If we were successful in doing this as a ministry I think the end result would be an alive and thriving student ministry. The following vision of student ministry was a benchmark that was passed on to me from Bobby Pruitt, my high school youth pastor.

Student ministry is not student ministry until the student is doing ministry.

My desire would be that my leaders understand that small groups, teaching, music, and dynamic programs are all good things but these things are not the end result we are chasing after. Student ministry is not a 4-7 year sprint spiritually, crossing the finish line when the student graduates high school. We pray the individual student will be equipped to take every opportunity for the rest of their lives starting in middle school to look to the interest of others and display the attitude of Jesus, as found in Philippians 2.

STUDENT MINISTRY HANDBOOK. I think phrasing it like that sounds a bit less constrictive than a policy manual or rules to follow…but it is what it sounds like. To both our veteran leaders of 8+ years and those new leaders just expressing interest, this handbook provides in greater detail how we are going to accomplish the vision. The handbook provides the reality of expected duties that a leader will sign off on claiming they understand we are on the same page. It contains specific serving role protocol along with descriptions, requirements/expectations of  a leader/volunteer, and a section on child abuse protocol and procedure. Prior to going over sealing the deal with the handbook there is an online application they are asked to fill out that covers references and background checks. Here is a sample of our most current Student Ministry Handbook.

Here are a few things I think should be included in any handbook and discussed with any leader or volunteer serving in student ministry:

  • A welcome letter.
  • Vision statement.
  • Their involvement in a community that is encouraging their personal spiritual walk. If they aren’t being poured into how can you expect them to pour into the lives of students?
  • Age requirements of those serving. (I’ll write more on this later)
  • Meeting with and driving students.
  • Sleepovers and students at your house.
  • Romantic relationships across the board.
  • Child abuse policy and procedure.
  • Be above reproach. This is a catch all phrase, holding leaders/volunteers to a higher standard to ensure both the safety of them and the student.

Get your ministry on the same page. Give them a vision to follow and handbook to go to when questions come up or they want to know where you stand on situations that will occur in ministry. Subscribe via email to lifeofayouthpastor.com in the upper right hand corner of this page.

A common place; a common vision.

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It can feel like herding cattle at times…getting all of your students or leaders into the same place at the same time. Sure we do this for our weekly program(s) but what about irregular meeting times? Why are they equally if not more important?

This past weekend I had the privilege of attending the “Gateway Getaway” with many other staff, leaders, and volunteers. The church reserved a conference room in the five-star Horseshoe Bay Resort and blocked out hundreds of rooms for families at a discounted price. The aim of the weekend was to allow a core of families, staff and leaders to enjoy a weekend together while also being introduced to the vision of our church moving forward this year and beyond.

I live for this stuff! One of my greatest desire for any church or ministry is unity. Unity in thought, vision, action and philosophy of ministry will take you far in building the kingdom together as a team. The question that I keep asking…

“How do I share my vision for the student ministry with so many different people?”

Here are a few MUSTS that come to mind:

  • Constantly communicate your vision to those that lead you. This will allow your supervisor space to speak into your vision and encourage you along the way…helping you develop your vision before rolling it out to your leaders.
  • Share with the individual leader. This makes for many individual meetings, but when you share the same vision with the entire group of leaders it should reduce questioning or confusion. They will have already heard the vision, it takes 7 times to stick.
  • Allow questioning. You aren’t the only one who is a vision-caster or bearing leadership gifts. In the end you should give direction and establish a finalized vision, but allow the team to contribute and ask questions.
  • A common place. I cannot stress the importance of this one. I’ll dive into more detail…

A common place; a common vision. That is exactly what took place many weeks before this leader getaway. Get people out of the established rhythm of life and away from the things that distract us. The entire Gateway staff was invited to a common place for the weekend, a ranch outside of town to be exact. There was little to no cell phone reception. For two days we experienced community, worship, prayer, brainstorming, team-building activities, sharing meals, and contributing to the vision. We got on board where God was leading us as a church, so when it came to this past weekend there was an established core knowing where we were headed, helping set the pace for others. This was a win! I am eager to re-produce something similar for my leaders.

I am headed into a new ministry season with veterans who have been here for 8+ years and some that have just expressed interest in serving within the student ministry. A common place for a common vision is needed more than ever before! Though the programmer within me wants to establish a steady pace for the year ahead, the unity factor is screaming for attention, “Find a common place! Establish a common vision!” I am looking for a weekend in the months ahead to rally my team together for a common vision. It might not be a ranch, but simply someone’s home that we gather in, somewhere to gather outside our weekly meeting space at the church. My end goal is to have a more unified core of leaders that understand WHY we lead in student ministry before we learn HOW to lead in student ministry! Kenny, my supervisor over at childrensministryonline.com goes deeper on hows vs. whys This is what I’m chasing after with my new group of leaders.

If you haven’t done this yet, get out there and find that common place!

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Security Deposit!

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My wife Calla and I were scrambling to get everything out of our rental house so our landlord could do a walk through. It’s been a good little house, we will miss it. After getting the last box out on the sidewalk the landlord pulled into our drive.

Now, you must understand that we have really done them a favor by turning the Est. 1920 house into a 21st century home with some fresh paint, new counters for the kitchen, my father-in-law Kevin and I gutted and put up new drywall the bathroom…..the list really does go on and on, I like to leave things better than when I found them.

As I was talking with the landlord the previous week, I did bring up that we would hope to get the security deposit back from her after the walk through. We expected the security deposit after the walk through, and the landlord asks, “How much were you expecting to get back?” I followed up by responding with the amount that we pay monthly for rent, I knew that was what I put down for a security deposit. She answered back, “I looked back at my records, you paid last months rent up front as well, here is a check for double that amount!”

Honesty is priceless. She could have scammed us, but didn’t. She could have lied and kept a lot of money for herself, but didn’t. I know honesty between family, friends, and peers can be devastating sometimes – but the opposite is true, you can truly bless someone with your honesty. How could you be honest with someone today? Make their day and bless them with honesty.

Lessons learned…

  • Do a better job recording and documenting purchases (I like taking pictures of receipts with my phone and emailing them to myself) what do you do?
  • Honesty is the best policy…lame I know, but so true.

If you do the right thing, honesty will be your guide. But if you are crooked, you will be trapped by your own dishonesty. Proverbs 11:3

We just put down another security deposit on a little place in Texas (yes, I have made a copy of the lease and what we have paid)…it’s a guest house on someone’s land. There are longhorns walking around! No joke.

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The tough conversation…

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We have all been there – knowing we need to have that tough conversation with a friend, relative or peer. The conversation is not being looked forward to because you know there will be confrontation in your conversation. As much as you would like to think that this person will eventually ‘get it’ most of the time they won’t unless you talk it out.

There have been many times in my life I have been the one confronted…and if done right, I am forever grateful! There have also been times that I have been on the other side, trying to confront someone about something…perhaps it’s an attitude, a cycle of sin, or even just feedback on how someone is leading. I think we all have been on either side of the equation and I’d like to take a moment to unfold some things to keep in mind that will help you the next time you are approached by someone with a confrontation or perhaps you need to have the tough conversation with someone else.

1. Show some humility. We are all sinners here, remember you have had your moments too! Any situation can be a learning moment, do not put yourself above the person that is calling you out – hear them out. When you sit down to have a conversation with a student, leader, or peer and want to confront them – think about where you have struggled in life, perhaps in the same areas.

2. Be quick to speak…scripture tells us not to let the sun go down if we are angry with our brother or sister in Christ. We need to talk things out –  NOT in the heat of the moment, take a breath, take a walk, talk with God first. We need to make sure we are speaking in love, not out of our sin nature in anger or hate. Have open ears to listen to the other person, but we cannot let important feedback linger. If we confront someone about a situation that took place 6 months ago, this could blur the lines of caring, urgency, and priority. If it was that important, why are you waiting until now to bring it up? Avoiding the conversation will only make things worse and furthermore show that this confrontation is not important.

3. Be honest. I know that when I’m honest with a student or leader, there might be some questions, dislike, hurt feelings, perhaps even disagreement but in the end they usually thank me for being honest. The worst thing that could happen is being honest with others about how you feel toward a particular person without being honest directly with that specific person, this is called GOSSIP! Honesty can and will complicate conversations, but it does bring us closer to the realities we are discussing and the feelings we are feeling.

4. Follow Up. I had a really tough conversation with a student a few weeks ago – it was honest, we both showed humility, and both of us saw it as a learning experience. We perceived certain things about each other that seemed to drive a wedge between us…we both perceived wrongly. It was so good to clear the air and have the tough conversation. Through tears, prayer and hug I still felt a little bit uneasy where things were left UNTIL the follow up. We briefly talked exactly a week later and I feel much better as where things stand. Tough conversations can be really hard for both the listener and the one who feels compelled to say something…let it settle in for a while. Evaluate the conversation as you have it, will this need to be re-visited? Do I need to bring in a parent or church staff member into this conversation? What would be the best way to follow up? Make it a point to tell your listener…”I’d like to follow up next week.” And do it! This shows that your truly care about them. Ask them how they are doing, ask them if they have had any thoughts on the conversation you had. If you are the listener and you think it may be needed, make sure you ask for a follow up conversation. Some things might be revealed to you that you should not respond to in the heat of the moment, let it settle…pray over the things said, do a self evaluation and perhaps seek wise counsel from someone you respect.

Though there are many things to consider, but these few things kept in mind when having a tough conversation can be extremely helpful. I know they have helped me!

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